To all of y'all freshman parents from a sophomore mama!

berurah · August 26, 2006, 12:32am

I have read the accounts of some of the parents of freshmen who have experienced the poignant feelings around first-semester freshman drop-off. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you all. I KNOW how hard it is. I was one of you just a short year ago!

Today, I just flew back from Durham where I helped my son move in for his sophomore year at Duke, and I wanted to share a few thoughts with you. As a probably "overly attached" mom, I had a very difficult time last year as we left our son in a strange place 1250 miles from home. I felt SO vulnerable....who would be there for him if an emergency arose, and who would care for him if he became ill? The simple contemplation of those things left me pretty distraught and unbelievably anxious. I was pretty much a BASKET CASE as we pulled out for the long drive home.

As the first semester progressed and then the second one, I became more and more at ease. He met friends, GOOD friends, who stuck by each other and supported each other through both challenging and wonderful times. He had people with whom to celebrate his birthday in Februray when he was away from home for that special day for the first time ever. He met some astounding adult supporters and mentors who have made such a difference in his life. The year went well, VERY well, and he returned back home for the summer a very happy and successful college student. He even brought a friend home for a three week visit last May!

Dropping him off this year was a totally different experience. From the moment we hit the campus, he was approached over and over and over by smiling and enthusiastic friends from his freshman year. Handshakes and hugs and laughs abounded, and it filled my heart with such incredible joy to see my child loved and appreciated and welcomed by so many people. From tentative, freshman newbie to confident, knowledgeable sophomore--what a difference a year makes!

I still felt pretty despondent about leaving him...but THIS time, it was for MY sake only. HE was happy, enthusiastic, and eagerly anticipating the fun and exciting year ahead. So, frosh parents, HANG IN THERE!!! In just a short time, your child, too, will be meeting new people, engaging in fascinating classes, and having the time of his/her life! And next year will be MUCH easier, you'll see! :)

One really cool thing happened for me on this trip to Durham...I got to meet my FIRST CCer IRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DukeEgr93 and I shared the most marvelous dinner of sushi and sake (my son, who was supposed to join us, got "friendnapped" for dinner that night!). Let me tell y'all, DukeEgr93 is the GREATEST guy EVER. An absolute DOLL. I really enjoyed our brief time together--he's a fascinating man, a great conversationalist, and a warm and friendly person, all of this wrapped in a gorgeous package!! Yeah, he's good lookin' too! ;)

Here's wishing all of you CCers successful and exciting school years for your kids!

fondly, ~berurah

digmedia · August 26, 2006, 12:41am

Thanks, Berurah..

Right now I'm waiting to pick up my son from a flight from California (delay after delay - now expected at 1:30 am - Z..z..Z..Z..z....) and then he goes back to school in a few days. It'll be interesting to see the difference this time (he too is a soph),

Tookie · August 26, 2006, 1:54am

Berurah, isn't it a joy to see your son so happy? I had the same experience when we dropped our sophomore son off last weekend as well. It's such a great feeling to know they are where they're supposed to be and (thanks to us) they have everything they need. You're right - saying goodbye the second year is not nearly as bad as freshman year.

And, I, too, met a CCer (I don't think he writes on here anymore).

ariesathena · August 26, 2006, 4:38am

Aww, Berurah! :) Yay for your wonderful son!

No fair that DukeEng gets to meet you first. :(

sjmom2329 · August 26, 2006, 8:35am

It's great when they are so happy to return to school! Our son is supposed to move back on September 16th -- but that's not soon enough for him, and he's trying to find a way to go back earlier. Of course the dorms aren't available until the 16th, and H will be out of town before then, so there really isn't anyway for me to get him and all his gear up there. But I'm glad that he's so comfortable and enthusiastic about school. Congratulations on getting him back for year 2, Berurah!

binx · August 26, 2006, 9:51am

I don't know, Berurah -- for me it gets harder every year! :) I handled it just fine when oldest was dropped off freshmen year. Now, 5 years later, getting ready to send S2 off for his junior year, I only hate it more. I think it's because I have since discovered that, after graduation, they get jobs somewhere else, and I don't even get them for summers....

Now didn't that cheer you all up?

I am consoling myself that I am at least now on the same side of the Atlantic.

And pushing aside my own melancholy feelings, congratulations for a successful trip, and I DO understand the consolation it brings to see your kid so happy and "at home" where he is. Maybe if I actually got to "take" my kids somewhere (besides to the airport), I would get that, too.

berurah · August 26, 2006, 11:11am

dig~

Hey sweetie! Hope your son made it in O.K. last night!! I hate airline delays sigh. Good luck getting your son back to school soon. If you need a sympathetic shoulder, I'm here!!

Tookie~

I'm SO glad that you had a similar experience dropping off your sophomore son! I really did get a kick out of how "at home" my son felt there, how he could now navigate the campus and surrounding area, and how he had made so many friends and acquaintances last year. I wish your son the BEST YEAR ever!! Hey, if you ever get out to Kansas, give me a call...you're one CCer I'd definitely LOVE to meet! :)

aries~

Thanks for the sweet words, honey!! And yeah, meeting DE93 was definitely the highlight of the trip! ;) Wish YOU had been there too!

sjmom2329

[quote]
Our son is supposed to move back on September 16th -- but that's not soon enough for him, and he's trying to find a way to go back earlier.

[/quote]

WOW!! What a joy it must be to see your son SO happy and enthused about going back. Our son is still quite conflicted. Leaving home was harder for him than he had expected as he still have a gf (of TWO YEARS) and many good friends who stayed local. And yet, now he's embracing his new life at Duke as well, and I'm glad! Good luck getting your son back to school in September! No matter what way you slice it or dice it, moving is a hassle! My best wishes to your son this year!!

Awwwwwwwww, binx, {{{{{HUGS!!!!}}}}}.

I'm sorry that this process has gotten harder for you over the years, and I can TOTALLY understand why. Don't know that I was quite ready for that reality yet, though!! lolololol :D Best of luck to your son on his upcoming junior year--I hope it is everything he could hope for. And WELCOME BACK TO THE STATES, SWEETIE!!!!!!

love, ~berurah

naneth · August 26, 2006, 12:12pm

Berurah-
Thanks for the update. Glad to see thing with so well with this year's "drop-off". We have one more week before we take D up for her sophomore year.
I have kind of got used to having her around again! I am sure it will be easier than last year.

Tookie · August 26, 2006, 12:19pm

Berurah, my S's GF is attending same college this year as a freshman. His life seemed complete since he had a car and a girlfriend this year. It was sweet seeing them smiling and holding hands as we got ready to leave. Oh, to be young again - but I don't envy all the studying!

luckysmom · August 26, 2006, 3:55pm

How fabulous that your S is having such a fantastic college experience! Congrats on a smooth transition. Hope it'll be another great year for your S!

system · August 26, 2006, 4:09pm

THANKS fo posting this, berurah, it has helped me alot!

I was OK with the freshman dropoff last weekend, but this week has been tough! My dd loves her professors, but is feeling the lack of good friends right now. She tends to be quite a stoic and non-clingy person, so I only know this from brief emails/IMs- and a mother's intuition.

Luckily, I've read many threads on CC besides this one that have taught me this will all likely be transient, hopefully!

Hugs to YOU, berurah!

runnersmom · August 26, 2006, 4:40pm

I'm with Binx! Just dropped S2 off at the airport to head back for his sophomore year and I must say I'm really sad. e's very happy at school, had a great summer and is ready to go back. For me, I think it's the knowledge that the summer after freshman year was the last time S1 was home for any extended period of time (he's a rising senior) and now I feel like S2 has left for good too. My D (HS senior, with all that entails!) is still home, but the writing is on the wall for 12 months from now. As we say in our house, "oy vey!"

system · April 17, 2021, 1:51am

To all of y'all freshman parents from a sophomore mama!

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