<p>Cobrat, talking about rural areas is OFF TOPIC. We are talking about college grads who are interviewing for jobs in cities / metro areas all over the country. Which means the kid who takes the banking job in Charlotte. Or the kid who goes into the Target management trainee program in Minneapolis. Or the P&G program in Cincinnati. Or a Dell Computer job in Austin. Or working for the Cardinals organization in St. Louis. Or a bank with headquarters in Phoenix. And so forth. Why are you going on and on about people’s experiences in rural areas, when we aren’t talking about that?</p>
<p>And 20 years ago.<br>
And to someone else.</p>
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<p>Even if we talk about rural areas, I know of doctors who establish thriving practices (which would not happen if the locals despised them) and raise families in rural areas where very few people share their ethnicity. They may send their children to college prep high schools in the Northeast, but it’s because they have higher educational aspirations than many local parents, not because their children are made miserable by racial bullying.</p>
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<p>And if you had read my reply on that part, I agreed with you that most of the professional aspects would be the same as in any other bank. </p>
<p>However, there are also differences whether it is regional cultural customs, socialization/activities outside of work, and other differences. </p>
<p>Sometimes, those differences are such that a given city/area may be a good fit for one person and a horrible fit for another. </p>
<p>Some of my Charlotte based banker friends would hate working in Boston due to what they perceive as the greater coldness/aloof manner of Bostonians or the likelihood of living close to large concentration of undergrad students. Qualities others may perceive as positives.</p>
<p>New Englanders aren’t cold and aloof. Another stereotype.</p>
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<p>Life isn’t college, Cobrat. Fit???</p>
<p>Look, the only fit a college graduate needs to worry about is the job fit. Or, they need to worry about the life fit. But, don’t be surprised when there is an overabundance of job candidates for a certain industry in a certain area when you can’t get the job because it is going to the Booth MBA.</p>
<p>You can do things in other cities that you can’t do in NYC.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a kid who doesn’t want to work on the local governor’s race but wants to get in on the presidential campaign and can’t figure out why next campaign his friend who stayed in Ohio gets a better job on the next presidential campaign because he had a higher position on the successful campaign at home.</p>
<p>in this day and age, it pays to think a little bit out of the box.</p>
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<p>No one said that the banking job in Boston would be <em>exactly like</em> the banking job in Charlotte. Of course there are differences in weather, transportation / commute, regional and cultural customs and so forth. But people are people everywhere. My daughter goes to school in Boston and really likes it. However, upon graduation, I’m pretty darn sure she’d rather be employed in Charlotte vs unemployed in Boston. </p>
<p>And this constant “twenty years ago, something happened to a friend of a cousin of a relative in the boonies, so therefore the entire region is off limits” is not logical thinking.</p>
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<p>I know that very well from having lived in the Boston area for several years. </p>
<p>However, that’s the perception of many of those Charlotte banker friends from previous visits to the Boston area and from observing differences in communication styles. </p>
<p>Part of that perception comes from their feeling that it’s natural to strike up random conversations with random people…even strangers in the course of one’s daily life whereas that same attitude tends to be regarded as “fake” or “weird” to those of us in NYC or Boston. </p>
<p>It’s a perceptual difference I’ve also noticed with friendly town residents in my Midwest college. Over there, it’s natural to say hi even to strangers if you’re walking by them or to carry on small-talk with the locals serving you in a given business. </p>
<p>Doing the same in NYC or Boston tends to be taken as odd or sometimes even obnoxious…especially the NYC of my childhood in the '80s and early-mid '90s.</p>
<p>Ironically, I am naturally more inclined towards the Charlotte/Midwest socializing culture though I know better than to practice it in the urban NE.</p>
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<p>Darn, here goes TPG’s secret ambition to complement his income and retire as a farmer. He’ll have to go a bit more to the south. Or rub elbows with the locals in Aggieland.</p>
<p>Okay, who tagged the thread “jobs in rural areas” Tex?</p>
<p>So funny.</p>
<p>Tex is just annoyed because he wants people to pretend that texas is horrible place to live so he doesn’t get any more traffic on the roads.</p>
<p>"it’s natural to strike up random conversations with random people even strangers in the course of one’s daily life whereas that same attitude tends to be regarded as “fake” or “weird” to those of us in NYC or Boston. "</p>
<p>while I don’t live in NY currently I am a native and this is simply not true. We NYers strike up conversations all the time, it’s not considered weird.</p>
<p>my takeaway from this portion of the thread is that it’s healthy and smart to be open to where life may take you. my s in the research triangle absolutely loves the area, his company, his research job. his concern was never about location, (was open to many) but about type of work, he would have hated working in banking, even though his degree qualified him to do so. my d who graduates next month is equally open to relocating, and to taking a job that will help her get into grad school, fully realizing she’ll not have her pick of location, and will need to work hard.</p>
<p>personally I think emotional intelligence trumps the school you went to when it comes to life satisfaction and success. getting along with others, staying motivated, remaining optimistic, managing through ups and downs…I agree that we do our kids a service when they understand they have to pay their dues when they start their careers…</p>
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<p>Well, then, heaven forbid you ever move to any other part of the country where the conventions challenge you in some way, shape or form. Yes, that’s a real winner attitude in life. “They don’t chit-chat in Boston the way I’m used to, so I won’t move there!” “They chit-chat too much in Charlotte, so I won’t move there!” </p>
<p>People are free to hold such attitudes, but those are narrow attitudes, and it’s not a flattering mentality to hold yourself off from new experiences. Who knows, you might move to Charlotte / Boston and really enjoy it. But, you know, you have to give things and people a chance. Your “friends” don’t sound like they know how to give things a chance. Not impressive.</p>
<p>In the NY area and meet random strangers all the time, wherever I go. Dated a bunch of them between my marriages and have made friends.</p>
<p>Just an hour today talking to a Starbucks friend, a 34 year grad student I only talk to there. He was willing to spend his time talking to me too!</p>
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<p>The difference between me and you here is that I try to understand the reasons behind what you term “narrow attitudes” and be somewhat charitable about it without pulling a snobby old Victorian attitude of “Not impressed”. </p>
<p>Most people need some time and mental space to adjust themselves…especially if they’ve lived and grew up with one set of cultural norms, expectations, etc for most of their lives. Some more than others. </p>
<p>I think another dimension is the fact you’ve admitted on previous postings that you are an INTJ and thus, are an introvert. </p>
<p>Just like introverts have a much harder time trying to live by standards set by extroverts, extroverts like those Charlotte friends tend to have a very difficult time not chattering away every time they meet someone. </p>
<p>Granted, I may be a bit biased as I myself am an extrovert…but whose extroversion isn’t to the high degree as those friends.</p>
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<p>Do you find most/all random strangers you pass by on the street saying hi/greeting you in ways that you’d usually reserve only for those you know? </p>
<p>In rural NE Ohio, that was a near daily occurrence which took a little while to get used to as that wasn’t done in the NYC of my childhood/adolescence…especially not in my old neighborhood where doing so could incur a risk of getting mugged/beaten up.</p>
<p>poetgrl: I am sorry I misinterpreted your tone, but the internet can be that way. I don’t understand your blanket pronouncements about work in NYC or the NE. I am not opposed to my kids moving anywhere they want. Then I could. 
We are a very close family, and all academics, and we often help in each other in our work although we all are in different areas.</p>
<p>My S just listened to a talk I gave a conference sponsored by Tufts. He had good suggestions of where to cut, and now it’s being considered for an award. I do the same for him and my D. We would survive without each other near, for sure, but he enjoy it.</p>
<p>All of D’s friends who had appropriate majors and interests got jobs at famous firms in finance and international brokerage firms. And they were applying in 2009, the height of the meltdown.</p>
<p>D’s bf got a job as a programmer for a hedge fund the day he posted his resume on line with a major in applied math. He is living in Brooklyn and working near Penn Station.</p>
<p>I am a bit frightened for them that they’ve chosen academics given the hiring situation, but we agreed that only funded PhD programs made sense so tuition is paid and there is an almost livable stipend that could be called a salary. D is at Stony Brook and based half at home and half in Brooklyn with BF.</p>
<p>S hasn’t landed yet. Still in a masters program.</p>
<p>If either wants a community college job instead of going across the country for a job at a four year school I don’t see that as a bad choice. I don’t see the opposite as a bad choice either.</p>
<p>If they can’t make it in academics they’ll have to do something else. They might have to go across the country or the connections they’ve made here may get them jobs.</p>
<p>It’s certainly not true that there are no jobs in the NE. </p>
<p>Broadway, fashion, there are many industries still spearheaded here.</p>
<p>One can get work in those fields other places too.</p>
<p>Yes, it’s hard for young people trying to fund apartments in NYC on starter jobs, but I know dozens of kids doing it and happy to do it.</p>
<p>My kid spent a year in London and vowed never to leave NYC again. I wanted to live in CA, but it never happened. But I’ve spent the 40 years since college in a beautiful, old whaling town. It makes me really happy. I see water and the ferry everyday. I have also gotten a PhD and a tenured job here that I’ve worked at for 28 years. </p>
<p>I did make career sacrifices, but my salary hasn’t suffered, just the prestige. I was here to see my mom through the death of my dad, a big move, and hip surgery. I am not an especially provincial person, and I do respect other cities and parts of the US; this is just my part.</p>
<p>I really don’t see the superiority of the willingness to move all over the country or the world; it’s wonderful when people can/do, but I don’t see why my kids’ desire to stay put is denounced. I really don’t.</p>
<p>Jobs in NYC are not as scarce as this thread implies.</p>
<p>My D spend one year in law school before she decided that she wanted to teach legal history instead. The school is in NYC and the kids now graduating from her class all have jobs lined up.</p>
<p>Hm. Yes, I do wish she did, but she was utterly miserable.</p>
<p>She will look a historical societies, high school prep schools, all college level jobs, and anything else a historian can do.</p>
<p>She’s chosen a very sellable dissertation topic.</p>
<p>I am not going to tell her she has to go across the country, especially when she has a fully employed serious boyfriend.</p>
<p>Yes. I speak with random strangers. And not so random. All over New England and NY. This is not buttonholing them, making it intense.<br>
Not as easy in NJ.</p>
<p>We get older, an old whaling town sounds like paradise, no?</p>
<p>I’m really speaking to a specific industry and a specific mindset, Mythmom.</p>
<p>I highly, highly doubt your children are dead set on Goldman Sachs or Mckinsey. I’m sure they have an open mind.</p>
<p>But, it is true that there are a lot of opportunities in finance outside of NYC, particularly these days, and I see these kids on here and… I think, either stay in the city or move to another one and start your career.</p>
<p>Of course, I’m also positive that many of them will hate that business and find a new life, but I’ve taught my kids to walk through the open doors and not stand there banging their head against the wall. </p>
<p>But, when I say good luck. I genuinely mean good luck. I hope your kids can find a position in academia. Would they move to the Northwest? I think there are more positions at places like the flagship in Wyoming, though I could be wrong.</p>
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<p>I think for me, it’s a remnant of some old thread where it was taken for granted that the smart kid from (say) Minneapolis wouldn’t find it a big deal to get on a plane and come to Boston for school, but why would you dare suggest (say) Carleton to a smart kid from Boston - I mean, he’d have to get on a plane and EVERYTHING. (And then there was much moaning and whining about the logistical difficulties of getting on a plane and everything, from well-to-do to rich parents who had clearly never spared any expenses for their kids, but who were apparently stymied by a direct flight from NY or Boston or Philadelphia to Minneapolis. Though, funnily enough, flying to attend Stanford never seemed to be an issue.)</p>
<p>When someone from the midwest stayed in the midwest, or someone from the south stayed in the south, it was because they were pretty much an unsophisticated hick unwilling to move out of their comfort zone, but when someone from the northeast wanted to stay in the northeast, well, it was simply because they had “family values.” </p>
<p>It just gets a little old at times!</p>
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<p>Considering that all of our race and discrimination policies are based on what happened 50 years ago or more, I think it’s not so absurd to use examples from 20 years ago. And actually, I think it’s more like 15 years if I remember cobrat’s approximate age correctly.</p>
<p>The only reason people aren’t more sympathetic is because of the particular race involved here.</p>
<p>Nope</p>
<p>CA. It’s not because of that.</p>
<p>It’s because he was discussing rural areas instead of urban areas. I’m not, however, suggesting people move if they don’t want to move. Don’t move. But don’t mistake Austin Texas for rural New Hampshire.</p>