<p>I only defoliate my legs ever once in a while. The hair is colorless ( blond not grey ;))and sparse, ditto for under arms, although I rarely go sleeveless. It tends to really itch when I shave, so I dont do it that often. I wash regularly so it isn’t an issue of grooming IMO.</p>
<p>Plus I live in Seattle, not NYC or L.A…
;)</p>
<p>Bromfield, I dont think women who go grey are witches and I dont think those who color their hair are tarts, but glasses are a functional mechanism, dyeing is vanity.</p>
<p>Apparently I have to mention it again but at 55 I dont have grey hair.
At 55, I also have yet to go through menopause.
I still have regular periods, every, single, month!</p>
<p>( since I also had a much needed knee replacement, I think someone messed up my programming!)</p>
<p>Look, almost everyone here disagrees with the “authentic” comment. But to equate dyeing hair with wearing glasses is disingenuous. Dyeing hair affects appearance. Glasses affect an actual function.</p>
<p>Look, if your looks are affecting your job security, I guess you’re stuck with dealing with it in any way you need to–or want to. But I don’t think you can equate fighting a prejudice over appearance/ageing, with correcting an actual disability.</p>
<p>EK: I don’t think coloring your hair is vanity–coloring, to me, is an intervention just like reading glasses are an intervention. I need them both. It keeps me reading and it keeps me happy.</p>
<p>BTW: I didn’t go into menopause until I had a hysterectomy at age 56. Should have done it 10 years earlier.</p>
<p>Just thought Id mention that MANY years ago, right after medical school, I NEEDED to look older. People said I was a little kid, and how DARE I make decisions over whether they should live or die ( they wanted to die). Hard to believe, but this is the first time I’ve considered that looking younger would be more credible. Still not sure thought, at least among physicians.</p>
<p>When I had my first child, 10 weeks early for fetal distress, the resident who came in to prepare me was perhaps even younger than I was at the time. I admit I was a little nervous, especially since she was on the cute as a bug side, rather than Lageratha of Lothbrok style.</p>
<p>Clothing can do a lot when you look young though.</p>
<p>I’m not gonna have surgery just cause I’m still having periods.
What if my H gets hit by a truck and Glen Hansard wants a passle of red headed cherubim?</p>
<p>Shrinkrap- through the years there is some dismay and comfort in knowing that none of my thoughts are original and none of my problems are unique. That said- MANY years ago I also after med school and in internship changed my hair color. I had highlights which I considered less serious than brown hair. I cut it and used the natural color. I thought people would take me more seriously at the time. My joke was that I never needed to put my degrees on the wall but thought about framing my birth certificate because the only think people wanted to know was my age. Well, now that I am 57 I am still asked my age by the geriatric patients. I eventually through the years went back to highlights, then in the last few years since my greys, now use semipermanent close to my natural color. </p>
<p>I feel like the reason I look younger is mainly that I am so short 5 ft and a full suit and heels never helped (little girl in heels). I am also petite in general. I have to say that genetics is a big factor. My aunt who already had 6 kids was catholic and at mass they would not give her the pamphlet because it was only for adults, she was in her 40s! </p>
<p>My come to peace now is do what I think looks good for my hair style and color that is easy, wear nice clothes that look modern and fit well, and get through the day.</p>
<p>This happened to me too. I was an executive at 36 and looked about 25. I know this because I still vividly recall a professional contact asking me whether I had a relative in the firm who put me in my job, as I was certainly too young to have earned it myself. (She was stunned and apologized when I told her my age. But I was insulted to the core and have never forgotten the incident.)</p>
<p>I don’t mind looking my age now (53). In a suit, good makeup and a good haircut, I can walk into a boardroom or Louis Vuitton and feel confident. I confess I might feel the pressure to visit a colorist if I had to interview for a new job however. Age discrimination does exist for women and it goes both ways.</p>
<p>I’ll never understand why men color. Most look a lot better going silver once they are over 45, in my opinion.</p>
<p>NorthMinnesota: what church has rules that you can’t shave your pits/legs? Yikes!</p>
<p>I really don’t have distinctions when I look at women with gray vs. colored hair except to think either “wow, that looks great; maybe I should reconsider the coloring thing!” or “she’s younger than me?” for gray vs. “who’s her colorist? I’ll sneak a picture to show my colorist!” or “that is not a good color” for dyed hair. It’s just not everyone’s thing, KWIM? </p>
<p>As for Botox, I’ve tried it. Asked about it after having something removed at my skin cancer check and next thing I knew, a smoother forehead I thought it looked great, but not a single person ever made a comment. Not even my DH or D’s. I was hoping for at least a “did you sleep well last night?” as I have a pretty deep furrow in my brow. Nope. It came up in casual conversation about 6 months later, and the family was pretty stunned.</p>
<p>RobD The same thing happened to my mom when she got botox. None of us could tell! When I saw her a couple of days later she kept asking if I saw something different. I thought she had changed her haircut!</p>
<p>LOL at that one, EK. I know exactly the color you’re talking about. </p>
<p>I’ve switched to a lighter temporary color, and will go a little lighter with each coloring. This is my plan until all the permanent coloring grows out. Then I can eventually see how I look with gray. If I don’t like it, I can just start back on the permanent hair color. </p>
<p>My husband is against me going gray. But he’s been completely gray since his late 30’s, so how can he complain about me?</p>
<p>I’ve been having my hair colored for about 8 years. I had not intended to color the grays, but as more and more of them came in I started to look very washed out. My natural dark brown had faded quite a bit, too. The colorist pulled some of the hair from the back underneath layers to the front, and the difference was startling. I like the color that they are using, it’s a medium golden brown, lighter than my (former) natural shade. And the texture of my hair is better with the coloring.</p>
<p>I am really tired of the maintenance now. I’ve got a lot of gray and the roots come in quickly. There’s a lot of time and money going down the drain on my hair now. I’ve always been a low-maintenance person. I never colored my hair before 8 years ago, and I’ve never in my life worn any makeup other than eyeliner, mascara, and clear lip gloss. I did wear lipstick at my wedding. So the frequent trips to the salon are really weighing on me.</p>
<p>I wish there were a rinse that I could put on my hair myself that would turn the grays into highlights. I wouldn’t mind them if they were gold but the silver does not look good on me.</p>
<p>When I stop working I will stop coloring my hair. I don’t know how I will make the transition, but I am not going to keep this up forever.</p>
<p>NYMomof2 - maybe highlights, and lowlights of many different shades (therefore don’t have to be touched-up as often) and gradually going lighter and lighter to eventually match your gray might be one approach. And when you are ready to embrace your gray, how does your hair look up, or partially up? You will have a variety of shades, so avoiding a sleek hairstyle during the grow-out phase can be helpful. I feel your pain ~</p>
<p>Wonderful thread! I could write scads but will try to restrain myself. So far my favorite hairstyles are shrinkrap and dmd77. </p>
<p>My look: gray/getting white, deliberately disheveled hair; no makeup; head to toe clothing, usually all black. I’m another petite woman, carded at R movies until I was past 30. In my early 30s, a new foreign friend very cautiously asked my husband, in private, at what age it was legal for American girls to get married. He seemed to think me some sort of Lolita. I love that now people assume I am older than I am because of the hair color… no wrinkles yet but I will definitely be embracing them when they show up.</p>
<p>I am aware my look registers as “witchy” to some and a few years back, for a Halloween costume party, merely added a tall witch hat to one of my everyday ensembles. My basic everyday summer wardrobe/uniform is four white cotton long sleeved, just above ankle length, button up the front, collared, Krista Larson dresses - paired with white stockings, simple black mary jane style fluevog heels, an assortment of straw hats. Victorian pearls. I am extremely cold natured. Until it hits 90 degrees I usually add some sort of jacket or wrap. In my mind, I’ve just stepped out of an impressionist painting. I understand maybe no one else sees the connection. Standing in the register line at Home Depot, a man recently asked, “what kind of nurse are you supposed to be?” I just laughed. However, shortly thereafter at the local food co-op, a different man tried to pick me up between flowers and produce. Perhaps he was an artist? </p>
<p>Pretty regularly, at parties, some sweet young thing tells me she has seen me on the street and want to look just like me when she gets old. I think that is a great compliment. </p>
<p>I feel very fortunate to live in a world where I don’t have to dress to any particular standard: no employer, no clients, no particularly very structured social circle. I can just do my own thing.</p>
I thought it looked great, but not a single person ever made a comment. Not even my DH or D’s. I was hoping for at least a “did you sleep well last night?” as I have a pretty deep furrow in my brow. Nope. It came up in casual conversation about 6 months later, and the family was pretty stunned.</p>![http://www.altfg.com/Stars/photo-actors-b/miriam-hopkins-bette-davis-the-old-maid.jpg[/url]](http://www.altfg.com/Stars/photo-actors-b/miriam-hopkins-bette-davis-the-old-maid.jpg%5B/url%5D){kind=link}
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