This reminds me of the movie Mississippi Masala. Anyone seen it? I enjoyed it very much. It has to do with a family of Indian ancestry that is expelled from Uganda by Idi Amin. (My father, who was a chemical engineer, worked with a man during one of the periods we lived in England whose family was also among the Indians expelled from Uganda.)
Oh, please! Let’s not pretend for a second that the choice for the overwhelming majority of American families is between being over-protective or risking not realizing their teens are building bombs in the garage. Besides, the families of terrorists absolutely knew the bombs were being built but turned a blind eye.
The point is that a blind loyalty to one’s own people/culture/community and an un-examined belief in their moral superiority is dangerous.
The notion that every immigrant community has to shed its cultural identity in terms of parenting just for the sake of fitting in is far more dangerous. My post was not intended to claim superiority of one community over another. The incident you shared seemed like an attempt to exemplify Desi parenting and I just presented an equally extreme counter example. That’s all. The imagery of Desi families we get from silver screen (Hollywood/Bollywood/Lollywood) are as fictitious as Norman Rockwell’s canvases.
Wow, so many straw men! Who said anything about shedding one’s cultural identity? The warning was about presenting an argument to American-born children of foreign-born parents that the parents’ cultural ways are morally superior, and/or people of the parents’ nationality are more trustworthy. Even if this is true or you simply believe it is true, when you put down the people/culture your children must interact with every day, you are putting your kids in a very tough spot. They do need to fit in to an extent and feel comfortable in this milieu because they live here now and this will likely be their permanent home. That doesn’t mean they need to give up their culture, but you shouldn’t breed suspicion in them about Americans or express the conviction that even the worst Indian or Pakistani is better than the best American. This will cause cognitive dissonance in your kids, because they will find much to like and admire in their peers and in the culture in which they are being raised. That feeling will be in constant conflict with their parents’ disapproving attitude.
I have three children who have attended a high school with a huge Desi population–probably about 35% of the student body. We’ve seen the same scenario play out over and over, so I am not getting my ideas about the kids’ discomfort from some movie. That’s insulting. Many Desi kids are being warned by their parents against associating too much with non-Desis for a variety of reasons–some religious/moral and some academic. Just a few weeks ago, my Indian neighbor said he wanted to take his kids back to India because he was afraid of the American culture contaminating them. What idea does that concept give his children of the world in which they must live and succeed?
Well, I learned a lot of new acronyms today.
D’s friend circle includes many kids of asian descent of varying degrees of time from original diaspora, and they’re over here a lot during the year. I’ve never heard any of those terms used.
I’m concerned about some aspects of American culture “contaminating” my kids (although I wouldn’t use that term). I think expressing the desire to return to a simpler time can be mixed up with the desire to return to a simpler place-even if neither of those exist anymore.
“American culture contaminating his kids.”
I really have to laugh at this because this parent seems quite out of touch with India.
American or western culture has permeated Indian society especially the big cities to a large extent and he would be quite hard pressed to avoid it unless he were to take them to a small town or village in India where he may not not find the educational opportunities he would likely desire.
I do agree that dating,wearing makeup and other such things may start a little earlier here but not everyone is doing it and it is not that hard to find likeminded peers here.
But…but everyone IS doing it :))
Seriously, people should watch “Meet the Patels” on Netflix. Hilarious movie in English about Indian Culture