<p>By “strangers,” I mean someone the host/hostess for this event doesn’t know or might not think of inviting.</p>
<p>I’ve gone to celebrations for people who attended my church or belonged to the same pool or whose children went to play groups with mine a LOT of years ago. </p>
<p>As I said before, my neighborhood has a tradition of open celebrations, so that’s where I’m coming from. We put up notices on the bulletin boards of the apartment buildings in the neighborhood and anyone who wants to come does. I wouldn’t want to do this and invite everyone to my home. So, I do understand where you’re coming from too.</p>
<p>His sister came to see me yesterday and seemed to be the only one in his family that feels the need to have any kind of service for her brother…which is a relief. She seemed very pleased that we are planning to hold a gathering for him as well…so many of the people that have worked with him over the years are really struggling with this loss.
I am hoping to have the atmosphere be one of happy memories and not too sad, if that is even possible.</p>
Why even try to create any atmosphere? I think you can just let that flow. It sounds like the memory base of your work group is going to generate many individual sweet stories and personal anecdotes that capture his essence. Loss is bittersweet. The people assembled may also need to feel sad because they miss the person who generated these good memories.</p>
<p>Something nice to offer is that if anyone knows in advance or discovers in the moment that they cannot read their own remarks, another person can read it for them.</p>
<p>We had a memorial gathering for my Dad at least a month after he passed away. We sang a few songs. Each of us kids said something. We asked one of our cousins to share a (funny) story he had e-mailed us. We shed a few tears and then shared lots of funny stories. We ate a lot of good food and had a very nice time. I’d definitely tell the family what you want to do and see if they are on board with it. If they seem uncomfortable, I’d do it as an office meeting.</p>
<p>We had the gathering for our friend this past weekend. It was bittersweet to see so many people that either once worked with him , or have been lifelong friends.
Overall it went very well and I don’t regret doing it
A few of his family members attended and one of his sisters was kind enough to email several pictures to me so that we were able to put together a powerpoint slide show that played all night long .
As odd as it was, our friend’s remains were with us too , displayed on a table with a candle and a photo guest book that my daughter made for him
Although his family didn’t arrange any kind of service, it was nice for us to have the closure we all felt we needed as his friends</p>