To hold the door, or not to hold the door...

<p>This has been bothering the %#^$ out of me lately. But it always makes for an awkward situation and I can't be the only person who this gets to.</p>

<p>I always find myself on campus walking behind someone who's going to the same building/door as me. I'd say, eh 40% of the time, we're close enough so that they can easily hold the door for me and there's no problem. However, seemingly more common, I find that they hold the door for me when I'm still like 25 feet away and I have to walk faster or trot just to get there sooner. Honestly, I'd rather open it myself than have to look dumb by speeding up to get there for someone else.</p>

<p>On the contrast, and probably more annoying, I never know when to hold it for other people. I try to be a gentleman and hold it for everyone, but oh too frequenty I know someone's walking behind me and that they're heading for the same door, but I'm deliberating in my head the whole time how far away they are and how long I'd have to wait and whether or not I should hold it and wait (making them have to trot) or just rudely close it behind me. Sometimes, if it's really on the fence, I start slowing down and pretending to text so that they can catch up and I can more-naturally hold it for them. Otherwise I adjust my walking speed slightly to line up when I arrive at the door versus when they arrive at the door to make the door-holding smooth. And sometimes, I end up ** not ** holding it when the person was closer than I thought.</p>

<p>..So my question is.. what's the "distance" you think someone should be away from the door for you not to hold it for them? And if someone does hold it for you when you're still kinda far away, should you speed up or let them wait?</p>

<p>Depends if your in a hurry as well. I tend to hold the door for someone if they are at least 5-10 yards away. If someone holds the door for me and I'm a bit far away I will speed up a bit and thank them. Sometimes it gets annoying having to hurry up when you don't want to but still thank them. </p>

<p>What is worse is going to a different country like South Korea where people just walk past by you without thanking you. I one time held the door for twenty minutes and felt like a temp worker at the department store. Every since then I never opened the door for anyone when I was in Korea.</p>

<p>I don't hold the door unless someone is close enough behind me that they would either be hit by it or have to immediately reopen it the moment it closes. I think that is all that makes holding the door particularly polite... it's not like it's HARD to open a door unless someone is in a chair or something, why would you hold it open if they're not close enough to you for it to really be doing them a favor?</p>

<p>What I usually do is open the door and push it back really hard so if someone is right behind me they will have ample time to pass through as well. Only if they're like 3 ft away though. Holding a door open for someone 25 ft or so away seems a ridiculous waste of time to me. Like .. it's not that hard to open a door...</p>

<p>It's useful for other things too, like hopefully it can provoke a thank you and you can initiate a conversation through it ;). Yay for making friends!
But yeah I agree, if they're within a distance where the door won't fully close I'd hold it</p>

<p>^What lunidud said.</p>

<p>It's more rude to hold a door open for someone when they're significantly far behind you (at least 3-5 seconds behind). This really pressures that person into walking faster, running, etc. Not nice. Hold the door open if the person's right behind you, and nothing else.</p>

<ul>
<li>If person is right behind me, I hold door open but usually go in first and then give a hard shove so they can get through</li>
<li>If I'm coming to a door and a person is leaving or coming in, I try to get the door and do the hard shove</li>
</ul>

<p>I've noticed many times people don't return the favor though</p>

<p>I usually just hold it open while walking until I'm a full arm distance away, then I just let it go. Never bother to hold it longer then that.</p>

<p>I can't even tell you how many times I have been smacked by people giving doors hard shoves" so it will stay open when I am TOO CLOSE. I would rather people just let the door shut if they're too far away/in too much rush to hold the door.</p>

<p>"I usually just hold it open while walking until I'm a full arm distance away, then I just let it go. Never bother to hold it longer then that."</p>

<p>^that</p>

<p>a hard shove may backfire on the person's face depending on door dynamics. Holding it open while walking is the best of all world's. Not being rude by not acknowledging anybody, not smacking anybody in the face, not having to hold the door and completely stop your forward motion.</p>

<p>Although i still think op is thinking way too much about this.</p>

<p>But really it doesn't matter. Social etiquette is overrated.</p>

<p>This is like the third or fourth thread on this, I thought. I had no idea people actually stop to think about these things.</p>

<p>funny how this happened to me last month, i was at the bottom of the steps and this girl was already at the top it was pretty far away but she held door open for me despite the fact that i was at the bottom, so my instincts kicked in and i sped up, i think if its far away and there doing it, you should be polite and speed up because they are holding that door open for you, you wouldn't want to take advantage of there politeness (atleast i dont), me personally i hold the door open for everybody (not a long period like i see some but as i open the door i always give it a 3 second hold/push) if there in good distance, if there not and i see them i atleast try to give the door a extra push as i walk by to atleast notify them that i see them & that i tried lol</p>

<p>This morning I was walking through a doorway and I wasn't sure whether to hold, but then the girl started running anyway. Oh well.</p>

<p>I just hold it open when someone at a reasonable distance behind me indicates they're heading for the same place. And if people notice me coming, they hold it open for me. -shrug- I don't really think about that much.</p>

<p>Hm. I don't speed up. If someone is dumb enough to hold the door when I'm that far away, it's their problem.</p>

<p>But I'm also the ******* that doesn't speed on roads where people habitually go 10-20mph over the limit.</p>

<p>If there's an awkward distance, I turn my head slightly and give the door a visible tap/push as I walk past. It's my "I don't want to make you run or to have to hold the door for an awkwardly long time, but I also don't want you to think I'm rude" gesture.</p>

<p>What peeves me more than people not holding doors (since that's really a momentary annoyance) is when there are clearly double doors, but people insist on using only one side.</p>

<p>I always hold the door for the next person, but I don't put myself in the position where I end up holding it for the entire class that is exiting. </p>

<p>I had that issue the other day. The guy in front held the door for me i grabbed it and looked behind and saw a classmate who wasn't too far and wasn't too close...but if I closed it it would have landed in her face. I hate the idea of a door closing on someone. So I ended up holding it for her.
Now if they are really far away then I don't bother, some even say in a friendly manner "It's okay don't worry about it..."</p>

<p>If I see someone far away and their hands are full then yes I will wait and hold the door until they can get through without dropping the items in their hands. </p>

<p>Nothing is worse when people don't look behind them even though they hear that I am behind them as my shoes make noise...and they'll literally slide through the door and the door shuts in my face. Irks me.</p>

<p>^ Pretty much this :)</p>