This year, I wanted boarding school more than anything. In some ways, I still worship the idea of BS. It was all I could think of and it was all that mattered to me more than anything. I was willing to put my goals in front of the people I loved. And I stayed this way until yesterday morning when I received news that has absolutely changed everything.
My favorite teacher (who I have mentioned in this forum once or twice) was in an accident. A very, very, VERY bad car accident. New England weather doesn’t care about those who suffer under it, and that’s a promise. She believed in all of us kids and taught with her heart and soul. She was the only survivor of the accident; she lost her wife of only six months and their best friend. When a couple comes to mind that had fairy tale wedding and relationship, it is hands-down the two of them. They were so in love and she even had a picture of them cutting their wedding cake as her computer background. She was married in August next to the country club near my house and now her beloved wife is gone. She is now a widow at 27.
She teaches history so it’s only natural that I adored her, but the last time I saw her, I was angry at her for not winning a History award that I had coveted; she instead gave it to the boy who I am extremely competitive with in class. Looking at it now, I was angry because it was one thing I couldn’t add to my application; a present without the perfectly tied bow. If I had known how much her life would change in the final five hours after I last I saw her, I would have never been angry with her; I would have spent my last History class with her for a very, very long time rapt with Napoleon and all other schemes we were discussing in class (I do this in class anyway, but I would have given it so much effort it would frighten my classmates) I was letting this process and the goal of prep school and ivy covered buildings and boys in sports coats get in front of people who loved and cared about me.
I still want boarding school, but I now know something else: Don’t let this be the be all to end all. Exeter is not someone who will dry your tears, Andover is not a person who will tell you they love you, St. Paul’s is not a friend to offer you a hug in your darkest hour. Please, don’t put schools in front of those who love you. I did and I learned the hard way that that is the worst thing imaginable that you can do.
Please, if you take one thing away from this tirade, let it be this: Put yourself and those you love in front of schools. Love unconditionally, study hard… But DO NOT let an Admissions Committee decision define who you are and how you act.
It’s. Just. High School. I promise you that.
