<p>CGM, I think there is some tipping point where the effect of Greek life on overall campus life is disproportionate to their numbers. Auburn, to pick a college out of the PR guide really fast, has only 18 percent of men and 34 percent of women in frats/sororities but Greek life casts a very large shadow.</p>
<p>Tipping point, excellent way of describing</p>
<p>At my Ds HS, sports is HUGE, especially in the spring, my D did try out, but was cut (long story)</p>
<p>Anyway, the school doesn’t have much in the afternoons because SO many kids do sports. So things are geared around sports.</p>
<p>This is hard because if you get cut, or have a conflict even one day a week,no sports, so everyone is busy, in their own little cliques, with little school activities available afterschool</p>
<p>With this much emphasis on sports, in the spring, it makes for a frustrating time if not involved, sure its easy, and my D did, to find outside school activities to keep busy and such, but its not HS, with all the other kids</p>
<p>If a college has so much invested in its greek programs, and its social life revolves around it, the fundraisers, the other stuff, and kids are loyal to frats and sororities, where they cannot participate in school wide events because the greek life takes priority over all, this is not the place for my Ds.</p>
<p>That large shadow can be difficult if you didn’t get “picked”</p>
<p>Quick thing… would y’all list your geography? I think that there is a definite geographic preference for or aversion to sororities… and that should play into a decision.</p>
<p>The sorority sisters at my alma mater were, in many ways, looked down upon as slutty ditzes. It’s the culture up North - good girls don’t join sororities. The opposite is true in the South - I’ve had a lot of people ask me what chapter I was in! My first reaction was… I’m not a drunken anorexic whore! Took me a while to realize that sororities mean something very different down here. </p>
<p>I’m in a rarified atmosphere - obviously, the only people I know from law school were smart enough and studious enough to get into a good grad school - but I do see a lot of smart, talented women who were in sororities. I’ve also met a few men who had fantastic fraternity experiences - about brotherhood and lifelong friendships, not about drinking. That might be the minority situation though - but if you can find it, go for it.</p>
<p>I’m from NE (from nonGreek parents)who pledged as a junior to a 15% greek campus (private). If I had been a guy I probably would have pledged as a freshman due to the disproportionate ratio of m-w. Women could get in any event, anywhere, anytime. My sister went to a large state school OOS and pledged as a freshman. My brother also pledged as a freshman to a different private school in NE which happened to be predominantly male. I do NOT know for a fact but I think said school has a large Greek presence partly due to dorm issues. My brother moved into the house when he started as a freshman and never had to spend a day in the dorms.</p>
<p>My daughter is looking to go Greek at whatever school she chooses for next year. In terms of % of total student body at her choices,GL ranges from 15-80%. Quite frankly it’s harder to get into certain chapters of certain sororities than it is into Harvard! And just like at the Ivies, the legacy hook doesn’t always help!</p>
<p>Coming from NE, I had the typical almost anti-Greek attitude with the usual mindset of I am not going to buy my friends, blah, blah, blah.</p>
<p>Due to corporate moves, we have relocated a bit. My membership in alumnae associations across the country have been nothing but beneficial. I also am involved in my university aa but my sorority membership has reaped more benefits in terms of connections. Many of the Ivies now have greek letter organizations, both male and female in addition to their eating clubs. It never hurts tohave double connections when you are setting forth on your new career or are simply relocating for whatever reason.</p>
<p>I now live in the mid-Atlantic region. I am an advisor to the chapter that is realitively close. Wonderful girls!</p>
<p>Aries, 25 years ago I was a member of a national sorority in Southern California. I recall a diverse set of very intelligent, ambitious young women who were not into drinking, hazing or group think, as some posters have suggested. It was a lot of fun at the time, and I’ve contacted alumnae groups over the years as I’ve relocated around the country. It’s not for everyone, but it’s also not the monolithic blonde battalion that some people think.</p>
<p>Our family is split. My older sister & brother rushed & pledged in their freshmen years. I rushed & pledged my freshman year but quit when the hazing was threatening my grades & emotional well-being at the end of 1st semester. The next year, the sorority was in academic probation & then folded! My younger sister & younger brother also rushed & pledged as freshmen. My youngest sister was active in her Christian youth group & my youngest brother joined a business fraternity or social club as well as a frat (I think). </p>
<p>At USC (where my son will be enrolling), there is some Greek life as well. Somehow I don’t see my son joining (he’s pretty shy & reserved & studious), but who knows?</p>
<p>Sjmom: sounds about the right geographic area for sororities to be respectable places.</p>
<p>AriesAthena, thank you for pointing that out. I am from the deep south (Mississippi) and continue to reside there (Alabama). In the south it is a networking activity and certainly not what has been described by CityGirlsMom. I was very active in a sorority in college and guess what I didn’t drink or sleep around. I served as president of my chapter so I was hardly an outcast within the group. I finished college and continue to grad school where I later received a Ph.D. Two other of the girls who were in my chapter have now received Ph.D.'s and one has an M.D./Ph.D. Several have gone on to law school and med school as well as on to pursue MBA’s or other professional degrees. In fact, one year we pledged two of the girls with the highest scholarship that my university gave (and only 4 people receive this each year total). </p>
<p>Every chapter on our campus consistently had a higher GPA than the all women’s average for the university. It was an embarrassment if the chapter GPA dropped below 3.0. We did community service events and raised money for charities. It was hardly the drunken orgy that has been described by many. As an adult in the south I find that I am often asked if I was in a sorority. I was even asked in a job interview once. As I’ve stated, it is a huge opportunity for networking here and not looked on as unfavorably as it must be in other parts of the country. Frankly I was shocked by some of the comments I’ve read here because I would never be associated with a group like those discussed.</p>
<p>A sorority or fraternity is just another “group” that someone wants to join. We’ve been doing that our entire lives - we have playgroups, and pre-schools and dance teams and magnet programs and sports teams and colleges and dance clubs and companies and golf clubs and community groups. And each and every one of them is a group that we’re interested in or validates us. The urge to be part of some community is, for most people, universal. We adults look at GLOs from the perspective of a rear-view mirror and how exclusive they can be. But isn’t everything viewed differently from that perspective? For our teenagers, it’s just another group or clique they can belong to.</p>
<p>Yes, my daughter is the one who had a tough freshman year rush and then re-rushed and joined a sorority this spring semester. It wasn’t her number one choice going into rush (she got cut from them) but she kept an open mind and joined the sorority that really wanted her. She hasn’t looked back since then and is happy and pleased with her decision. I just talked to her and she had just finished lunch at the house (she doesn’t live there yet) but she just goes over there whenever she wants - to eat, drop in, see the new friends she’s made - and they’ve made her feel welcomed. She participates in campus activities as a member of her house’s team and it makes her feel part of a group. It’s just a different group than the newspaper staff or a sports team or whatever. That feeling of being accepted is the universal one that most of us want and with a sorority it comes automatically with joining. It’s been great for her.</p>
<p>And from what I have read, we parents are in for the experience ourselves all over again when we head off to assisted living/retirement communities - I understand that the cliques there are just as bad as high school!!</p>
<p>Fredo, I read your old threads and was delighted to see that your daughter found her home in Delta Gamma! DG is a wonderful group with wonderful members. I am not a DG, but every Delta Gamma I have met was great.</p>
<p>For those of you who are so anti-Greek, nothing will probably change your mind. However if your daughter or son is thinking about recruitment, go to the fraternity/sorority national headquarter’s website and chapter website. Read the history, see the notable alumni/ae who have excelled in a variety of endeavors.</p>
<p>I’ve known maybe two people who’ve been in sororities. It seems so foreign to me. All the women in my family went to womens colleges, so I guess there really was no need to be in one. (and they didn’t have them, anyway) I guess if I’d gone to a huge, anonymous state school joining a sorority would be a good way to make friends…but I just have this vision of “Legally Blonde” and “Animal House” …the way the sororities were depicted there…like kind of ?? boy crazy and old fashioned. I’m from the Northeast, too, and sororities were not in the lexicon with anyone I knew. Even people who went to the state publics up there didn’t join…just a different mentality, I guess.</p>
<p>It’s important to remember that Hollywood is not real life. It’s purpose is to provide entertainment. I’m pretty sure that “Legally Blonde” and “Animal House” are parodies. They certainly don’t reflect my experience in a sorority.</p>
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<p>As the parent of a child in the greek system at the animal house school :eek: , I really must eat my hat because it was one of the main reason’s I did not want my child to go greek there (I told you there was another mea cupla coming).</p>
<p>I knew that her experience would be so much different from mine because she is in a national sorority that is part of the NCP and I am in a traditionally (NPHC) which is more focused on service. As I stated in my previous postings on this thread, she has found her niche of wonderful young women who are not slutty, ditzy, bimbos or any of the negative stero types given to sorority women. </p>
<p>She is still an undergrad advisor (as a large number of her sisters are UGAs),still commited to the community service she did before becoming greek, the experience did not turn her into hard core partier / falling down drunk or a person having random hook ups. Her grades (which were already good) are better since joining her house (I guess she does not want to be the one to bring the house GPA down). The senior women have done really well as they will be off Harvard, Yale, stanford, and UVA law just to name a few, almost everyone has been admitted to their first choice for med / law school, and others have some really great jobs lined up following graduation. She crossed over with a lot of her friends (whose parents that I have also met) and they are really nice people . while they are a cohesive group that like , respect and are supportive of each other she still balances and maintains relationships with her friends who are independent has not changed as they still hang out also.</p>
<p>I do think that the greek system gets painted using broad strokes as even in national organizations, the culture does vary from campus to campus.</p>
<p>I agree with Fredo, that it is just another group of friends.
At the end of the day, should your child decide to rush/pledge and they are living on campus, there is really going to be very little you (parents) can do about it barring pulling them out of college, they will find a way to pay their dues and other expenses. Because I told my D from the beginning that she would be responsible for the expenses connected with her greek life and she has upheld her part of the bargain.</p>
<p>As a parent, your best bet would be to read your campus newspaper, so you know how the greek system plays out on that particular campus; are they always in the print for having done something wrong, or are they getting accolades for having done many things right. Remember the saying (scripture): Train up a child the way he should go and when is old, he will not depart from it.
Unless you have spent the past 17/18 years just giving lip serive to your child rearing abilities, you have to have a little confidence in the kid that you raised.</p>
<p>The book “Pledged” is a very accurate account of greek life at many campuses, including SMU where much of it was set.</p>
<p>The book Pledged, was not indicative and totally off base in reference to my experince in sorority life (however author did make a disclaimer that she did not know anything about NPHC) . It is not remotely representative of my D’s current experience in her sorority.</p>
<p>But then she also does not attend SMU :)</p>
<p>The book opens and closes with Bid Day on the SMU campus. The rest is supposedly at a large, anonymous state school. SMU is private, religious, and not all that big. </p>
<p>The book is sensationalistic at best, slanderous at its worst. The author has written several supposed exposes of selective organizations. Sounds like sour grapes to me that someone wasn’t selected.</p>
<p>You can take it first hand, SMU is not religious. It has a seminary that is isolated from the rest of campus, but the undergraduate student body is very secular.</p>
<p>I can only repeat what others have already stated. The greek experience really depends on the individual campus. Way back in the dark ages, ( 1978-1981 ), I pledged a national sorority. My experience was nothing but a positive. My sorority traditionally had the highest gpa of any housing unit on campus, male or female. At my school the majority of the sorority members lived in the sorority house which was a college owned housing unit. I made friends that have lasted for a lifetime. It was a great experience and even at the time we realized that we would probably never be fortunate enough to live that closely with so many friends again.</p>
<p>I had one sorority sister who was anorexic, but she arrived on campus with that problem, and once we became aware of the problem all of us made a concerted effort to help her with it. This included sitting with her at dinners for 1 1/2 hours just because it would take her that long to get through a small meal, and we felt it was really important to encourage her.</p>
<p>My husband also chose to go Greek and has numerous doctors and lawyers among his fraternity brothers with whom we maintain close ties.</p>
<p>Greek life is not for everyone, but speaking for myself was one of the most positive aspects of my college experience.</p>
<p>Sybbie, I was surprised to see that none of the links you posted that listed the co-ed societies included Amarna.</p>
<p>Garr,</p>
<p>AS you see fron the links I posted, the sources did not include information on the co-ed societies, so please do not think that it is a slight to the,</p>
<p>The Co-ed societies don’t swept up in the sterotypes people have of fraternities and sororities. Yes they are alternatives to the traditionally greek system and from my understanding, they are open to anyone who wants to be part of their membership and pretty much local organizations whose cultures also vary from school to school.</p>
<p>Since you are a current Dartmouth student, you would be in a better postion, to talk to Amarna as you have probably attending their functions and know people who are part of Armana and the other
co-ed scocieties. So any information you are willing to share would help to give a more balanced perspective as a whole.</p>