Well, I am a male senior, whose school prom is about to happen in a week, and I am frankly a lot concerned with not going there; Honestly, I asked one girl way before so that I would not bother about it, but as I expected in some way, she basically said no (I am still wondering why I asked her even though I really did not know her…)Whatever, and this week, I have decided to go with a date; And three girls whom I asked could not make it with each different reason; One is going with her 8 girlfriends, another will have a family reunion in Sacramento, and the last one already found a date just yesterday.
I am a naturally shy guy. Rather than standing in front of other peers, I would like to sit backside and listen to what the other people talk about or to musics, but ironically, my friends range from jockeys and barbie girls to nerds…That said, I will have left some good memories in my high school even without going to Senior Prom. I am in a student leadership class (It’s where I could meet those popular students), and there, I worked for Winter Formal, set up Homecoming Event, and those experiences have a good deal of room in my heart now.
My question is this: Do you regret over not going to Senior Prom? I have been to Junior Prom, which is apparently not good for both of me and my date, and I found out that I am not a fan of dance. Still, I think Senior Prom mean more than mere dance event and Junior Prom…Is it just my thought? Or is it what it is to the most people? I am wondering whether the memory you will or would have during the Senior Prom would affect your life as much as other experiences like living on dorm. Basically, my problem is, I am really afraid of not going to prom would have that much an effect on me. What does Senior Prom stand for these days?
Not the audience you’re asking, but I’m a high school senior. My school is small and actually does not offer a prom. I’ll regret not having the opportunity of attending prom.
I was president of student council and cancelled our senior prom because nobody wanted to spend the money and we all felt like it was forced on us. That was back in the olden days. My oldest, a popular, super smart, handsome athlete with a girlfriend did not go to his prom last year because he thought it was silly. He’s doing great in college, still with the same girl, and never regretted it for a minute. You’ll be fine and a month from now you’ll wonder why you cared.
I went to my senior dance as they termed it back in the day with a girlfriend and hated it. I am female and no guys asked either of us. She dared me to go - I wish I had gone for truth instead. It was one of the most miserable nights of my life. Two of my sons didn’t go to prom and they have never regretted it. My D went to junior prom with a date and senior prom with some girlfriends. My middle son skipped junior prom and went to senior prom with three guy friends. My youngest is now a senior. He went to junior prom with a date. After some potential drama over inviting a 14 year old freshman girl to prom this year, he has now decided to attend with a male friend who graduated last year.
Go if you want to but, honestly, it won’t matter in a few months. You will have moved on.
I went to both my proms and have extremely fond memories of them. My junior prom was more special to me cause I seriously puppy loved my date. Our proms were not overly expensive and pretty much everyone went. It’s a nice memory.
A lot of people…guys and girls…go stag and have a wonderful time. From your post…there are at least 8 girls who won’t have dates for slow dances.
If you have any interest at all…take a chance and go. Have some fun, make some memories.
If you hate it, you can always leave. If you don’t go…you might always wonder.
I did not go to my Senior Prom years ago, because nobody asked me. Back then, people only went as couples. I was disappointed/offended that nobody asked me, but I actually didn’t really like other school dances much. So I probably didn’t miss much.
My daughter says that at her school, the only people going with dates are couples that have been “together” for some time. The vast majority go with groups of friends.
@homewithkevin - Can I say whether you go or not, I am super impressed that you asked those girls to go - that takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and risk getting a no for whatever reason. I do think a lot of kids these days tend to go as established couples and those not in that kind of relationship tend to go with a group of friends. Of course there is the first time date to prom, but my guess that is the one that is likely to go a bit sideways, cause a first date can be awkward enough in high school without the pressure of prom on top. If you have friends that want to go as a group - then go, and keep up the courage - ask someone to dance. As hard as it is to ask, it is also hard not to be asked. I hope you go, even if just to find out it is boring and leave, but you will leave with no regrets. But I really hope you go and enjoy it, or at least part of it!
It’s common at my children’s high school to go stag. My oldest took a date junior year and they went out to dinner as part of a big group. Senior year he wasn’t dating anybody and he went with several dateless guys and girls. He drove five girls home and I couldn’t figure out how they all fit in his vehicle. My younger son is a junior this year and absolutely refuses to go to his prom. He hates big noisy crowds. I doubt he’ll regret his decision. There is nothing wrong with you going alone or going with other guy friends. It sounds like you want to go. So go. I hope you have fun.
Two of my kids did not go. They thought prom was silly and not cool.
One of my kids did go and had fun, mainly afterwards. He spent a lot of (his own) money.
I find proms a little bizarre honestly, especially the promenade. For some, they are even a little destructive.
When you write about “popular” kids, I think you might be one of those who would be affected negatively. High school is so painful. I hope you can feel more confident in yourself and not worry about being popular or like everyone else. But these things are natural at your age: it will get better!
Prom won’t matter one way or the other. If you cannot go in a way that is pleasurable for you, make sure to do something else so you aren’t sitting at home feeling excluded.
Prom is one of those things that looks more interesting from the outside. It isn’t that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.
I went, many years ago, and had an okay time, not at all what it is in the movies. My brothers didn’t go and don’t regret it.
My own kids went in big groups of friends and did have a good time, but I think more because they were with their buddies (male and female, some couples but mostly just friends) than because it was prom per se. At their school kids went with their activity groups: band kids, choir kids, ROTC, sports teams. I got the impression there was an effort to include everyone in each group, like all the band kids who were interested would go. Other band kids would pull them in. One of my kids went as the date of an orchestra girl when he was a sophomore because of this include everyone idea. (If you didn’t have a group, I guess you were out of luck.)
Might be too late, but could you just go with some friends? A little group of kids who are dateless?
I went to several proms. My kids went to several proms. My wife went to no proms.
I don’t think any of us has any regrets about going or not going to any prom. But I’m also certain that none of us who went to those proms thinks it was an important or valuable experience at all. It was overblown, and therefore guaranteed to be something of a letdown. Everyone felt vaguely bad and inadequate for not having a better time, even though for the most part people were having an OK time.
If you would like to dance with some girls, and maybe get dressed up and look a little different than you do every day, and see other people all dressed up, too, if you go you will be able to do that. Don’t worry about going stag; that’s a lot easier than going with a date with whom you are not 100% comfortable. If none of that appeals to you, you probably won’t have fun, so don’t go and don’t feel like you missed anything important.
Didn’t go b/c no one asked me - years later, my three close male friends expressed regret that they hadn’t been aware enough to ask me to go as a friend, when they realized that’s why i didn’t go. (Things were different in the stone ages, and you paired up or didn’t go). Do I regret it? Not at all with the distance of time - but it did sting a bit at the time.
I did not go to my high school senior prom, and have never regretted it. I enjoyed my junior prom but we broke up before senior year, and I was honestly relieved not to have to pay for a ticket.
Son went to the senior prom during his freshman, junior, and senior years. He was asked by friends who were upperclasswomen for the first 2, and he asked his best friend when they were seniors. All of his dates knew he is gay, but they also know he is fun to hang around with. His best friend told him she would go with him as long as he would also go with her 4 other friends, who were dateless. He talked to the tux rental place and got six bowties - 5 of them in the different colors to match their dresses for the pictures, and then he wore a rainbow tie most of the evening.
Some of his high school time was not great - like anyone else, high school can sometimes suck. But he chose to make the best of it. Have fun, its only one night.
Whatever you decide, don’t waste any time on regrets later.
I didn’t go to mine, but if you can still go (even if alone), I would take the chance of going and trying to have some fun. I think you’ll be glad you didn’t miss out on this iconic senior moment in time.
BTW, my eldest student went to both Junior and Senior proms, and my youngest went to Senior prom. They were both glad they did. Great memories! And their parents were equally glad they participated in this time-honored tradition. But agree, it’s not for all.
Didn’t go. At the time it had fallen in popularity and was something that only a smaller group of students (the ones who organized the prom) would attend and along with others in established relationships. Many of us did something else that night.
I also want to say that I am impressed that the OP made an effort to ask the girls.
I made the mistake of asking a girl I was dating way too early. By the time prom rolled around, I didn’t really want to go with her anymore but she’d already bought her dress. On top of that, she was grounded for a month the night before and only allowed to go to prom, so she was in a lousy mood. Then she ordered steak and lobster for dinner and decided she didn’t like lobster after one bite. Fine. I LOVE lobster, so I took it home to eat later and went to an after party (put on by the school) until dawn. Got home hungry and looked in the frig, but no lobster. My mother got up.
Mom: How did it go?
Me: Lousy. I brought a lobster tail home, though. Can’t find it.
Mom: Oh, I hate it.
Me: What?!?! The whole thing?! Why?
Mom: I got up in the middle of the night and was hungry. Sorry.
Me: Women!
But I had to laugh. To do something like that was so unlike her that it was funny. It also capped off the entire experience. The only good thing about prom was that an uncle loaned me his fancy new car for the entire weekend.
Few milestones in your life play out like a movie scene, and prom is a blip on the screen in the full feature film of life. I wouldn’t worry about missing it. If you’d gone, you’d have spent a lot of money, possibly had a lousy time, and then learned that your mother ate your lobster. You have many more and better things to come. I promise.
I went to two, one with someone I barely knew so that he would have a date, one with my boyfriend at the time. Both are equally forgettable nights, in hindsight. My oldest went to two each his junior and senior years and the ones that he enjoyed were when he went with someone special to him at the time vs a friend. My middle has gone to one his junior and senior years with his girlfriend as part of a larger group. He had fun and doesn’t regret. I certainly wouldn’t encourage anyone to go just to say they went though. I forbid my daughter to go her freshman and sophmore years - the freshman that get invites also get reputations in our city!
I did not go to my prom; neither did my husband. We are no worse off for not having gone!
Our D didn’t have a date, but she went with a group of friends, and she basically thought it was kind of a waste of time and money.
Our S was stressed because he didn’t want to go to his prom, but everyone was trying to tell him he would regret it if he didn’t go. H and I told him that we didn’t go, and he decided he didn’t need to go … and 7 years later, he still does not regret his decision.
It’s just a dance. There is lots of life that will happen to you in the years ahead, and prom will be a tiny drop in the bucket that is life.
You have many more and better things to come. I promise.