To withdraw or to not

College Life
1

Hello. I am in a difficult situation right now. I am at a state school, and there are so many reasons to leave:

  • Classes feel pointless. I have a 4.0 and I have spent most of my time on personal projects / playing games. It was just one semester but included things like cal 2. Now I am in higher classes and it still feels pointless. I am weeks ahead from studying a little bit on MIT OCW for discrete math, for example. I do not mean to say I am just some genius. I am just a somewhat serious student.
  • A couple classes have been extremely low quality and the university seems reluctant to deal with it (literally ~1.1/5 star professors who do nothing)
  • I am paying quite a lot for in state.
  • Housing has screwed me over again and again. I have been forced into a tiny double room so far this entire year and they always make it sound like there's hope "soon" when I ask to move into a single room. Having a roommate makes me anxious, unable to sleep, depressed, etc. I am always on edge. I am extremely introverted and likely have an ASD and just want to be left alone to do my thing. The only way of having a chance of moving I now know would be to get a legitimate diagnosis, which would take weeks, cost hundreds of dollars out of pocket, not for sure even apply, and then might not even get me a room. If I am positively miserable I shouldn't need an expensive diagnosis and letter to be liberated.
  • I am over a year younger than the average freshman, so leaving this semester wouldn't exactly be a bad thing. I could also focus more on transfer stuff and get more experiences.
  • No library, e.g., on campus is open late at night. I am just sitting around being unproductive at my best hours.

The main reason I am actively considering it is that my current situation is making me extremely depressed, and when I go and try in and create a list of reasons of why I should stay versus why I should leave my “leave” list is abnormally long and my “stay” list is worryingly short. I feel like I am going through personal hell all for some credits that are virtually worthless.

Could I get some advice?

2

I read your post and get “depressed”. Your question should not be “should l leave” but “when is the next appointment at the Counseling Center”. Address the depression and then figure out what not to do.

3

I understand what you are saying and thank you but it remains a direct consequence of the fact of my situation. I do not particularly want counseling because I know why I am depressed. When I have my living situation to myself I am overcome with a wonderful tranquility and even euphoria but having to live with someone else gives me my current problems. Is it not, then, very reasonable to leave on the basis that clearly my needs cannot be met (and there aren’t many reasons to not)? Or would it mess up transfer ability too much? That is what I am torn about.

4

Have you considered transferring? It sounds like you may need a more challenging school.

Have you considered a private OOS (or in state) school?

If you have a a 4.0 average and you’re unchallenged and you find your situation a bummer because there aren’t good libraries, you may need a more academically oriented school, ones that seek transfer students who are high performers.

Look specifically for schools that will give 100% of need-based aid.Many of these small LACs offer nurturing tutorial-type environments with excellent academics. Several have decent numbers of private rooms.

Vassar – very studious students without being competitive with each other. Vassar likes transfer students who are high performers, also it gives good FA.

Kenyon

St. Lawrence

Bates – looks for OOS diversity and gives excellent aid

Colby – looks for OOS diversity and gives excellent aid

Bryn Mawr – part of a consortium with Haverford and Swarthmore and university of pennsylvania

Haverford – part of a consortium with bryn mawr and Swarthmore and university of pennsylvania

Swarthmore – part of a consortium with Haverford and Bryn Mawr and university of pennsylvania

Amherst (part of a consortium with Smith, Mt. Holyoke, Hampshire, UMass Amherst) – check all of those schools but hampshire doesn’t give 100% of need, I think. Smith and Mt. H are excellent, studious schools

Hamilton

Grinnell

Colgate

Boston College

St. Olaf’s

Wesleyan

Wellseley

Barnard

Macalester

Davidson

University of Rochester

Skidmore

Reed

Whitman

The Claremont Consortium schools – Pomona, Claremont M, Pitzer, Scripps, Harvey Mudd

Etc.

5

I also think transferring isn’t a bad thing to investigate. The line that concerns me in your post is, “I am paying quite a lot for in state”. State schools usually give their resident students the better deals in tuition costs, so the question is: does your remark mean you are paying too much for what they deliver, or you have budget constraints? Private colleges usually have higher tuition rates than state universities and give lower financial aid awards to transfer students. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, but it does mean that you should strategize your transfer applications. As well as looking at the privates, is there another school in your state’s university system that has better academics and facilities? I understand that being in a bad situation can make you feel depressed and often planning to change that situation can rejuvenate you. If you become paralyzed by your depression, seek help. Since you are younger than most freshman taking a semester or two off to reorganize might not be a bad idea, just make sure you follow all the rules about taking time away so future applications aren’t jeopardized. Best of luck!

6

You’ve had very good advice from the others. I will add to say that you have private health insurance which covers psychiatry or therapy. You need to get a diagnosis of ASD/whatever it might be so you can get your single room. Your self-diagnosis won’t get you what you want. If you just went back to school and can withdraw, I think that might be a good idea. Get yourself to therapy and get a diagnosis. Your mental health is the biggest consideration right now.