Today's college students lack empathy- "Generation Me"

Parents Forum
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<p>According to this study, todays college students are more self-focused and competitive than those of the 70’s (peace and love-- parents generation?). They blame in part social media and on-line friends. The article links to the “empathy quiz” (pretty transparent, but…) where you can see your scores compared to those in the study.
[Today’s</a> College Students Lack Empathy - Yahoo! News](<a href=“http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100528/sc_livescience/todayscollegestudentslackempathy]Today’s”>http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100528/sc_livescience/todayscollegestudentslackempathy)</p>

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So how did you score???</p>

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<p>I see it the other way, actually. Kids nowadays actively think about social issues and helping the community and volunteerism in a way that I didn’t see them doing in the mid-eighties, when Greed Was Good. I also think there is a LOT more sympathy / support / acceptance of kids who are “different” (whether that’s bi-racial, gay / lesbian, in a wheelchair, deaf, etc.) than there was in my day.</p>

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<p>Well one only needs to visit the college life forum to witness that trend, but I suspect that most people are more empathetic than they let on for some reason. It’s not “cool” to care. I would suggest that there is a difference between having the empathy to volunteer to raise funds for Haiti (or something), which one can put on their resume and on many campuses where social activism is expected it would contribute to social status, and caring enough about people in general to just be kind to those around you. I am heavily involved in activism at my school and know LOTS and LOTS of fellow social activists who put hours upon hours a week into their work and are downright cold to to the people right in front of them. Or hell, I volunteer at the Humane Society, and god forbid you ever have a question and need to ask one of the ladies that also volunteer there, because they are incredibly rude and will go out of their way to make you feel like a moron-- while they’re supposedly being awesome, empathetic citizens by volunteering! People volunteer for so many different reasons, I don’t think you can necessarily use a rise in volunteerism to indicate more empathy in general.</p>

<p>It’s an interesting theory about the rise in social media having a role. People of all ages do tend to treat each other like crap over the internet. I’ve never considered the possibility of those habits transferring into offline communication. That’s actually really scary.</p>

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<p>Or maybe not.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/17/fashion/17narcissism.html[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/17/fashion/17narcissism.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>I was in HS and college in the 70’s (more “disco generation” than hippie), and while the majority of the folks I knew were decent people we were not any more empathetic than the kids I know now.</p>

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<p>I agree.</p>

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<p>pizzagirl-
The study compared the empathy of todays college kids to those of the 70’s. We all know that the 80’s folks were a self-focused greedy bunch ;)</p>

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<p>I devoted my life to fighting the war in Vietnam. But I was an anomaly. It seems that from time immemorial we old folks have been descrying the morals and altruism of the young folks.</p>

<p>They are worried they’ll never be able to support themselves. Poor dears.</p>

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<p>s nowadays actively think about social issues and helping the community and volunteerism in a way that I didn’t see them doing in the mid-eighties,</p>

<p>Colleges in our area have a very high % of students going directly into the Peace Corps or other types of community service.
Both daughters took a gap year to do community service, older one locally, younger internationally ( plus she worked two jobs beforehand to be able to do so).</p>

<p>Parents my age ( 50’s) , were much more attentive to their children and valued their opinions than I felt the parents of my peers and my own parents did during the 60’s-70s .</p>

<p>Rather than making youth self absorbed, I think this has ( to use a phrase from the 70’s) made them further on their path to " self- actualization", and emphatic enough to want to reach out to others.</p>

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<p>I think there is a difference between being self-focused and empathy.</p>

<p>My children are very focused on getting into college. We, as parents, created that monster. Look at their college resumes, these kids not only carry incredible course loads, but need to be in sports and volunteer positions to just be considered.</p>

<p>That is the self focused issue aka competitive.</p>

<p>Empathy is a different ball of wax. You can be competitive and have empathy. Many of the competitive students are very involved in social work. Our children have worked in soup kitchens and Habitat for Humanity. They have volunteered hours at assisted living for Alzheimers and Relay for Life. </p>

<p>Did they do it out of the goodness of their heart or for college apps? Does it matter why they did it? What matters is what they walked away with. Our DS 3 yrs ago did Relay for Life for college apps. 3 yrs later and he carried the AFROTC DET flag in the Susan G Komen run because he was touched 3 yrs earlier during Relay for Life. </p>

<p>I don;t get how they can state that about college kids, when in the 08 election they had so many kids voting. Doesn’t that show they are tuned in more than any previous generation? Obama’s campaign was “spreading the wealth”, helping the unfortunate. This generation voted overwhelmingly for him.</p>

<p>I don’t see empathy in this generation. What I see is that this generation has had a lot of helicopter parents, always trying to swoop in and save the day.</p>

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<p>If you want to be inspired by the young generation, read this article about the senior class at Cupertino High School: [Cupertino</a> High wins Dell SuperProm contest; fundraising money goes to Kenya | abc7news.com](<a href=“http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/south_bay&id=7318988]Cupertino”>http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/south_bay&id=7318988)</p>

<p>They certainly trump anything my generation did, back in the day.</p>

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<p>My perspective…Today’s students don’t necessarily “talk” about doing things-they roll up their sleeves and do them. So, onlookers may not understand that empathy is what motivates them to “do”…Our generation translates that to the resume of accomplishments, while the students simply see solutions that have been crafted successfully. Very different sets of assessments.</p>

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<p>Back in the sixties and seventies, the college student population was changing drastically. Before that, college, particularly private ones and the highly selective ones, tended to be for the well to do families. Yes, we can still say that today, but the doors and population were quite different. Most of such schools now have about half the students on financial aid. Though legacy and, of course development do have a place in admissions, most students are accepted to such schools based on what the school needs that year, and diversity plays a big role. It became more of a mark of pride to be a scholarship student, then back in the days, when it was embarrassing. I daresay at some schools these days being a full pay gets a bit of scorn. Rich kid. </p>

<p>Another consequence of widening the pool of student going to these schools and more kids going to college is the sense of entitlement to go to college. It has increasingly become the thing to do. One thing that really strikes me on the CC boards is that so many kids are asking about where they can get scholarship and loan money to pay for college, and often there is no mention of them working several jobs, earning some sweat equity, and where are the college savings? You know, all of the birthday money, errand money, saved up over all of those years. All of my kids have a nest egg with those funds, less, I’m afraid, for the younger ones, but we have some money saved for them, and they have some money as well. I don’t read much about that these days.</p>

<p>The mantra seems to be that everyone is entitled to a college education, and they want theirs. Not the way it was back then. I knew I had to get scholarship money to go to anything than the one free school available to me, and it wasn’t anything other than a given. When my college letters arrived, I barely looked at the ones with lean offers. No weighing of Ivy vs this college or that. The scholarships were just as much part of the acceptance as the spot offered. And I didn’t feel entitled to those awards either. Or entitled to go anywhere. I knew I was fortunate that I had a free option since my dad was affiliated with a college program. Didn’t want to go there, but it was free tuition and I could commute to a satellite campus for two year. Pretty good deal that most folks did not have.</p>

<p>We want to give our kids everything and focus on them more than most parents did in our day. It’s not as though that makes kids grateful. They get used to that treatement and the expectations continue. </p>

<p>My younger kids assume that they will always have the right to go to CAthololic or other private schools. I can look right in the mirror to see who gave them that expectation. I’ve had them in such schools since they were in nursery school. They celebrate CAtholic school week at their school, their peers are pretty much all going to CAtholic high schools, what the heck else are these kids going to expect? I created those expectations. Just as they have certain standard of living expectations that we created in having a home like we do.</p>

<p>They are spoiled yes. I only hope that along with some of the more superficial and materialistic expectations, I have also instilled some values, empathy, in them. </p>

<p>My kids are unusual in our community in that they do have jobs, don’t have cars, and we have some pretty stringent budget constraints because of our nice house and private education. We’ve made that pretty clear to them. They know the scoop about what things cost and about what comes into the household. A lot of kids don’t because it is considered a privacy issue, and because parents don’t want to burden the kids with financial details. The big whomp of college costs is often the first expense that parents find they absolutely cannot shoulder, especially since it is for 4 years. Especially after getting the kid a car and being on the hook for the insurance and after paying for the computers, other electronics, vacations, privileges, school stuff…the list goes on. Though I’ve had mine pick up the cost for a lot of these things, they are still pretty spoiled materially. Though they understand our financial situation and restrictions, they still feel entitled to college, and,yes, I am the one to blame for that.</p>

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<p>Is the implication that empathy is a good or bad trait? Or is the article just pointing out a difference. </p>

<p>Life expectancy’s also up. Computers are more prevalent than they were in the 70s. There’s a million other differences. </p>

<p>I also want to throw the possibility that children of the 70s are more likely to lie than those of the 90s. Also, empathy might have been considered a positive trait back then, where as it’s more neutral now.</p>

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<p>As a high school teacher, I didn’t need a study to confirm this. I wholeheartedly agree. The biggest difference that I see is that prior generations were raised with more manners and taught tact. Their parents were more likely to be worried about “what the neighbors will think.” More students in this generation feel they can say anything to anyone and they were raised to feel “special” and entitled. I actually have had students the last couple years tell me they didn’t need to do something because “My Mom says I don’t need to ____ because I am special.”</p>

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<p>^Were you pointing out another difference (in support of my point)? I ask because you did not describe a lack of empathy, you just described someone being rude and lazy.</p>

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<p>After watching the political climate sour in this country for years, I am sure that many of us would score poorly on this. I admit that when an issue is political in nature, I do find it difficult to “put myself in someone elses shoes”, and I “don’t waste time on other people’s arguments” when I know I am right. But isn’t that what we have taught our kids through our own actions? Contemplative, rational people willing to listen to all sides are flip-floppers and wishy-washy, and staying the course (even if it is the wrong one) is courageous. As a nation, we have practically made intellectual a dirty word. I am a left-wing bleeding heart liberal, but when I took the quiz as if I was thinking of “peoples” not individual people, I scored as less empathetic than most. I feel that the wording of the survey felt very 70s. </p>

<p>Also, I think that with FB and other social networking, kids don’t have to second guess whate others are thinking and feeling. They KNOW these things because every thought, every action is documented and acknowledged by their peers. I agree that kids these days show their empathy by volunteering and actually helping others.</p>

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<p>[The</a> Rachel Maddow Show - For Geek Week: ‘The Empathic Civilization’](<a href=“http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/05/28/4383993-for-geek-week-the-empathic-civilization]The”>http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/05/28/4383993-for-geek-week-the-empathic-civilization)</p>

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<p>No question.</p>

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<p>You are absolutely correct. The pressure would have been tremendous to disown our son who is gay or at least to never, ever mention it.</p>

<p>The people I feel sorry for are those who long for the “good old days.” When you look at who had it “good” and the consequences for not fitting in that narrow mold, I am just amazed that people actually pine for a return to that. Thank goodness that mindset is dying out.</p>

<p>By the way, I feel sorry for students who have teachers who dislike their age group as a whole. I substitute at my son’s high school. They are great kids but there are teachers there who think they are proof of a terrible generation. The fact is that those teachers are burnt out and should not be teaching.</p>

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<p>…I don’t think it is the young people who lack empathy or a willingness to volunteer to help their fellow human beings. I find it is more of the “Retiree Generation”…i.e. the ones now vacationing in Florida, complaining about taxes, golfing, etc. that rarely bother to volunteer. I get soooo frustrated trying to round up volunteers for various outreach projects who are of the healthy retirement age…they are, literally, too busy playing golf. But the high school students and college young people are always more than happy to come and help!</p>

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<p>I think, in general, people are less emphathetic these days, as more people think of themselves and their family first than a generation ago. Just look at the folks in the drop-off lane in at the local school that pull up, park, and then get out of the car to walk their child in while 20 other families sit behind them and wait. If you ask the parent it’s easier for them to park at the curb instead of in the parking lot, why should they care if they are inconviencing other families.</p>

<p>Volunteering is another example. When I was growing up you volunteered because that is just what good people did. It was considered bad form to be rewarded for something people were supposed to do. Now you volunteer to get hours to get into college and awards. I’m betting those that put in the most time volunteering don’t really get awards, as they don’t keep track of hours, they do it because one does. To this day I still ditch the volunteer award shindigs. I didn’t do it for awards. I do it because that’s what one does as part of society.</p>

<p>I find it weird that in Florida the volunteers are apparently all the young people. Here in California it is members of the “Retiree Generation” who staff the polling places, run the charity rummage shops, and help at the less advantaged schools because they feel every child, even those that aren’t related, deserve a full education.</p>