Tomorrow is the day. Please grade it someone!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE COMPETITIVE IN ORDER TO SUCCEED?</p>

<p>People do not necessarily have to be “competitive” to succeed in life. Depending on the paths one takes, the qualifications and requirements needed to win depends on the activity. For example, athletes need to be fit, muscular, agile. However, a student needs to be intelligent, keen, acute. As Charles Darwin said in his studies of the Galapagos Islands, “Only the fittest survives”. </p>

<p>During the Great Depression, wrestler Jim Braddock, champion at heavy-weight lifting and boxing, demonstrated the importance of muscles and dedication to win the Championship games in 1935 at New York City. J. Braddock, nicknamed Cinderella Man, was kicked off his team for a while after an injury to his right hand. As a result of that, he had to live from minimum wages from working at the ports. Although not the most glamorous job, working there allowed him to regain the muscles he lost from his injury. When he was offered a fight with Boer, top Champion at the time, Braddock excitedly agreed. For weeks prior to the battle, he trained constantly to perfect his skills and punches. As a result of his dedication, he unanimously won the haughty Max Boer and took home the Championship Title. People, like Braddock, did not have to be smart, comical, or competitive to succeed in what he wanted to win: the Championship. However, what this prize did require was dedication and arms of steel. </p>

<p>In contrast, students do not need to huge muscles to succeed in their respected fields of study, but they do need intelligence, acuteness, and diligence. Shown in the world-renowned series, Harry Potter, it depicts a young wizard trying to balance his classes and his “extracurricular” activities. Harry is the only boy who was not killed by the villainous Dark Lord (Voldemort). As a result in this, he has to constantly battle the supporters of Voldemort (who constantly want to kill him). To succeed in battling dementors, sorcerers, etc, he used agility and fast-reflexes to win the game. However in class, he instead has to be keen with his answers, listen to the professors, and be aware of the boiling spells. During his school time, in order to succeed, he has to be intelligent and witty. Different positions in life influences what skills, not necessarily competitive skills, are needed in winning.</p>

<p>Depending on the professions, environment, conditions of the person, he or she may not necessarily has to be competitive or tough-minded. In school, being competitive may lose friends and teachers. Likewise, being competitive does not directly help one win a Championship game for a boxer. The characteristics of the person should be derived from the situations we are in, not an all-encompassing trait that defines all of us.</p>

2

<p>I’m not sure what grade I would specifically give it, but my biggest comment is that I completely disagree with how you’re portraying ‘competitiveness,’ especially with the Darwin mention. Darwin just mean competitive as in ‘able to survive and get necessary things like food, water, etc.’ Competitiveness is not limited to physical competition, but also to mental competition (like if one monkey has learned how to break open a type of nut will get more food than one who doesn’t).</p>

3

<p>You’ve definitely improved! This essay demonstrates proficient critical thinking. Not only do you take a side on the argument, but you also offer a more specific view when you say that you don’t need to be competitive, you just need to be fit mentally or physically. I would give it an 11 out of 12. </p>

<p>Your body paragraphs are solid, I would suggest working on the introduction being more catchy and, if you have time, the conclusion furthering your argument rather than merely summarizing it. Good luck tomorrow! :-)</p>

<p>@SusieAnne: Did you read her whole essay? Although she opens with the statement about survival of the fittest, she explains it in both physical and mental contexts. In addition, it’s not about if you agree with her portrayal. It’s if she argues it well.</p>

4

<p>Nicely written</p>

5

<p>Thank you all! Hopefully I’ll do this well on today’s essay portion d:</p>

6

<p>You will… when is it? you should probably get some sleep…</p>

7

<p>@Careful
“Different positions in life influences what skills, not necessarily competitive skills, are needed in winning.”
She puts this after discussing how Harry Potter has to use his wits in class. Perhaps I misinterpreted this juxtaposition, but I thought she was saying that intelligence and quick-thinking were not competitive skills, which begged the question, why being it up at all?
When I said I disagreed, I was unclear: I wanted to pout out that she brings up intelligence as if to say it is part of competition and “fitness”, then seemingly contradicts herself.</p>

<p>That’s all I wanted to do, sorry if it was unclear.</p>

8

<p>The only thing I noticed in your essay was, “Only the fittest survives.” It should be, “Only the fittest survive (singular).” Be careful with your subject-verb agreement. :slight_smile: Other than that, it was well written and I enjoyed reading it a lot! Good luck on the test!</p>

9

<p>lol. too bad the one I wrote on the SAT sounds nothing like this :(</p>