<p>There’s this guy who’s been giving me all the signs that he likes me: makes eye contact, stares at me with this sultry look for like 4 seconds at a time, laughs at my jokes, looks nervous around me, he even joined my research team which has nothing to do with what he’s doing. </p>
<p>He’s in his third year of med school (so he’s busy on rotation everyday) and just got out of a 3 year relationship a few months ago. His gf seemed to move on as she has a different bf now.</p>
<p>He knows that I like him, and he and I have been exchanging glances and stares and smiles for many months. I told him I liked him (may have told him too soon), and he didn’t know what to say, he was flattered, and muttered something about his personal life being tumultuous. And afterwards, kept conversing with me in a friendly way as I was going through the painful throes of rejection (or was it a rejection?).</p>
<p>I’m just wondering if this is worth holding onto because he seems so into me (based on the body language, but I know I can’t always depend on that), or if I should forget about him because you think there is no chance? Is there a chance?</p>
<p>People keep telling me that if he liked me he wouldn’t care what crap he has going on in his life and just get with me, but what do you think? Maybe he cares too much about our potential that he doesn’t want to mess it up right now? Or is he just not into me?</p>
<p>People keep telling you the answer, you know its true, and yet you come here looking for a different answer?</p>
<p>Any guy, no matter how driven and preoccupied, will make time for someone he cares about. Is there a CHANCE? Yes. It’s just exceptionally unlikely and you’d be much better served moving on. Someone will have some dumb anecdotal argument soon but as a guy with many guy friends, its exceedingly obvious if a guy wants to pursue a relationship with you.</p>
<p>I don’t know about that. I intentionally avoid relationships just because I’m so busy with school all the time, and I don’t really want to be distracted by it. This last semester there was one girl that I was always flirting back and forth with…and I think she was kind of waiting for me to ask her out…and I thought about it, but ended up not following through, simply because I don’t have time for a relationship right now.</p>
<p>OP told him she’s into him.
He said no thanks.
He still acts flirty so she says.
But she’s not hearing the NO.
Guys, if they are interested, go for it.
He’s not into the OP.
He’s a friend.</p>
<p>He knows you like him and he’s not reciprocating. Whatever the reason, he’s not available. The book “He’s just not that into you” says it more directly than the movie ( which perpetuates fantasy).
It’s about when women make all kinds of excuses for grown men, who are quite capable of going after what they want on their own.</p>
<p>This person graduated college with all A’s, did well on the MCAT’s and 2 years of med school. I’m pretty sure he knows how to use his phone to contact you, and he’s not. What you have with him is a friendship, not more.</p>
<p>This is advice from a married mom who wishes that book was out way back when I did the same thing, wonder about guys like that who were just not that into me. Don’t be upset about this though, because if it wasn’t a common thing to do, there wouldn’t be a book about it. There will be guys who will genuinely like you too.</p>
<p>I don’t know. I think it’s possible he just isn’t ready for any sort of relationship with anyone right now. Plus he may be hoping he can get back together with his old GF. I think you ought to try and forget about him for now. If you are thinking about him you may miss Mr Right. Or you could just bite the bullet and ask him out. Then you would know for sure.</p>
<p>The only way you are going to find out if there is a chance or not is if you ask him out on a date. If you want to know so badly, just ask him out.</p>
<p>People are making a lot of very generalized comments here like “if guys are interested, they go for it,” and “Any guy, no matter how driven and preoccupied, will make time for someone he cares about.”</p>
<p>That comes across as being quite sexist. Are all guys the same? Do all guys handle situations in the same way? Contrary to popular belief, not every guy in the world is a raging ball of hormones trying to jump on everything that walks by. Some guys are shy. This guy just got out of a relationship…perhaps he wasn’t ready to be in another one yet. Believe it or not, some guys have to actually heal for a period after a break up. </p>
<p>It’s quite possible that this guy isn’t interested in you, but from the way you describe it, it sounds like he might be. You’ll never know unless you ask him.</p>
<p>So basically that girl also should have taken my advice and moved on as well? You call the collective advice sexist, and then your anecdote reaffirms that course of behavior.</p>
<p>Exceptions exist, but the overwhelming majority of young, single guys of appropriate age will respond positively and try to move forward with a girl who is showing obvious signs of affection IF they are interested, even those in med school. That’s not sexist, its simply how the world works</p>
<p>Ask him out. If he says no, move on. If he says yes, well there you go. </p>
<p>Seriously, I’ll never understand why people get so angsty about things like this. I’ve never understood the whole “OMG! Does he/she like me?” thing. If I like someone, I ask them out. I’ve never been rejected though so maybe that’s why I don’t have anxiety over it. Meh.</p>
<p>Like where someone lacks the mental fortitude to tell you straight up no and they flake out instead? </p>
<p>“I’ll let you know because <em>insert excuse here</em>” (never lets you know)
“I’ll text/call you later” (never texts/calls later)
<em>etc etc.</em></p>