<p>I’m trying very hard to stay out of the college process that my brother is going through. He is completely opposite of me- not as driven or disciplined as I am. He also likes much more hands-on approach learning- take classes and read that really matters to him like spies and the marijuana culture in Europe. (can you hear me sighing over this??) Frankly, I just don’t support him anymore since he’s treated me horribly as a sister and doesn’t listen to my vetern advice.</p>
<p>He had a terrible junior year with a major letter grade drop that sent my jaw dropping when I saw the transcript. While it didn’t totally kill his overall GPA because he had consistent GPA for his freshman and sophomore years, it just raises a huge red flag for me. He did okay on the APs and the SATs- did very well on the math as expcted but not so on the CR. He has had a couple of jobs but his life revolves around hockey. It’s his #1 priority- even over family! He plays lax in the spring but that’s just about it.</p>
<p>Now he wants to apply to a couple of NE schools early action so he can feel better and know by January where he’s going. I think with his junior year record, he needs to put it off and apply regular so he feels up to the task and willing to pull out all shots this semester to prove that that GPA was just a blemish on his record. He’d be a much stronger candidate. Not only that, he wants to consider ROTC Navy… and look into schools in Scotland.</p>
<p>My parents see a good point in my argument about EA but my brother just wants to get the process over with.</p>
<p>How can I make him re-think about what he’s doing? He’s not applying to a huge range of schools as far as I know because at this point, he can only apply to big state schools and wants to stay in the Northeast. And some of these state schools, what I’ve heard, are pretty competitive. Also how do some of them treat OOS applicants?</p>
<p>Note to tickle: many boys are immature. Despite your best efforts, they may not learn through listening.</p>
<p>None of his options sound horrible. Personally, I’d advise that you let your brother continue on his merry path, crashing into barriers as he learns lessons. Be prepared though. At some point his ambition and testoserone may put him into overdrive. You could be very surprised about where he ends up post-grad.</p>
<p>For more ranting about boys, join the MOSs in SA (mother of sons). I believe we could accept you as an SOB (sister of brother).</p>
<p>Tickle - I think you should leave this between your brother and your parents unless he asks for your advice. Take it from this Mom - teenagers are not always receptive of well meaning advice from parents let alone siblings. Though actually I have noticed my daughter will now sometimes listen to her 21 year old brother and his girlfriend where her Dad and I ‘know nothing’. But it seems you have expressed your opinion - if i were you I would just say ‘if you want any help or advice on the application process I am here for you’ - and leave it at that.</p>
<p>What’s the harm in applying EA? He’ll either get admitted, deferred or rejected. If he’s admitted – great. If he is rejected, he’ll get the message and apply elsewhere. If deferred, he’ll have a chance to submit his first semester grades.</p>
<p>Don’t sell him short – he’s a different person with different interests than you, so what applied to you in your college search doesn’t really apply to him. If he is a strong hockey player… well, you may be surprised to find out what a hook athletics can be in the right place. EA also can be advantageous for athletes - the athletic hook can be lost if not played early in the game.</p>
<p>I agree with the others. This is your brother’s college search. Let him map his own way…with your parents. I would advise the OP to stay out of this issue.</p>
<p>There is not much you can do (or should do) about his applying EA. If it works out for him, he is OK. If not, it wouldn’t help to have ideas for Plans B and C. Plan B is clearly regular decision. </p>
<p>You mentioned that hockey (and lax in the spring) is his life. Is he trying to get a walk-on or scholarship at these big time schools? If he is thinking that his sports will help with admissions, that is true only for [bold]recruited[/bold] athletes. Yeah, schools like to have kids who play club hockey too, but it doesn’t play into admissions decisions.</p>
<p>I also wonder if his “wanting to get this over with” would indicate that his “slacking” is continuing and he is afraid of even worse results in the spring. For his sake, he just needs to put his head down (in his books!) and work on his academics. Not much you can (or should) about this other than being supportive. He’s got to grow up and his sister can’t do it for him (and I suspect Mom and Dad fall into this category as well).</p>
<p>Plan C suggestion. Perhaps a post-grad year at a boarding school might be in order, if he realizes he needs more time to right his ship. If he has hockey talent, it might help.</p>
<p>My son with a mixed bag of grades and scores applied EA to quite a few schools. At 2 of them they did not defer him to April but did send letters that they would not make a decision till they viewed the fall semester grades.</p>
<p>SOB - I love it - my DD will join you as one of those. She is Miss High Achiever, now at the prestigious school, and has the underachiever brother. Agree with the stay out of it, that’s what i told her. The best thing you can do is treat him as a non-sibling buddy, just talk to him about college life, what it truly is like, the things you enjoy, the things you find to be tough. Offhand, casual comments about the amount of studying, the concerns you have about after college - all that kind of stuff.</p>
<p>I’m beginning to see that boys hear and absorb more than you think, the moving to action is just not as direct, and as “mature” as it is with girls. Boys take more time.</p>
<p>I know that it’s important to butt it and just let him crash and fall as he goes along (which he always did when he was little). It’s really the way he can learn the hard way though I’d think after 17 years of always doing this, he’d find out how NOT to crash again.</p>
<p>He is a slacker- never brings home homework which drives me right up to the wall because how can any high school upperclassman manage to get 1-2 hours done at school when the actual workload is 4-5 hours?! We really do see things differently- we had a big debate over writing English papers about two weeks ago. I gave him the hindsight that writing about the novels is more than just talking about them, it’s about learning how to write with a style and analytiical thinking while he complained that he didn’t want to talk about books. Surprisely, he didn’t even relate to Holden in Catcher in the Rye! His opinions towards Holden was rather hypocritical…LOL</p>
<p>goaliedad- he plays hockey to relieve his stress, nothing else. He’s not a great player but he used to be so much better at lacrosee. Everyone around him is actually dreading the varsity tryouts in a month because he can’t play on JV and we really don’t know if he can make varsity and wouldn’t know what to do if he’s suddenly without a hockey team.</p>
<p>I’ve found that there are 2 kinds of slackers that most teenage boys fall into. First there are the ones who are just a little slow (behind the curve)growing up. They see their friends starting to move up and clue in and join their friends. They want the success that their peers are achieving, and were just a little more distracted with the other clutter in their lives until they wake up.</p>
<p>If your brother is putting the hammer down this semester academically, he may fall into the first group. And even without the sports hook, a PG year at a boarding school may be a good alternative, if the EA and RD results are disappointing. Gives him an opportunity to nail down some AP classes, some leadership opportunities and improve his GPA and test scores, so the schools see that he has overcome the slacking.</p>
<p>Now if he is still slacking this semester and is hoping EA is going to get him into a school before the wheels fall off (because he is goofing off), he is sadly mistaken. EA usually has more conditions (like specific grade requirements for both terms) than RD. </p>
<p>He would clearly fall into the second category of teenage male slackers, the ones parents dread the most, the slackers who wait for someone else (or something else) to save them from themselves. They end up sitting at home (after the rejection letters come in) and call it a gap year. If they are above average for this type, they end up getting a job at the GAP (pun intended) while they are home. They sit home and wait for the right job or other opportunity to magically find them and don’t seem to understand that the world doesn’t work that way. The next spring, when admissions yields the same results (why would they yield otherwise?), they scratch their heads and decide maybe college isn’t for them (next excuse). Left unchecked, these kids turn into that 30 year old living in their parents basement.</p>
<p>The thing that turns this type of slacker around is usually a sudden radical change in their life. This could be parents throwing them out on their rear end and they realize that GAP job doesn’t pay the rent very well, or they get the crazy idea that the military is a great way to see the world. And often, the military does start the process whereby this type of slacker grows up.</p>
<p>I hope that your brother is the first type of slacker, tickle. Perhaps not making the varsity hockey team next month will be the clue to him that his friends are moving on and so should he.</p>
<p>FWIW…I was a female version of Slacker Type 1. I got off the waitlist in AUGUST. My ambition didn’t kick into high gear until my third year. However, when I ramped up, I drove straight to the top in the space of a year.</p>
<p>As I said, don’t underestimate him. And try not to give out too many negative messages–as in “You can’t do this and you can’t do that.” When i was a teenager, I heard a plethora of those kind of remarks. A) They weren’t true–I did accomplish most of the so-called impossible tasks–with ease and B) In hindsight, many of those folks had no business advising me in the first place.</p>
<p>“He’s not applying to a huge range of schools as far as I know because at this point, he can only apply to big state schools and wants to stay in the Northeast.”</p>
<p>Has to be state? What about some place like Champlain, complete with hockey team? (though it has been getting more difficult of late.)</p>
<p>Have him check out Norwich University in Vermont. It’s a small private military college with options for ROTC, Corps of Cadets or civilian student status. The school is split about 50/50 between kids who are members of the Corp of Cadets and regular civilian kids. They have a nice intramural hockey program along with a great DIII team he can support (NCAA hockey is far too competitive for most hs players to transition to, with many players spending a year in juniors in Canada before entering college). They also evaluate the whole student and look for potential to succeed. Many kids blossom there.</p>
<p>BTW, my late bloomer (alo a hockey player) is enrolled in a PG program at a boarding school like goaliedad has mentioned. After only a month, we have seen tremendous growth and maturity and a new self confidence that had been lacking. Some kids just need more time. This can be a great option.</p>
<p>We also have a late blooming neighbor who has blossomed at Champlain.</p>
<p>ED2 is a nice option for students that need their fall grades of their senior year to support their admission to a competitive school.
Many of the NE schools have this as an option–application deadline is 1/1 but you hear if you are in by 2/1</p>
I’ll join the club!</p>