<p>This really has shocked me, so I just need to type it out. I have acquaintances on FB from my hometown as a group of people of wide age ranges post in “I Grew up in ___<strong><em>”. This couple was a couple of years behind me in school. Anyway, she has been so excited and cute, starting last fall posting a weekly picture of herself with a sign saying “I’m going to be a Grandma in _</em></strong>__Weeks”.
The grandson was born March 9 and passed away March 12. All I can glean is that it was SIDS. I’m just sick about this for them.</p>
<p>VaBlueBird, do you know where they live? Can you send them a sympathy note? It will make you feel better also.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t assume it was SIDs, that is more common in babies several months old, than a couple days. More likely it was a congenital defect.
Perhaps you could make a donation to the March of Dimes in their childs name if that would help.</p>
<p>[Pregnancy</a>, Baby, Prematurity, Birth Defects | March of Dimes](<a href=“http://www.marchofdimes.com/]Pregnancy”>http://www.marchofdimes.com/)</p>
<p>Yes, thank you.</p>
<p>I know it can be a real shock when a baby dies.
My oldest was in the NICU for 8 weeks ( she was 10 weeks early)
This was at regional teaching hospital who took on the high risk cases for the northwestern states.</p>
<p>About a week or two before she came home, I met a pair of new grandparents in the waiting room. ( I was taking a break from visiting D)</p>
<p>They were waiting to hear about their grandson who had just been delivered, albeit two or three weeks early. I tried to reassure them, explaining what procedures they do to check the baby out, how qualified the staff was & how our daughter had been born much smaller & younger & was doing well. ( I was very young & still didn’t comprehend how fast things change)</p>
<p>I went back to visit my D for a few hours & when I came out I saw the grandparents were still there, so I asked how he was doing. I was mortified when they told me he had died. 
I was absolutely shocked & felt so bad for them.</p>
<p>Iwork in an ICU for children, there can be various reasons why babies die. The card sounds wonderful. this is so sad</p>
<p>Having been through this personally three times, I can tell you that it is devastating for everyone involved. It’s unlikely it was SIDS at that early age. Please send them a card, or note, if you are able to, VABluebird. I know that they will appreciate it. I still have all of the ones I received and it’s been more than 25 years ago.</p>
<p>How sad indeed. And, alwaysamom, I cannot imagine. Bless you.</p>
<p>VaBluebird and alwaysamom,</p>
<p>I also experienced this over 25 years ago and have kept all the cards. Please send one with your own words addressing the loss of the grandchild. It was devastating when our firstborn child died, but having people acknowledge her brief existence gave me hope that this beloved baby would never be forgotten. </p>
<p>For people who have face the OP’s situation, these were the worst comments I received. ( I understood people didn’t know how to respond and did appreciate that they had the courage to speak or write to me while I was acutely grieving.)
you’ll have another baby-please never say that.
You have a little angel in heaven- I wanted my daughter in my arms, this was no comfort at all.</p>
<p>If this happens to someone you are close with, please sit with them, ask to see a picture, ask them about the baby, most importantly, let the grieving person say the baby’s name. Some people sent us notes or called on our baby’s first birthday, can’t tell you how important that was for me.</p>
<p>Or, if Vablue wants to make a charity donation, I could suggest making it to her own community, or the community of the parents, rather than to a big national charity.</p>
<p>I sent the grandparents a message on FB. This is my only contact with them these days.</p>