<li>I didn’t know you would have school work in college.</li>
<li>There is a drunk, homeless person sleeping on my porch.</li>
<li>There is a casino 45 minutes away.</li>
<li>Students don’t go to class.</li>
<li>You know that summer job or internship, forget that. My friends and I are going to spend the summer goofing around and driving cross country.</li>
<li>I might not graduate in 4 years.</li>
<li>I only get drunk 2 or 3 times a week.</li>
<li>Which birth control is 100% effective?</li>
<li>Everybody does it.
And the Number 1 thing…</li>
<li>I need money.</li>
</ol>
<p>Also:</p>
<p>“Can’t wait till next semester. Just finished doing my schedule…no Friday or Monday classes! And Tuesday I don’t start till noon!”</p>
<p>i think dstark is my mom.</p>
<p><em>scared</em></p>
<p>Does she have a reason to be scared?</p>
<p>“I turned down the $1000/week summer internship offer from <<<fill in=”" fortune=“” 100=“” company=“” name=“” here=“”>>> because Corporate America is boring :eek: (yes-- this REALLY happened!!)</fill></p>
<p>“I’m planning on being a professional poker player when I graduate.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t I tell you that I dropped that class?”</p>
<p>“I’ve never met with an advisor in my major–I can figure it out myself.”</p>
<p>All true.</p>
<p>Well, Garland, my daughter is coming home tomorrow and one of the first things my son and daughter are going to do is go to an Indian Casino and play poker. My son is planning on winning enough to pay for a Mexican vacation. :)</p>
<p>Has your son thought about a career on Wall Street? Similar action. A little more secure. A lot more prestige. 
I know. I know. You are not into prestige. He is at Columbia, after all. Close to Wall Street.</p>
<p>Most of the poker players that are seen on tv didn’t have a pot to p*** in until the poker craze hit.</p>
<p>Don’t they make you wear ties and stuff? Can’t picture it; he’d have to cut his hair, too. And the hours, nahhh.</p>
<p>No they don’t. Depends on what part of Wall Street. If he is a trader, the hours are great. </p>
<p>Don’t pooh pooh it. </p>
<p>I actually know what I am talking about. :)</p>
<p>Well, it’s his life, but so far, even being so close, he hasn’t shown any interest. I’ll keep you posted if that changes.</p>
<p>All the traders I know did wear suits and ties, though.</p>
<p>I did have a homeless drunk sleeping on my front porch for a few days…</p>
<p>I have a few (although I don’t have my own college student yet, I used to be one):</p>
<p>“Did you remember to renew my car insurance?”</p>
<p>“I’m taking spring quarter off to work at Radio Shack.”</p>
<p>… and the winning third-year true story…</p>
<p>“Melinda and I have decided to get married!”</p>
<p>“Melinda and I have decided to get married!”</p>
<p>Forgot about that one. Hope that doesn’t happen. :)</p>
<ol>
<li><p>“I’m not going to take any more policy classes. I’m only going to take classes that have a history component. Otherwise, I am not learning anything I don’t already know.”</p></li>
<li><p>“I think I’d like to do immersive Arabic in Morocco.”</p></li>
<li><p>“I’m sure my advisor IS a world famous scholar but he’s bloody intimidating.”</p></li>
<li><p>“Do I have to come home for Christmas?” <em>sniff sniff from mum</em></p></li>
<li><p>“Oh I forgot to tell you–I lost my bank card again.”</p></li>
<li><p>“I don’t have any idea why they gave me a $1000 bonus. I’m afraid to ask.”</p></li>
<li><p>“I got an A+ on my 15 page paper–there’s no WAY I would have gotten an A+ at ____ (his regular grade-deflating university).”</p></li>
<li><p>“I walked into the bar–and there was _____, sitting with his cousin and 11 other beautiful girls.”</p></li>
<li><p>“She kissed me last night but now she’s denying it.”</p></li>
<li><p>“Love you too–”</p></li>
</ol>
<p>All true, all within the last few weeks…</p>
<p>my parents sure loved this one from their third-year daughter:</p>
<p>“hey my wrist is swollen. i think i fractured it.”
“how?”
“oh i was at a fraternity formal last night.”</p>
<p>which doesn’t actually answer HOW it happened… good god.</p>
<p>bluestar… lol!!</p>
<p>This from my second-year student:</p>
<p>“Mom, I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve decided to graduate next December.”</p>
<p>…which makes him, gulp, a 3rd year student now. (just add water, I guess)</p>
<p>Well, any of this is better than any three things your ten-year college student tells you!</p>
<p>A few things from yours truly:</p>
<p>“Berkeley…eh.”
“Columbia…eh.”
“I’m moving to Japan this summer.”
After I get back…
“I’m sick of campus. I’m moving to DC.”
After I get back…
“Take a regular 9 to 5 job with the CIA, who offers great benefits and the promise of lifetime employment? Eh…I think I’m going to move back to Japan.”</p>
<p>Other gems…</p>
<p>“I’ve decided I’m not going to law school.”</p>