<p>“Why do you like our school?” This essay topic always gets me stuck. The only reason I like a college and want to attend it is the level of academic programs they offer… and 90% of my preferences are based on their rankings on US News.</p>
<p>So recently, I was placed on the University of Pennsylvania’s waitinglist, and Penn is my #1 dream school, so I am trying to gather ideas to write my letter of intent to its admission office.</p>
<p>I applied to Penn’s nursing school. In the letter of intent, I want to list the reasons why Penn Nursing is essential to my life.</p>
<p>The real reasons why I like Penn:</p>
<ol>
<li>My brother and sisters both are attending Penn, so if I go, I would feel a sense of unity.</li>
<li>Penn offers generous financial aid, and my family lives in poverty</li>
<li>It is #5 national university, an ivy league school, and has #1 nursing and business school.</li>
<li>It offers an opportunity for dual degree in nursing and management</li>
<li>Since I like helping people, I want to enroll in a top nursing program to maximize my knowledge and ability to help others.</li>
</ol>
<p>Although these are my real reasons, I am not sure if I should put all of them into my letter of intention, because some of them might not be good for me to mention.</p>
<p>In my essay, I have to convey why Penn is a perfect fit and essential for me, and without it I would not be able to live the same way.</p>
<p>What ideas do you have for me so I can make it sound like Penn is absolutely crucial for my life (in a way it’s true, but I don’t know how to put it)? What do you like best about Penn? What would you put in your letter of intention?</p>
<p>These essays are always tricky. They basically want you to pour compliments onto their school without sounding like a brown noser. Do your best to highlight all the reasons you love Penn, but without sounding like you’re kissing any rear end. These kinds of essays are best written over a long span of time so that you have plenty of time to edit it and refine your prose. Blow them away with your beautiful writing and keep the essay personal. Saying you just like them because of their rank won’t win you any brownie points (it’s also an incredibly poor method of choosing a college, but that’s a different discussion.)</p>
<p>Focus your argument on the academic factors: #1 nursing and business school and opportunity for dual degree in nursing and management</p>
<p>You can’t get that combination of majors many places, and even if you can, the quality of those two programs is not at all the same as they are at Penn.</p>
<p>If I were you, I’d focus on #4, mention #5, and maybe throw in something about #1 and #2 if you’re good at professional-style guilt tripping. I would totally get rid of point #3 because that’s the type of thing that everyone says and nobody wants to hear.</p>
<p>Stay away from things that they already know about their own school. You don’t need to sell Penn to Penn. You need to sell MasterJan to Penn.</p>
<p>Focus on you, and what you bring to the department, and what Penn will offer you that you cannot get elsewhere (such as the dual degree in nursing/management, or a few specific instructors or classes you want to take), and what you plan to do with what you learn at Penn.</p>
<p>Your #1 and #2 reasons are nice for you, and can be mentioned if done appropriately, but not really relevant to Penn.</p>
<h1>3 is unimportant; they already know this and they know you know it</h1>
<p>In addition to what the other have said, dont try and make them think you wont be able to live if you dont go to Penn. Thats a little excessive. Just try and establish why you are a good fit for the school and how your skills and talents mesh well with the university.</p>
<p>mtpaper’s post is an excellent one. Really, that’s some of the best advice I’ve ever heard for writing a “why-this-school” essay.</p>
<p>What I will add is that unless you applied for the Nursing and Health Care Management dual degree program, it might be a little too late to say that the opportunity to pursue a dual degree is why you want to go to Penn. Saying that taking management classes in the world’s premier undergrad business school might be a better idea. Pursuing a non-coordinated dual degree at Penn is harder than the administration makes it sound, but access to Wharton without actually being enrolled there is something that is unique to Penn.</p>
<p>Also, as mtpaper says, Penn knows that they have top-ranked nursing and business undergraduate programs. They also know that you can get a nursing degree at another university. In addition to what Penn’s academics mean to you, I would make it a point to mention what it is about the location, the extracurriculars, or the community that has attracted you to Penn Nursing as opposed to the second-ranked nursing school. </p>
<p>In my “Why Penn?” essay, I wrote that I was interested in lesser-populated concentrations like the one in Social Impact and Responsibility. I think that this likely contributed to my acceptance because Wharton (specifically Wharton among the undergrad schools) is trying to branch out from it’s reputation as a strictly finance school, and a non-finance concentrator like me will help them get into other sectors of business once I graduate. </p>
<p>Penn wants to know how it will benefit you, but they also want a return on their investment. Do some research on some of Penn’s current initiatives and if one of them appeals to you, write how you think you would be able to contribute. Most top schools are interested in the new(-ish) environmental movement; if you’re passionate about going green and can somehow relate that to your nursing interests, do it!</p>
<p>Lastly, Penn Nursing is the smallest of the four undergraduate schools and I’m thinking that it probably has quite a high yield, especially considering that around half of the class is accepted Early Decision. That reduces Penn’s need to go to the waitlist to fill the Nursing class. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to go to Penn with your siblings or to make this essay perfect. Getting in off the waitlist is definitely not a sure thing and while a great letter of intent might help your cause, it also might not. Que sera sera, right? There are other fantastic schools out there that would be lucky to have as earnest a student as you.</p>