I have two older brothers, and the one closest in age to me was very, very difficult to be around when we were growing up. Vocally opinionated, and harshly critical. It was a relief when we did not live under the same roof any longer.
As it turns out, this brother was eventually diagnosed with a serious mental illness. 30 years later, we are not in contact very often, probably because our parents passed away years ago, and without parents, it can really change the dynamics in a small family.
I think it’s good advice to swim in your own lane. Put your efforts into taking care of your own life, and try to set aside the urge to judge and disapprove. Wasted energy.
Actions speak louder than words. Enjoy and thrive in your new college.
@Midwest67 brought up something along the lines of what I’ve been wondering about, but not mental illness.
Reading all the OP’s posts, I just kept thinking autism spectrum.
He is fixated on Brown.
He is not relating to others well.
He is highly intelligent and well-educated but does not have a job.
His parents are supporting him…perhaps because they recognize that he is not able to manage on his own and feel they have no choice. It could be more challenging if he were home.
One of these things alone would be in the realm of “normal stuff” but all together might be indicative of what used to be called Aspergers.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
You are allowing your brother to have some control over your life. Examine yourself and figure out why you allow him this control and then change it. I know it sounds overly simple but once you understand this, you remove his power over you. Learn to please yourself, life will be much easier for you and you can accomplish your goals.
I totally agree with @MACmiracle I was reading through this thread and I was going to suggest same. I am pretty experienced with autism spectrum and the negative feedback (negative everything) and fixation on Brown are classic autism responses. For the original poster do a little research on autism mainly Aspergers (its the same…long story but tends to focus on higher functioning). If it seems similar to your brother it might help you understand his responses. I have two Ds. One is typical and the other on the spectrum. We have to parent each differently as you can imagine. Without the diagnosis I think my typical kiddo would really struggle understanding our family dynamics. The diagnosis has been helpful for everyone. Also too my older sibling is on the spectrum. We shared a room for my entire childhood. I can really relate to what you are going through. My sibling was diagnosed as an adult and things I was angry and frustrated about throughout my life about my sibling completely changed when I understood she could only function that way and was untreated and living in a world that did not understand her. Best of luck to you. You sound like a really bright person with a lot of potential! Go for it!
"Reading all the OP’s posts, I just kept thinking autism spectrum.
He is fixated on Brown.
He is not relating to others well.
He is highly intelligent and well-educated but does not have a job.
His parents are supporting him…perhaps because they recognize that he is not able to manage on his own and feel they have no choice. It could be more challenging if he were home.
One of these things alone would be in the realm of “normal stuff” but all together might be indicative of what used to be called Aspergers."