Transferring Back to Old School?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hey everyone! I posted this thread on the transfer student page, but I’d also like to get some parents’ perspectives as well.</p>

<p>Since I’d prefer to remain anonymous, I’m going to be talking about Schools A and B. For purposes of context, School A is in between 75-100 on USNWR, while School B is in the top 25.</p>

<p>The short version: </p>

<p>I attended School A my freshman year, transferred to School B, didn’t like it, and am now considering going back to School A next semester. However, my parents think I am making a huge mistake. Am I?</p>

<p>The long version:</p>

<p>When I first applied to colleges, it didn’t go too well; come April, I had only been admitted to one of my safety schools, which I’ll call School A; it had been the last school on my list. At the time, I thought that School B (which I currently attend) was my dream school, and I, along with my family and friends, was crushed that I hadn’t been admitted. I had no other choice than to give School A a chance; however, it didn’t take more than two or three weeks on campus for me to come to the conclusion that being admitted to School A was actually a blessing in disguise. Aside from taking some interesting classes, it also didn’t take long for me to become passionate about other activities outside of the classroom and make some great friends, and I really felt like I belonged and was making a positive impact.</p>

<p>Despite my change of heart, in a way I felt like I owed it to my parents to give it one more shot and apply to transfer to School B. To my surprise, not only was I accepted, but I also received a surprisingly generous financial aid package (on par with School A), and it seemed like an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. My parents also strongly encouraged me to transfer, thinking that School B’s reputation would help me land a better job after graduating.</p>

<p>Throughout the following summer, though, I had a nagging feeling that I was making a mistake, and my fears that I had made the wrong decision were confirmed after I got to School B last fall. As a transfer student from the Midwest receiving significant financial aid, I was already an outlier in more ways than one; however, there were other ways in which I truly felt like I didn’t belong at School B. In contrast to most of my classmates at School A, almost everyone I met at School B was excessively ambitious and career-driven, primarily focused on his or her own life and resume rather than on improving the lives of others. Many people were confused about why I attended Mass every Sunday, and others didn’t understand why I used my free time for volunteer activities instead of pursuing an internship. More than one student actually summed up their life goals for me by stating, “I just want to make a lot of money.” (I want to be careful here and add that it’s not my intent to bash School B or suggest that everyone - or even anyone - at School B is a bad person; I just have fundamentally different goals than the majority of my fellow students.)</p>

<p>As far as this semester goes, I am currently studying abroad in Argentina. While I thought I was really excited to study abroad for the experience itself, I also realized that part of this anticipation was actually relief that I would be away from School B for some time. Several months ago, I submitted an application for re-admission to School A, was accepted for next semester, was ultimately re-awarded the scholarship I had earned upon being admitted as a freshman, and was told that I would still be able to graduate on time.</p>

<p>Now comes the hard part; I’ve told my parents all of this, but they are convinced I’m making a huge mistake if I transfer back to School A. From their perspective, it doesn’t really matter how I feel about School B; they strongly feel that School B’s reputation will definitely give me a leg up when it comes to getting a job and that I should just tough it out for a couple more years. They think that if I go back to School A, not only will I not find a job (since it’s not as well-known), but that I’ll also ruin my resume forever (their words, not mine) since it will look like I can’t commit to decisions I’ve made. Finally, they also think it will give the impression that I just couldn’t cut it at School B (although in my defense, I averaged a 3.7 there).</p>

<p>In a way, I’m offended that they seem to be putting so much faith in an institution and so little in me; they really think I won’t be successful (or at least, as successful) at School A. But at the same time, I understand some of their points and know that they only want the best for me. So I guess I’m here because I’m wondering - what do other parents think? Will employers and/or graduate schools really look that unfavorably on my situation? Or are my parents putting too much weight on reputation? Should I just stay at School B for the better academics/reputation, regardless of how I feel about it?</p>

<p>Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer!</p>

2

<p>I’m only going to speak to the resume portion of your question. Any potential employers will never know about your situation because you don’t include interim colleges. LOTS of people transfer for different reasons. Some even transfer out and back again. Employers will only care about your degree and the school from which you earned it.</p>

3

<p>I read about a student who transferred from Brown to Harvard and happily back again. I guess it depends a little bit on the school and your major and your opportunities for the major and your goals. But in a general situation like you describe, I say to transfer back. You have experienced both and know what you like. I’m sure at school A you will find students who are interested in the biggest paycheck, though. I think your parents are putting entirely too much stock in the name reputation of school B for your future. You are very fortunate that you have rec’d these generous transfer packages.</p>

4

<p>If you were my kid…I would allow you to transfer back. You gave the “parent choice” a try…and prefer YOUR choice. There is something to be said for being happy with life at college.</p>

5

<p>I knew a couple of people in undergrad who transferred away from my school only to transfer back and graduate. Personally, I thought it spoke well of my school. :)</p>

6

<p>I was going to tell you to tough it out, but you’ve already applied and been accepted with scholarship so nvm.</p>

<p>Your parents are talking down School A, but are they actually going to stop you? </p>

<p>If not, go do it.</p>

7

<p>I think kids put too much faith in a higher ranked college equally higher job opportunities. Go where you will be happy and thrive…only the college you graduate from will be listed on your resume.</p>

8

<p>Isn’t there a study somewhere that shows that a student of the calibre to be accepted by Harvard does about the same in terms of lifetime earnings as a student who actually attended?</p>

<p>The bottom line was that if you are a smart, hardworking and ambitious, it doesn’t matter much which school you attend.</p>

<p>I should also add that my daughter just graduated in May from a “lesser” school and was employed within four months at a great entry level job.</p>

9

<p>OP - I’m not sure I follow, particularly with the studying abroad angle. What are you now, a sophomore or junior? How many semesters have you spent at School B? You would go back to School A when? As what?</p>

10

<p>It sounds to me as if s/he is spending the first semester of his/her junior year abroad, and can transfer back to School A for second semester, junior year.</p>

11

<p>Ukie- just for a second, take your parents view here.</p>

<p>You spent a year in School A. You spent an unhappy year in School B. You are now at School C, away from both School A and School B.</p>

<p>You are assuming that going back to School A is the solution to your misery at School B. You may well be right.</p>

<p>But you may be wrong. Your friends may all be on their semester’s away (or have taken the entire junior year to go abroad). All the things you found wonderful as a Freshman may now seem too limiting once you are back from your own overseas adventure. Etc.</p>

<p>So perhaps your parents just want you to settle down and graduate… without the constant churn of moving, changing, etc.</p>

<p>Possible?</p>

<p>And is it possible that by just going back to School B you can dig in, find a peer group, and finish?</p>

12

<p>Thanks Fendrock. In that case I’m voting with the parents. Not on the jobs stuff, because I have nothing to say on that. However, I’m not convinced, OP, that your reasons as stated here, are compelling. So, you’ve come across students you have very little in common with. I’m sure they don’t make up 100% of the student body. If you made the effort I’m sure you could find a community you could relate to. For instance, I don’t think you are the only person who attends mass on Sunday, and you are not the only person who volunteers. You are giving too much power to the one or two people who do not share your values and I don’t understand why. If your GPA is 3.7 at a more challenging school like B, I can’t find any reason for you not to stick it for another couple of semesters. Use this time in Argentina to reprogram your brain to see more of School B’s positives.</p>

13

<p>Thanks for all of your input everyone! Does anyone else have any thoughts they would care to share?</p>

14

<p>Well…what’s the difference in prestige between A and B? How good a school is A? (Ducking flamethrowers.)</p>

<p>If you went to UMichigan-AA, left for Harvard, and want to go back to UMich, I’d let you.</p>

<p>If you went to Roger Williams, transferred to Wellesley and wanted to go back, I’d oppose it. I’m NOT saying that there is something “wrong” with RWU; it’s just that I do think the quality of the education at Wellesley is better. </p>

<p>I’m also not sure you can go back to School A and graduate on time. Are you sure you can?</p>

15

<p>Whether School A vs. School B matters for jobs and careers depends on your major and career goals. It also is not a given that School B is better recruited for all types of jobs than School A.</p>

16

<p>Op,
This is a tough decision and you have my sympathies. Just to clarify, you went to B for soph, abroad to C for first sem jr yr; then would you go to A for sr yr?</p>

<p>What would your major be at A vs B? What kind of job/career are you planning on going into? Do you plan on going to work or going to grad school? Have you looked at the career centers at both A and B to see which place has more recruiters coming to campus in your proposed career?</p>

<p>As for your resume, most people do not include all of the schools that they attended, only the school that they graduated from; also most employers do not request transcripts.</p>

<p>Sounds like you are making an emotional decision when wanting to pick A. You can also try an analytical decision in evaluating A vs B based on major, job prospects etc. There is nothing wrong with an emotional decision vs an analytical decision.
The reason it is so stressful is because it is difficult to know how these decisions will affect both your future success and your current and future happiness. I would let you know that there is no wrong decision or bad choices here.</p>

17

<p>Op,
As a side note, I have heard of a number of kids who have graduated from HYP who were unhappy for various reasons but who stayed to graduate because the kid and/or parents didn’t feel like they could give up the golden ticket. And yes, they have good jobs and are happy now. It’s hard to know how things would have turned out if they had followed their emotions more. Would they be happier? Would they not have a good job? Too hard to predict.</p>

18

<p>Thanks again for the input from everyone. Just to answer some questions I saw in some earlier posts:</p>

<ul>
<li><p>I went to School A from 2011-2012, and I’ve been at School B since Fall 2012; I’m currently studying abroad this semester, but I will be back in the U.S. (regardless of where I end up) for my second semester of junior year.</p></li>
<li><p>I did confirm that I would be able to graduate on time at School A.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>I also just wanted to clarify that there are some academic reasons I am considering transferring, as well. I was originally a Spanish major at School A, but after transferring to School B I switched to International Relations. However, I now think that this was a mistake. While I thought it would be “better” in terms of finding a job after graduating, studying abroad in a Spanish-speaking country has helped me confirm that Spanish is what I truly want to study. I’ve realized over the past few months how much I enjoy speaking and hearing Spanish all the time, and my Spanish classes - without exception - have always been my favorite every semester. At School B, I’m locked into my major and cannot double major or minor, and I also have to complete a rather large number of required classes before graduating, so I wouldn’t be able to take more than one Spanish class at School B, while at School A I could pick up where I left off with my Spanish major.</p>

<p>I should add that this is one more reason why my parents are opposed to my decision; although they’re already not too thrilled with my job prospects as it is, they feel that they would be even worse if I graduated with a degree in Spanish.</p>