<p>I’m going to apply for transfer admissions next year. Should I say that I am transferring for a girl on the application or should I just make up reasons that they would expect from a transfer applicant?</p>
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Maybe if you’re transferring to DeVry</p>
<p>I wouldn’t. I imagine the reaction would be, “well, then what happens when the next girl is somewhere else?”</p>
<p>YEP, I just laughed hysterically.</p>
<p>I know you might hear this from everyone and their mother, but transferring for a girl might be one of the biggest mistakes you make in your life. </p>
<p>Unless both you AND her are 120% SURE you’re going to get married (and even then, it could be a mistake, given the freedom you’ll have, your grades might suffer), do not transfer on account of a relationship. </p>
<p>If you are happy where you are, I definitely would not transfer. Imagine what would happen if you transferred and had an ugly breakup with the girl. </p>
<p>Also, to answer your question, if you mention you are transferring on account of a girl (and not on account of the school), you’ll almost surely be rejected.</p>
<p>Just my two cents.</p>
<p>this is ridiculous. I cannot tell you the amount of people I personally have known that have done this exact move and each and everyone one of them have regretted it- some catastrophically so.</p>
<p>If you want to have no spine, and end up being a lackey for this girl- then go ahead, she’ll just string you along and then dump you for some other dude most likely, because she’s a kid and thats what kids do, change their minds. they’re supposed to. thats why we all don’t marry our first loves and those that do still end up overwhelmingly high rates of divorced.</p>
<p>I hate to be so harsh but it’s just TOO obvious not to point out.</p>
<p>So, go ahead, put it on your app, then maybe they’ll reject you and you’ll actually start to make decisions based on your own volition.</p>
<p>My advice is that if you both really want to be together, you should agree to a handful of schools that you both apply to. That is the only way this results in you being on even ground.</p>
<p>Well, rankings-wise, she is at a better college than I am so I wouldn’t be giving up anything by going there. There is no doubt that my opportunities at her college will be the same if not better than my opportunities where I am currently attending.
By the way, there is no “next girl,” there is only one girl.</p>
<p>"this is ridiculous. I cannot tell you the amount of people I personally have known that have done this exact move and each and everyone one of them have regretted it- some catastrophically so.</p>
<p>If you want to have no spine, and end up being a lackey for this girl- then go ahead, she’ll just string you along and then dump you for some other dude most likely, because she’s a kid and thats what kids do, change their minds. they’re supposed to. thats why we all don’t marry our first loves and those that do still end up overwhelmingly high rates of divorced."</p>
<p>^^true^^</p>
<p>If there is only one girl why can’t you guys make it going to different schools? If she really cares for you she would understand what a bad decision you would make transferring.</p>
<p>it would not be a bad decision because her school is just as good if not better</p>
<p>have you thought about how miserable you will feel if you guys end up breaking up? You’ll have left all of your friends at your current school and will know pretty much nobody at your g/f’s school(I’m assuming). </p>
<p>Paper Crane, I understand what it means to be in love and all of that. I almost dropped out of college to marry my ex-girlfriend and at the time I thought it was a good idea. Transferring is not quite as bad as that but please, just think about that decision as if one of your friends asked you. You would probably tell him not to do it.</p>
<p>I’ve thought about it not working out in the end, but I wouldn’t be worse off by going there anyway. Leaving my friends by transferring colleges is pretty much the same as leaving my friends when I graduated from high school. Besides, I’ll make new ones at her college. If one of my friends asked me this and the college he wants to transfer to would be better for him anyway, even without the girl, I would tell him to go for it. It would be different if he was considering transferring to a worse college, which is not my case.</p>
<p>Both of my roommates, from freshman and sophomore year, baaasssically chose their schools based on their boyfriends (or certainly it was a big part of their motivation). I’m a transfer, btw. Anyway, in the case of my freshman year roommate, it was harder for her to make friends with other people at the college because she primarily spent time with her boyfriend and other high school friends. When they eventually broke up, it was a very different experience finding new people to hang out with. Also, not necessarily in this person’s case, one person sometimes resents the other because they feel limited.
Sophomore roommate transferred here in particular b/c of her boyfriend. Since he is older, once he graduates, she will have the same issue of figuring out who to hang out with all of the time instead of him.
This is very tricky, and there is no way for a bunch of people online to tell you what to do, but consider why you want to transfer aside from your girlfriend. Think about how you would feel if you stayed. And if you absolutely have to move to be near her, consider transferring to a school nearby instead.</p>
<p>You’d have a better chance transferring as a girl. Indubitably, it’d be a better sell.</p>
<p>I’m not sure lying on my application would be the best thing to do.</p>
<p>Yea I think we all agree he shouldnt transfer for a girl… but his question was should he use it on his transfer essay and not if he should transfer for her</p>
<p>I mean I agree dont go for her, but your a grown man and you make your own decisions…</p>
<p>So to answer the question… No dont use it on your transfer application, its like acceptance suicide</p>
<p>CCG’s right. You shouldn’t do it but if you do, lie about it.</p>
<p>See all the contempt you generated? You don’t want that in the adcom. They are certainly not going to go “Awww”.</p>
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<p>You said yourself that you would be in a better position by transferring. So focus on that. Why would it be to your advantage to transfer, how does going to that school help your academic and long term goals, etc? That’s not lying. That’s taking a limited amount of essay space and focusing on information that demonstrates that you are knowledgeable about the school/program. It would be a little worrisome if you couldn’t come up with any other reason to transfer. And that’s how the adcom would see it too, I’d guess. </p>
<p>People sometimes make their college selection or list at least by other circumstances – finances, location, etc. They would be shooting themselves in the foot though if they completely blew off a chance to demonstrate that they have given the matter a lot of thought and consideration.</p>
<p>Oh, god. This is so difficult; I definitely, definitely know. I’ve been in a very similar situation, but the guy I loved and knew was “the one” broke up with me before I got to his school. Love is a crazy thing. CC is an awful, silly place to give love advice, but whatev. Do not transfer because of a girl, and I advise not putting on an application that you are transferring because of a girl if you want to be accepted to a school.</p>
<p>If you are not happy with your school, and have a number of reasons for wanting to go to a different school (besides this girl) apply to some carefully selected colleges that fit what you want and need. It’s possible this girl’s school could be a wonderful fit for you, but choose it for that reason and that reason only. If you want to transfer, you need to thoroughly research which schools would be perfect for you, and know exactly why they would be so much better. If you apply to this school and put that you are transferring because of a girl, you will probably be rejected. I believe in being very, very honest on applications, though, so you’re just going to have to have more legitimate reasons, but that you also thoroughly believe.</p>
<p>If this girl is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, it shouldn’t matter if you go to different colleges. You can either work through a long-distance relationship, or return to one another when the time is right. How far away are these schools by the way? I know long-distance relationships are difficult, and no matter how much I support romanticism, it is just not fair to yourself to make decisions about your college education based on another person. You can not be absolutely, totally positive this girl will be with you for the rest of your life, even if you do go to school with her, but you can be sure you’ll be there. You (or your parents) are paying a lot of money for you to be educated, and I think taking full advantage of that education can be very influential in your future. It’s possible that this just isn’t as important to you, and that really is OK. I mean, yea, I think love is more important than anything else in this world, but just try to make a decision about your college education for yourself, not her/your relationship with her/your love for her. Make that decision for your education.</p>
<p>Speaking from experience, I would say think long and hard before you transfer to be closer to somebody. I transferred this past year from one great school to another for a myriad of reasons (including a change of pace and the general feel of the student body), but the most important to me was to be closer to my long term boyfriend. And as of yet, it has worked out really well! ( I bet that’s not what most of you were expecting to hear). I transferred down a little bit (from a top ten liberal arts school to number 11. gasp!)but that hasn’t been an issue at all. I also am not at the same school as he is, rather I got to school about 40 minutes away (vs. 3,000 miles), so I don’t have the issue of not forming my own social circle. This might be an option you could consider. I visit my boyfriend about every other weekend, but still have my own close group of friends at my own school and am able to concentrate on my school work. This also lessens the possible issues that could occur if you and your girlfriend were to break up.</p>
<p>I thought long and hard before I made the transfer, and although I sometimes find myself missing my old school and wondering what it would have been like if I’d stayed, I also know that both schools have their plusses and minuses, all of which I considered carefully before making the decision. I love my old school, and I love my new school, but after a year I can say that I am much happier where I am now. As lovely as my old school was, I was generally miserable being so far away from my boyfriend, and I eventually decided that the relationship was important enough to me that I wanted to make the decision to relocate. In a perfect world I would have been able to combine my old school with my current school to create the most amazing school in the world. Unfortunately, that’s not possible, so I had to give some things up in the transfer, but I also gained some others. </p>
<p>To get back to the original question, I would say go ahead and apply, but don’t use your relationship as a reason. Think through all the other reasons that you have for attending her school (and any schools near to her that you might be interested in) but you should really love the school that you are applying to and have other, more solid reasons for the transfer. If you find that there are advantages to relocating, then go for it!</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>