<p>What do you think about taking a kid out of a school if you’re not crazy about the crowd he’s with? My kids go to the same school, but my daughter has a great class with good friends. My son, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have alot of friends, and the ones he does have are based on their common sport, and H and I don’t particularly like them. We’re considering transferring him to another (private) school that also has a good reputation and a bit of a religious influence. In my own experience, I had one friend in 9th grade, and when I went to boarding school ended up with a great gang of girls just like me. Then again, I think in some cases if a kid’s seeking out a certain kind of friend they’ll do the same in any environment. This would be starting high school which is next year. Any advice?</p>
<p>I think switching schools CAN make a big difference, but you are right that it is also possible for the kid to seek out the same type of friends (or worse). It’s a crapshoot.</p>
<p>I switched my son into a different (private) school last year (entering 9th then). It was a huge decision for me because my older son graduated from this public school district. I started thinking about it two years prior, and I also started talking to him about it at that time, so he could get used to the idea. Most of my reasons had to do with curriculum and the overall atmosphere of the school, but there was also a social aspect involved. Kids change dramatically in middle school, and he fell out of step with all of his elementary school friends, and was just not “clicking” with anyone new. As you mentioned too, every class has a different flavor to it. Much of it is luck. The fact that he didn’t really have a strong group of friends actually made my decision easier. In our case, the new school has worked out great; it was a big adjustment, of course, but he now has a whole group of friends, male and female, and has become much more socially confident. I can’t believe the change in him. </p>
<p>Your situation is a little different; maybe he’s just hanging out with the kids he meets in his sport because they’re there and take little effort, or maybe he is attracted to that kind of kid, as you said.</p>
<p>There are a lot of variables, and much depends on how resistant he would be to the idea, but if you’re going to do it, I think ninth grade is the best time.</p>
<p>Thanks for your advice. I think if we’re going to do it ninth grade is the perfect time. He doesn’t seem to be resisting the idea. (we also suggested boarding school at one point and that didn’t go over well. that’s OK as its not something we really want to do, even though he’ll be the first boy in several generations to stay at home for secondary school)</p>