I’m going to start my first semester of college this upcoming Monday at a small private college in a suburb of Chicago called Elmhurst College. Back in my senior year of high school I didn’t really take the college finding process very seriously at all. At the time I didn’t really feel like changing my life style at all and just wanted to live at home and come home after class similarly to high school, so I decided on Elmhurst considering it’s the closest college to my home. I also wasn’t aware what I wanted to major in at the time so I applied undeclared. Putting my education background aside, my girlfriend who I’ve known online for a few years and started dating in July (but talking to seriously since June) is going to Northern Arizona University. A few weeks ago the thought came in my mind of transferring schools. I know this is silly to think about already considering school hasn’t even started yet, but let me explain. All of my friends and my girlfriend have left for school and it really sucks being stuck at home still. I didn’t think this would affect me as much as it has been when I committed to Elmhurst but it really has. They’re all having so much fun being away from home and I’ve come to realize that’s what I want as well. I just want to live the “college life”, far from home living on my own getting to experience what it’s all about independently without my parents. I also want to be somewhere bigger than Elmhurst since it’s a pretty small school; I’ve always thought the bigger schools would be really fun to be at. Now, my girlfriend and I are in a really great relationship. We’ve been online dating long distance for a couple months now and it’s been really tough on us as you guys may know. We talked on Skype and texted each other every single day and night for hours and hours on end. We literally spent 90% of our free time together and we weren’t very busy people during the summer so we were talking nearly all the time. We have the exact same interests, the exact same opinions on just about everything, we never argue about anything, and we both love each other very much and can’t get enough of each other. She cheers me up whenever I am feeling sad and I do the same for her. She makes me so happy and makes my life a whole lot better, even my friends and family have noticed a change in my mood since we’ve started dating and it’s just so great to have her. Ever since she has started school, we’ve obviously talked quite a bit less than we did in the summer and it really depresses me. All I want to do is talk to her and it’s even harder not being able to see her in real life. We both really want to be together and I don’t see why I shouldn’t transfer to her school. I’ve done a TON of research on her school, the area it’s in, and also what I possibly want to major in. The point is, I really want to be with her and I really want to live away from home for school. I haven’t felt this motivated in my life about college but I am now taking it more seriously than ever. I’ve spent hours and hours the past few weeks researching her school like I said and also looking at how the transfer process works and other important information I could use. Anyways, the point of this post is me wanting to know what I should be doing now or preparing to do to make this dream come true. I also would like to know the steps and requirements needed for this process. I’ve read that freshmen who want to transfer after their first semester sometimes just apply as a freshmen and not a transfer student, so I guess I’m a little confused on what the whole deal is still. I plan on talking to my mom and advisor in October about all of this but I wanted to get more information from you guys first. Before you guys start responding, I am not looking for you guys to list the risks of doing this or telling me I shouldn’t be doing this at all. I am very set on doing this and am already aware of the risks. Even if the very slight chance that we break up during school happens, I wouldn’t be upset with my choice of transferring because I’d still have the college life I have been seeking. I just want to be happy; I’ve been pretty depressed as of lately and want this to happen so badly. I got straight A’s my first semester of my senior year and A’s and B’s my second semester, also a 24 on my ACT and I plan on working super hard my first semester of college to get the best possible grades. Would there be any reasons other than my grades that I don’t get accepted to her school? Anyways, that’s all I have to say for now. All responses are very much appreciated. Thank you.
I hope that you learn one thing this semester: paragraphs.
I apologize for not formatting this post as you’d like but I was just wanting to post it as quickly as possible.
Few people will bother to read a wall of words.
Can you and your parents pay for that other university?
Could you defer enrollment at Elmhurst, get a job, make some money, and apply to a new list of colleges for Spring 2016 or Fall 2016? If you don’t want to be at Elmhurst, it doesn’t make much sense to even start there. At bare minimum, you can save this fall’s tuition and all of the hassle of filing a transfer application rather than just a freshman application.
We already paid the first tuition fee and I don’t think we can get a refund so I’m going to at least complete the first semester there for my parent’s sake. As for your question about being able to afford the other university, it’s actually cheaper than Elmhurst even being out of state tuition so it wouldn’t be a problem.
Just go to Elmhurst. Fill out transfer applications next spring, and make a transfer decision after you have acceptances in hand.
The thing is I don’t know if I can last a full year at Elmhurst. Why not transfer after my first semester if it’s possible? I wouldn’t be depressed for as long.
There is nothing wrong with starting the transfer application process immediately if you really want to.
However, you should give Elmhurst a decent try. There is the chance that you won’t be admitted at your target university and it might be a while before you are admitted anywhere else as a transfer.
You also need to talk with someone about this depression. Elmhurst should have a counseling center that you can visit without having to say anything to your parents if you don’t want them to know about how you feel right now.
What will happen if your girlfriend breaks up with you? I don’t think you have thought this through. Don’t move to a new school just to be with a girl.
Definitely re-evalute your reasons for wanting to transfer. If it is primarily to be with your girlfriend then it is not a good idea. She will have made friends by the time you get there and you might end up being the “tag-along” boyfriend. Realistically, you may not be together anymore by that time. I do understand your desire to get away from home and attend school in a different atmosphere.
NAU has very liberal admissions requirements. I note that their semester doesn’t start for another week or so. They very well might still be accepting applications for fall. Your current school may issue refunds if you were to drop out immediately. The problem with attending your current school for this semester and then transferring is that, at least at UNA, once you have completed 12 or more college units, you will be considered a transfer student rather than a freshman. That means there could be less financial aid and possibly other consequences. Your best bet is to call admissions at NAU to see if you can still apply for this fall. Good luck.