<p>ok this is something ive always wondered (i suppose this would also apply to colleges and ivys?) </p>
<p>ok so lets say that youve been accepted into exeter/andover in the fall. ur happy, excited, nervous, the works. youve also probably been used to being the star of the class, or even school. how do students transition from being that big fish in a small pond, to small fish in a big pond?? imean i guess in ur “small pond” one would be used to being all intellectually superior (or even intellectually arrogant) and whatnot, and then u come to boarding school/ivy college and BAM- it all changes? any thoughts? current bs students feel free to answer!</p>
<p>when my daughter applied to Andover last year she was told that the most common comment their academic counselors (i.e. those you go to when a student runs into trouble academically) heard was, “Gee, and I was the smartest person in my 8th grade class!” So, I don’t think it’s an uncommon issue. Probably takes some getting used to to just be another fish in the sea. When I went to Harvard, several eons ago, I came in as the valedictorian top-of-my-class from a good Connecticut day school where I was the math/science whiz. It took me about 10 minutes of my first math class to figure out that with those Bronx HS of Science guys I was now in the bottom third of the class! A very humbling realization-but also a healthy one. I was good-but I wasn’t that good by real world, big sea, standards. But, you know, the downside of finding out I was not the smartest guy at Harvard was way more than offset by being surrounded by and learning from a lot of very smart motivated students, many of them smarter than me. Hope that helps.</p>
<p>You really have to relinquish the unconscious feeling that many top students have that you can do anything just because you’re smart. It’s not true, and going to a top boarding school or college/university is the proof. Being smart is only so much, and being in an environment with so many other highly intelligent, highly motivated students can be very stressful for anyone. I’m a student at Princeton, and I also went to a pretty highly regarded boarding school, although the school was pretty small by most standards (Mercersburg Academy - 445 students). When I started at Princeton this fall, not only was this realization a significant contributor to my stress, but also the fact that because of the social atmosphere, most everyone participates in either one or multiple extracurricular activities, and on top of that there are so many other activities available that its tough to deal with everything. Think if you’re trying to finish a paper, and a lot of your friends are going to Performance X or Gathering Y, and this happens more than once a week. </p>
<p>At a large boarding school like Phillips Andover or Exeter, I’m sure this is bound to happen as well. The most important thing is not being concerned with other people and how you think they are doing, and also working on managing your time and being organized from the very beginning, because it may take weeks, or even months to work out a good system. Don’t be afraid to turn down extracurricular activities or other events if they’ll really affect your study schedule. Getting swept up is the worst thing that can happen. </p>
<p>Mainly, just be on your guard, make sure to devote enough time to your schoolwork in a place and at a time where you can be productive, and talk to other people and ask them how they study. You may learn something very useful.</p>
<p>Everyone reacts very differently to the change. Some are ok with not being the top, others stress out about it. The biggest shock for me was when I got my first math test back. I learned how much effort I have to put into homework. Before everything seemed more like busy work, but here it’s how I learn the material and really understand a concept.<br>
I think that many kids also forget to recognize that someone who is getting an A in math might be getting a C in English. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses and boarding school definitely helps you find those. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from a teacher or fellow student if you need it. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes, work hard, and manage your time. You need time to just hang out with friends, otherwise you won’t enjoy school and that’s what’s really matters (besides learning of course).</p>
<p>You just make the transition…there really isn’t any other choice…and you learn you can shine in other areas…like social skills/down to earthness/sports…you find a niche and make your own personality.</p>
<p>I just spoke to one of our former students who transitioned from a very small pond (graduating class of less than 50) to Yale. He said the transition has been no problem. He feels like the confidence he gained from being a big fish in a small pond for many years and the preparation he received (plus, I’m sure, his remarkable intelligence and friendliness) has made it all very easy.</p>
<p>You’ll be fine.</p>
<p>@sbergman</p>
<p>The experience is not the same for everyone, just as a previous post stated. I’m only advocating to be aware that the change is, and can feel, a lot bigger than many students think initially.</p>
<p>Ha! My mom went to Bronx Science!</p>
<p>Talk about a small fish in a big pond; the graduating class was in the thousands when she went there.</p>
<p>Personally, I’ve moved around a lot, and I have been the “new girl” quite a few times, and if I may, I’m very good at it. I adapt really, really well to new schools, new cultures, new friends, new activities, new schedules, and, with more effort, higher expectations (given that I’m somewhat capable and willing). Thus, although I’m wary of the challenges I know that I am fully capable (esp. if offered the resources, opportunities, absolutely amazing teaching and surrounded by motivated peers). As long as I don’t lose every ounce of motivation in me, based on my past experiences/challenges/triumphs and what I’ve proven to myself/learned in the process, I do expect to adapt easily, and then begin to accomplish more and more (with a lot of effort, of course).</p>
<p>Note: I do not regard myself as “a big fish in a small pond.” My parents aren’t the type to coddle or push me to achieve, and laugh at parents who do (not parents who want their kids to be educated, but parents who push their kids to be the best/go to Harvard). So, I don’t EXPECT to be the big fish in the big pond. Right now, I’m EXPECTING that I will be in the bottom 25% because I have not yet actually verified/realized the immensity of the expectations.</p>
<p>Also, I think I’m more aware of the world around me than most kids my age, and I’m aware of the real work it takes to be succesful (e.g. attending the SAT prep class your mom signed you up for aint gonna cut it), and I trust that I will have to work even harder than I expect.</p>
<p>So, I think it has to do w/ maturity, resolution, independence, an adaptability more than anything else. I’m sure there are a bunch of extremely booksmart and accomplished kids who can’t hack it.</p>