I’ve started a list of items to address between now and my DS’s transition to full adulting, but I am very interested in hearing from experienced parents on the things that should be managed and any tips. Here is my short list for now: apartment lease, moving arrangements, move from family to his health insurance, auto insurance, cell phone plan, etc. His plan is to accomplish much over spring break but we hope to have a pretty complete list made by the end of Christmas break so he can prioritize. Also I know there may be financial benefits to leaving him on some family plans (cell phone), but would love to hear your experience with making these decisions.
My personal suggestion is to not require 100% transition like immediately after graduation. That’s A LOT to handle mentally along with the loss of the security of college and friends, a new job, maybe a new living arrangement, maybe a new city, etc.!
I also think that some of this does and should just be learned as you go along. It’s everyday life, not a textbook exam.
Our 3 (oldest 31) are still on our cell phone plan but pay their portion. We paid car insurance for about a year after they started working. We also as grad gifts helped them set up their new places (either with stuff or first month’s rent or deposit).
Adulting doesn’t happen overnight. Hopefully it’s been in the process since high school graduation! While you don’t want major failures, but of it is live and learn.
Budgeting. Emergency fund. Renters and disability insurance. Understand how health insurance, co-pays/deductibles work & how to read/understand EOB’s, in network and out of network options. Will. Internet, TV options.
Update his LinkedIn.
Agree that graduation doesn’t switch adulting on like a lightbulb. It’s gradual, and your ds likely would appreciate not having it all dumped on him at once. Not that you were planning on doing that, but …
If not moving too far, considering passing on the new job’s health insurance and keep using the parents’ family health insurance plan (if available) until turning age 26.
While covered by the parents’ plan, get in final appointments (eye exam, physical, dentist/cleaning, wisdom teeth out, dermatology, prescription refills, order contacts).
Consider Roth IRA ($6,000) and employer 401k up to $19,500 (2019).
If covered by health insurance at new job, consider HDHP and HSA.
Does he have a job lined up yet? Until then it seems premature to make a lot of these changes.
My son is a late bloomer. He graduated in May and has just started his first post-college job this week. He is living with us until he saves enough for his first apartment. Yesterday, he asked for our help and advice in filling out his W-4. He is still on our insurance, and he is sharing my car for now, although we are planning to help him buy a used one as our last big expense on his behalf. But he is making steps toward being fully independent. Most importantly, he really wants to get out of here!
I post this only to help those whose kids may not be ready to fully launch the day they graduate. Some kids are ready and dying to go off on their own. Others need some pushing, and others, probably the majority, are somewhere in between.
Put the appropriate privacy settings on all social media accounts- nobody wants their future boss seeing them half naked at Mardi Gras as the first picture that pops up when they get googled. Set up an adult email address- take down “Wildpartygurl@” and convert over the grown up address. Set up a Linkedin profile with a grownup photo.
OP- don’t forget renter’s insurance. Once he has purchased many of the little things for his life away he will start accumulating savings. He should get advice from parents on opening/funding retirement plans available. He may need to separate any financial accounts such as savings, checking, credit cards from yours. Our son took forever to make this change- we knew how much he had in his account because of the link. It will mean new account numbers. He should be aware of what gets done in the improbable chance of his death- include one/both of you. Do powers of attorney for health and finance. Have a living will, health care wishes. Have a list you can have emergency access only for these things. Prepare him psychologically to not share his finances et al as he has done in the past.
@ohmomof2 yes he has a job offer (with benefits) and start date. He just needs to sign off on the offer once received in writing (my tip for new grads). It could still fall through but he is excited to get started planning his “real life”.
If the offer has a post-employment non-competition agreement that would be a hardship to comply with, he may want to consult with a labor lawyer familiar with the laws on the subject in the state of employment.
Once he’s signed a contract and had an opportunity to visit the work premises, he may wish to start acquiring a work wardrobe. College tshirts and jeans are ok in some workplaces while many may require different attire (unless he’s already acquired it in connection with internships or summer jobs).
With regard to medical insurance, check to see how much price difference there is in premiums if he remains on your plan vs starts his own plan. For us, it is only $5-10 more/mo or $60-120/yr to keep them on our family plan and coverage is excellent, nationwide. Also have young adult check differences in coverage among plans. We opted to allow our kids to remain on the family plan as long as possible, even tho S had an attractive array of med insurance plans to choose among and his employer would pay the bulk of the premiums. Our BCBS insurer agreed there was no good reason from our and S’s perspective to drop family coverage and buy his own policy—financially would have been wasted cash.
We also got 55+ T-Mobile plans—$60 for unlimited everything for 2 lines. S pays for him and H, we pay for D and me to share another $60 plan.
When my daughter got her first job after college, she signed up for all of their insurance plans. It was probably a mistake, we should have kept her on our dental and vision, as our plans was better. We didn’t do our homework on that one.
You mention he is moving. Spend some time figuring out where the most convenient services are near his new digs - grocery store, drug store, places to eat lunch by his new job, etc.
Does he need to furnish his new place - don’t forget the little things he may need (sometimes these things belong to college roommates and you forget he needs his own) - stuff like can opener, spices for cooking, dish towel, etc.
Before she moved in, my daughter and I sat down and put together a folder for her to keep her bills, bank statements, etc. organized. I also started her out with the quarters for the in-building laundry and some stamps, envelopes, and made sure she had enough blank checks to pay rent (couldn’t be paid on line). She also set up a place with an envelope to keep her own “important” stuff - her passport, SS card, etc.
Like many others, her phone plan is still owned by us, it is discounted because of my husband’s employer.
My daughter (now 25) still comes to me with letters from her insurance company. I don’t think anybody can figure those out without assistance. (So many times they are denying a claim or asking for more information before they pay, etc.)
Help him figure out how he wants to pay for his various expenses- auto withdrawal, online payments, credit cards, Venmo? One of my kids had to acquire a checkbook when their landlord required a paper check.
Look at credit cards with him and help him develop a strategy. Does he want a card with cash back, airline miles, a low rate, or some other perk?
Have him fully clean out his room at home. Sort everything into 4 sets of boxes-take to the new place, throw out, give to charity, and one big box (or however much you want to store) in Mom and Dad’s basement. I have friends who didn’t do this and 10 years out they still have box upon box of their kids’ high school and college stuff cluttering up their storage areas.
I would, however be careful about making him feel like you’re pushing him out of the nest while he’s still in school.
I would be cautious on buying a new work wardrobe before starting the job. Some companies are keeping traditional (coat, tie, shirt or whatever - blah!) and MANY are going more relaxed. Unless he knows the culture for sure I’d keep buying at a minimum.
Congrats to all of you. It is exciting to watch your son transition into adulthood. Here are a few comments.
– I’d only buy a work wardrobe after he knows the dress code for his office. We bought our son a couple of suits which he never wears so don’t make that same mistake. We did also help to get him a business casual wardrobe – as a student he didn’t have good slacks and button down shirts, decent shoes etc. needed for work.
– We left our kids on our cellphone plan. The overall family cost was less if they do not go on their own plan. We still pay for their cellphones but if you wanted your son to reimburse you for his part it would likely still be cheaper than getting his own full plan. IMO there is no reason to give the cellphone companies extra money.
–Does your son have a credit card? If not you may want to get him a student Discover card now to start his credit rating (I think there are other student credit cards but Discover is what we used for my D). He can use that card when he starts to work as well.
–Talk about budgeting, paying bills on time, keeping no credit card balance etc. And yes, have himget renters insurance (it is inexpensive).
We kept kid on our health insurance until just last August, when he turned 26. He used the extra money to put into his 401K. We also paid his car insurance as it was ridiculously expensive in Boston for a 21 yr. old ($350/month) and, at the time, his job was in a suburb not accessible by train. His insurance dropped to “only” $250/month the next year when he had 5 years driving experience under his belt. We continued to pay for it until last summer because 1) we only have one kid and we could easily afford it and 2) the money he saved by not having that bill was used for him to accumulate a very nice emergency fund and have an additional investment account aside from his work 401k. As he had no student debt to pay off - we felt it was the opportune time for him to start saving for his future what he could and get the benefit of compound interest!
He is still on my cell plan and his SO is on her parents plan. They may never get their own plan until we die! 
Something we didn’t think of at the time was the cash outlay we had to put up for first months rent/last months rent/security deposit and finder fees - on two apartments because every lease in Boston is Sept-Sept because of all the colleges, and his job started in June. So, he initially had a sublet. Plus, when registering his car in MA he needed repairs of some sort because it didn’t pass MA pollution standard (or something like that.) That was a couple thousand.
All told it cost us about $10k to get him settled. He’s moved twice since but earns enough to pay for those costs now.
For parents with kids moving to NYC it’s even worse and iirc, they have to show cash assets in the amount of 10x the yearly rent and have to cosign the lease.
Unless your kid is sitting on a pile of cash you will have to help out. He even got a moving allowance from company and a cash stipend but it wasn’t nearly enough to cover those expenses. He used that money for household stuff he and his then roommate needed.
He should definitely find out the dress code. My kid didn’t need any “work” clothes as his first job (Fortune 200 company) was nice casual (jeans and a polo shirt/button down. His job now, at a tech company, has no dress code at all and everyone wears jeans and tee-shirts.
Thank you to all! Excellent info. I am taking notes. Keeping him on our insurance adds nothing to the family premium but if he has other coverage available through his employer, I think there is an administrative fee charged by my employer if I want it to be primary. I will check.
Some employers will pay some amount if the employee doesn’t need medical coverage—at my brother’s workplace it’s $100/month, so that’s additional savings your young adult can save.
Agree not to get TOO much of a wardrobe, but some dressier slacks than jeans and some plain dress shirts and polo shirts can be a good base. S eventually had a tailored suit made for him, plus H’s decades old suit from when he was in college which fits S perfectly.
S saved a lot by not having to pay any portion of his medical premium until he turned 26. Our family plan is excellent and covered him in HI and everywhere he lived or traveled.
I had to co-sign for my daughter’s first post college apartment (in Boston).
If he is moving states he needs to take care of driver’s license, car registration, and voter registration. Even if he isn’t moving states, he may need to do some of these to make his new address his real address (some states treat students differently). He may want to do an official USPS change of address.
I am thinking back to the week my daughter had between graduation and starting her real job. She moved (across the city), got furniture, did her doctor check ups (with new docs near her), changed her driver’s licence, registered to vote at her new address, had her internet installed, and stocked up her pantry and fridge.