This is my senior year of high school and I’ve had a blast. I finally became captain of the Cross Country and Track team. We’ve gone on so many trips and races together that we’re like family now. This is also the first year I’ve let myself go. I’ve always been pretty reserved and laid back so I had a awkward time talking to girls and new people, but this year I’ve tried to be more enthusiastic and outgoing and have made so many new friends. I’ve always wanted to leave HS and go straight to college, but now I really love HS. After this summer, I’ll be going to a massive research university and I’m afraid I’ll just be another guy and get lost in the crowd. I won’t be doing sports there either. Sports were about 75% of my social life and where all my friends came from in HS. And none of my good friends are going to this university. I don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like I’m going to turn back into that old me, the shy guy, because I don’t play sports anymore, I don’t hold any leadership awards, I don’t have that many friends, I just don’t feel as confident about myself anymore.
I’m also not interested in joining a frat.
What college? I’m at a large research university right now and am loving it. Almost all research universities have intramural teams (I’m on one) to supplement those who can’t compete on/don’t have time for the D1 level.
South Carolina. I know I can play intramural sports, but with running (XC and track), if you’re not on the NCAA team then you don’t go to any meets or competitions. Sports and my friends have always been the reason why my confidence level has shot through the roof this year. I have no problem going up to a girl or someone new and starting a conversation because of those two factors. I’m just afraid once I start college I won’t be able to get to that stage again.
Another HS runner here going to a large research university. Only big difference is that my roommate is one of my close friends from home.
I had a similar senior year for different reasons but I was excited for college regardless. While I’m introverted, I had no problem being a bit more social in the first few weeks and establishing a few casual friend groups. If you make the effort, you’ll be able to find a few of those close friends. It may take time and you may not find the full community feel of an XC / Track team, but it’s not nearly bad.
As the year progressed I found my smaller group and naturally drifted from the others. Fast forward to the second semester and I have a best friend who’s also my girlfriend and a small circle I feel comfortable in.
Point is, be that enthusiastic and outgoing guy for the first few weeks so you have options and you will find your way from there. It’s a few weeks of active work for plenty of benefit. Also, remember that everyone else will be in a similar situation. Everyone else will be a bit more outgoing at first for the very same reason. The start of college socially is about being open and noting who you’d like to get to know better.
Hope that helps!
PS: I feel on the intramural running. I’m doing gym on my own + Flag Football intramural to supplement it. Maybe try that with something like soccer / ultimate frisbee or another sport you like?
You might not have XC but there will be a niche for you- you just have to find it or make one. Getting involved in a student org is a great start. Find a group that shares a passion of yours or just go to a few meetings with friends you make early in the year.
@PengsPhils hit the nail on the head- being really open those first few weeks will pay off. I’d venture to say that the majority of freshman will be more outgoing than usual just because they’ll feel the same pressure as you about making friends. Take advantage of it! Try to let your confidence from HS carry over.
Good luck!
Go to all the freshman orientation sessions and introduce yourself. Talk to people in your classes. It may not be those people, but friends of their that you click with.