My husband (69) and I (65) have been married for 43 years, and hardly ever went on vacation. Lots of reasons for that, including his work schedule (self-employed electrical contractor). Now he’s retired, at my insistence. I always envisioned us as being able to drive anywhere in the USA, or rent a car overseas.
But he’s experiencing serious memory issues in the last 3 years or so, and him being the driver or even traveling with any decision-making required by him is not a good idea.
Last year, I booked a bus tour through Ireland and he loved it so much! It was wonderful for him and he still remembers (parts) of it, and enjoys the pictures.
This year, we aren’t planning anything, but I’d like to plan something for 2025. What I’d like is a tour that wouldn’t stress him out too much. Something where I wouldn’t be in charge, where there would be a tour guide, or at least an itinerary that has to be adhered to. I’m leaning towards one of those Viking River Cruises, or else a tour of one city in Europe with a proper guide.
I’m pretty good at being a local camp director, haha, planning day trips with him. But he does keep asking about another trip.
I don’t know how to explain his condition. Mostly good days, nothing where he requires nursing care. In fact, most people wouldn’t realize that there is a problem. He enjoys life, but doesn’t enjoy stress or decision-making, but he doesn’t like me bossing him around, and neither do I!
I don’t have a great idea though your Viking Cruise one may be good! BUT I want to say is o like that you are really thinking about a trip he could enjoy with his limitations AND you are also looking out for yourself to be able to enjoy the trip and not always have to take the lead!
My parents just got back from a 3 month “around the world” cruise. They are older than you but no cognitive issues, just some mobility concerns. They absolutely loved it. No concerns about how and where to get places, food totally provided. As much or as little company and new people as you like. Seems perfect for your situation. We looked into river cruises for our family but there were concerns about water levels in Europe during the summer, cruising in general is wonderful
Not stressful at all. Everything is done and decided for you. You decide beforehand what you want to do that day. The tickets are put on your bed the night before, easy peasy.
I would check the itinerary closely and see what appeals to you. Some have hotel stays on the beginning and end (Cities of Light, the Elbe, Paris to the Swiss Alps) and others you are on the boat the entire journey. Depends on what works for you.
I highly, highly recommend arriving a day or two before to acclimate to the time change and see those cities where you start and end. Viking offers packages, those are seamless as they pick you up at the airport, transport you to the ship. The same is true at the end of the voyage.
Just got a brochure, offer code JS6 gets included air for certain fall voyages.
There are some great Youtube videos about Viking Cruises done by people who cruise a lot. They show the ship, the food, dining etc. You can look up for a specific trip (like a Rhine cruise) and there is a video of the trip and excursions you can take. Good way to see if it’s for you. Look for Eat Sleep Cruise video.
Also Elderhostel, Tauck tours? We saw a Tauck van everywhere we went in Banff/Canadian Rockies. (they run programs all over the world). Everyone looked like they were having a fantastic time, and it seemed like a range of ages, abilities, cognitive health. Anyone who wasn’t up to a particular hike got a shady seat in a picnic area with the other participants and a staff person- they were playing cards, snacking, telling jokes, taking selfies with the mountains and lakes in the background. And their friend/partner/companion got a hike or adventure with a guide. It looked very well run and great for a mismatched couple.
“ By 2010, more than 4 million adults had taken Elderhostel programs, and the organization re-branded with a new name: Road Scholar . Today, Road Scholar offers thousands of learning adventures, serving 80-100,000 participants annually.”
So…look for Road Scholar, not Elderhostel. They offer great programs both in this country and abroad.
My parents loved their Viking cruises, and some friends swear by them. This news story had haunted me this spring, we’ve taken some cruises, the man in this story is a Clemson dad, and we actually lost my dad for a bit at WDW when he was in his mid 60’s, early on in his dementia/Alzheimers (4 adults, 5 kids, we split up, and no one realized we left him on his own on his jazzy). Fortunately he has his phone, and he was able to describe his surroundings.
I will admit that I was a nervous wreck during my mom’s last cruise when she was pretty well into her disease. She went with her closest friends and we had to grill them to make sure that they didn’t leave her alone for a second, including bathroom breaks. She also shared a cabin with one of the friends. Thankfully it went well but these types of stories are what kept me up at night.
Another thing you might consider, although costly, is a full travel planner. For our trip to Italy last year we did a combo cruise plus travel planner for post-cruise exploring in Italy.
The travel planner arranged everything - car service pickup and drop-off, tours, hotels, train tickets, etc. They add their own fees on everything so it’s significantly more expensive vs doing everything yourself, but it offloads all the planning headaches.
Was that cruise with your mom on a big ship? The nice thing about river cruises is that the ships are small so it would be easier to keep track of someone. Viking has some Great Lakes, Mississippi and Canadian cruises if OP wants to stay closer to home. For bigger ships, Princess uses a device called a Medallion in lieu of a room card, and it resembles an Apple Airtag. As long as your family member is wearing it on a lanyard or wristband or in his pocket, you could track them onboard.
I don’t want to be a Debby Downer, but you might want to plan the cruise or other activity sooner rather than later. My MIL was sort of fine for a while, but then got worse at an exponential rate. Additionally my father was very good at getting lost and my mother got very anxious in less familiar surroundings as their diseases progressed. Hugs. It must be difficult.
The nice thing bout a cruise is you have your cabin and that doesn’t change for the whole time.
The last long trip my FIL took was a family cruise where there were 17 of us. It was great. He was happy sitting with a cup of tea and a good book and we would take turns meeting with him. Meals were as a group. It was really good.
Thank you. I know exactly what you mean, and when even planning last year’s trip I was concerned that if he had a sharp downturn we’d have to cancel. I know that a future trip may not happen. He seems a lot better than he was before he retired. The stresses of running the company really affected him. But I know I can’t count on that. My mother had dementia (not Alzheimer’s) in her later years, and for a while it was hit or miss.
In the meantime, I schedule special day trips for us to just enjoy life as it is right now.
I’m sitting on a cruise ship right now in Iceland while catching up with CC! There are lots of seniors on this cruise (Holland America) but it is lots of people for sure.
I don’t have any group tour info to offer, but if you both loved Ireland, may I suggest Scotland? Very similar in some respects but there are enough differences to be interesting (unless, of course, you want something very different this time). My D and I went independently in 2019, mostly by train, but I found (on TripAdvisor) drivers and walking guides to take us off the beaten path (I didn’t want to drive.). I know you would want a more inclusive tour where you wouldn’t have to worry about logistics, but I’m sure these can be easily found. Even doing it piecemeal the way we did, I was blown away at how almost-universally helpful and charming I found locals to be, even to the point of being able to find village taxi drivers willing to take us miles off the beaten track to reach interesting places. I had worried a bit before the trip but I felt safe and cared for in Scotland. Outside of Edinburgh and Glasgow, the country is much less populated and more rugged/mountainous (especially in the NW) than Ireland, and I think it would be a nice contrast to it. In fact, I have read that Scotland is the least-densely populated country in Europe (though I can’t imagine Iceland and Greenland (if it counts) are more populated). Even the capitol, Edinburgh is so much smaller and more manageable than most European capitols…which might make it seem less overwhelming to your husband) but has a mix of fascinating attractions that might be found in a larger city (a castle and a palace, winding medieval streets, an ancient University, orderly 18th century neighborhoods, museums, gardens and waterfront).
Scotland was my daughter’s choice of destination, and, at the time, I thought it might be a slightly boring choice (I have traveled in around 40 countries). It was just magical and I left feeling as if I’d be content to go back again and again to the place.
We flew into Edinburgh and flew out of the small city of Inverness, in the North. We had to change planes each way in London. At the time I learned there were (and I assume still are) frequent DIRECT flights between Orlando and Inverness. Of course, unless you live near Orlando, that would mean an extra flight to Florida, but it might be easier for your husband to cope with than a transfer of planes in London Heathrow.
BTW, if you’d want to keep it really simple and relaxing, you could have a wonderful trip with your husband simply flying in and out of Inverness (a small city with a medieval core) and focusing on an area or two of the rugged NW lochs and coastlines …rugged mountains plunging to the sea and the loveliest fishing villages you’ve ever seen
We found that- paradoxically- bigger hotels were easier to navigate than small, charming B&B’s. You land and get to the hotel at 10 am-- a big hotel is likely to have a vacant, cleaned room for you to crash in, take a nap, shower. The charming inn’s won’t have your room until 3 pm (official check in time) because that’s when the previous occupant has checked out. You and your spouse wake up at 5 am local time due to jet lag- the charming inn’s breakfast begins at 7 am which means someone shows up to make coffee at 6:45 am. At a big hotel with a few restaurants, one of them will be staffed early in the morning if only to provide employees with coffee and rolls- and it’s not hard to ask if they can set you up in a quiet corner (just leave a tip when you’re done).
We learned the hard way that the small, easy to navigate places were tougher for someone with cognitive issues than a big hotel with lots of amenities and staff and a fully occupied front desk even at 3 am.
Agree that Edinburgh is gorgeous and tons to do and easy to navigate. And the airport is super convenient. I would avoid Heathrow at all costs.
