<ol>
<li><p>I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.</p></li>
<li><p>Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.</p></li>
<li><p>I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.</p></li>
<li><p>There is great need for a sarcasm font. </p></li>
<li><p>How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? </p></li>
<li><p>Was learning cursive really necessary? </p></li>
<li><p>Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. </p></li>
<li><p>Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. </p></li>
<li><p>I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. </p></li>
<li><p>Bad decisions make good stories. </p></li>
<li><p>You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. </p></li>
<li><p>Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. </p></li>
<li><p>I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. </p></li>
<li><p>I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.</p></li>
<li><p>I think the freezer deserves a light as well. </p></li>
<li><p>I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. </p></li>
<li><p>I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. </p></li>
<li><p>I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. </p></li>
<li><p>How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?</p></li>
<li><p>I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! </p></li>
<li><p>Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. </p></li>
<li><p>Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. </p></li>
<li><p>Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! </p></li>
<li><p>The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies…Quit Laughing.)</p></li>
</ol>
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<p>Mitered corners! Perfectly mitered corners!</p>
<p>I was amazed at the amount of time they spent preaching mitered corners to us in nursing school. I guess they didn’t want us to figure out how much of our time was actually going to be spent cleaning up body fluids and how little time the bed sheets would really stay so pretty.</p>
<p>Good list-you should be a comedian!</p>
<p>Word always scares me when it asks if I want to save changes to the Global Template. What the heck does that mean!! Maybe, I should say yes as there are a lot of things I would change if I could.</p>
<p>Thanks for the laughs.</p>
<p>Cbug, I think you are living my life.
Except for #24, which I’ve never given any thought to.</p>
<p>Not to worry, mousegray. Hockey helmets have been around since the thirties. The NHL mandated their use in 1979, though by then the majority of players were already wearing them. (I’ve received that silly story in an email more than once.)</p>
<h1>13 - that’s what “Save As” is for! Just in case you don’t know if you accidentally made a change and don’t want it if you did! Just rename and reopen the original and compare.</h1>
<p>My faves:2, 8, 11 and 18</p>
<p>Really clever stuff!</p>
<p>great stuff except # 21</p>
<p>I like 2 and 24.</p>
<h1>24 is good.</h1>
<p>hysterical…how long you been collecting those?!</p>
<p>So true about mapquest! 
Also, that lady inside my Garmin should know by now how to get to the freeway from my house!</p>
<p>What’s a mitred corner? I’ve never managed to fold a fitted sheet without it ending up looking like a 5-year old did it.</p>
<p>Mitering corners (hospital corners) is really only possible with a conventional flat sheet. With fitted sheets, all bets are off. Doesn’t keep me from trying, though. I usually jam the flat of my hands inside two adjacent corners (width wise), and add the other two corners over the top of those, and then transfer all corners onto one hand. At this point, the sheet should be roughly folded into quarters. I then lay it down on a flat surface, such as a bed, and do my best to fold into the middle the two sides with the elastic. It will, of course, still be lumpy. There’s no way you’re going to end up with a truly flat fitted sheet. I just keep doubling my folds until there’s a misshapen package roughly the same size as my folded flat sheet, shrug and put it in the linen closet.:p</p>
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<p>Glad the bedrooms are all upstairs, otherwise they would want to know why I’m laughing.:D</p>
<p>I always end up rolling up fitted sheets; at least, that’s what it looks like when i’m done (with at least 5-6 corners hanging out, despite the fact that, yeah, officially, they only come with 4.)</p>
<h1>11. Sometimes it strikes at 10 in the morning–then you know you’re in trouble.</h1>
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<p>I was taught how to do it by putting the sheet on the bed. I can still do it, but I can’t describe how to do it. I can get it to look pretty good, but 5 minutes after the patient gets into the bed, it gets messed up.</p>
<p>ok, was taught this by my MIL.
Not that anyone asked BUT…</p>
<p>Find one corner of fitted sheet. Put one hand inside and find the corner. Let it hang on the hand. Find the corner on opposing side (doesn’t matter which direction). Put your other hand into the corner, but inside out, opposite from first hand. Tuck this corner into first corner, making sure the the corners line up. Hang this on one hand or lay it down. Do the same with the other two corners. Now you have the fitted sheet folded in half. Repeat operation with the two corners, so now you have all fitted corners tucked inside each other (you will have to turn one corner set inside out), and the sheet is folded into quarters. Then fold as if it’s a regular sheet with the corner tucks on the inside.</p>
<p>Walla.</p>
<p>^^^^Voila (pronounced vwa la).</p>
<p>Sorry, that one just gets me.</p>
<p>It’s funny-I cannot visualize instructions like that. They don’t compute. Even with pictures, I don’t always get it. The good thing about that is that I never had to put anything together on Christmas Eve.</p>