Hey guys i’m trying to get back on track academically and personally and i don’t know where to even begin
My first year of college i had great grades, maybe it’s because my roommates studied a lot and because i lived on campus so it was easy to get to class and the library and etc.
my second year, my grades went down a LOT but because i joined a sorority so i had a lot on my plate to do that semester. but the second semester i had already crossed so there was no reason for my grades to be so terrible but all i wanted to do was stay in bed and watch netflix and i missed all my classes and only got out when i went to drink. I didn’t really care at all about my academics whereas just a year ago i was a straight A student. there would be times where i’d buckle up and study but it wasn’t frequent enough.
this is my third year and now i live off campus, and in order to get on campus you need to drive but I don’t have a car so I rely on people to drive me, which makes it hard for me to get to class which i use as an excuse as to why i miss a lot of my classes. and my grades from tests and quizzes and etc. are decent but i know my attendance is horrendous
i’ve read a lot of articles that say the first step is to disassociate yourself from friends who might be negative.
i have one group of girlfriends who i’ve known for years now and we’re from different schools but whenever we get together during breaks or when we travel to each other’s schools, we drink a ridiculous amount and do drugs. i tell them everything that happens and i consider them my best friends but besides one of them, i’ve never really hung out with them sober or in the day time or just to relax and chill. but at the same time i can’t imagine ever just disassociating myself from them or how i would even do that.
i have another group of girlfriends who are from my college. we also drink a lot together at parties but we also hang out sober, do random things together. they’re not as crazy drinking and drug-wise as my other girlfriends but they’re kind of superficial, half our conversations are about clothes and make up and bodies. they’re all so beautiful, literally every single one of them are just gorgeous. when i’m with them i feel like i’m just not good enough, i’m too ugly, i’m too fat, i feel so flawed but like i can’t be flawed. i feel especially worse because i definitely did gain a little weight the past few months and whenever i hang out with them it just reminds me that i’ve gained weight.
I feel like my first group of friends enables me to do a lot of the stuff i’m trying to stop such as drugs and alcohol and the second group triggers my low ridiculously low self-esteem and self-hatred but they haven’t done anything wrong, it’s my fault that i’m like this but i know that if i hung out with people like my roommates from my first/second year of college i’d probably be better off but logistically it’d be hard cause we’re in different sororities, they have their friends and we live kind of far from each other now.
I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to get out of this but just some advice would be super helpful I don’t know what to do or how to start on improving myself.