<p>I am sixteen at the moment and will be a junior next year. Almost six years ago (will be in october) a week or so before my birthday, I was threatened with a gun and verbally and then sexually assaulted. I was ten. The guy that did it was in eighth grade at the time and was held back twice. He was sixteen. He wasn’t very smart in his timing, because he was planning on raping me but he had to get off his bus stop. I won’t get into details, as it would take me pages, but we had assigned seats in the back, no one else was on the bus besides a couple first graders up in the front, and there were no cameras. His dad is a police officer and that is how i’m guessing he got the gun.
I kept it in for many years, and became severely depressed once really figuring out what happened (about seventh grade.) I was so depressed and my mind was consumed with suicidal thoughts. The guy that did this mows my neighbors lawn, so I see him all the time… I kept a happy face on though. I didn’t talk at one point for three months. Finally, five and a half years later, I got the courage to tell my parents. I am now going to a therapist and everything.
I’m thinking now, what if there are girls out there that had something like what I had done to me or even worse? What if they don’t have someone to confide in or don’t know how to tell their parents? I feel like I need to do something now that I am well and much stronger. Any ideas how I could go about helping young girls?</p>
<p>I’m glad to see you’re turning your life around. I actually had a huge run-in with body dysmorphic disorder (and I nearly developed anorexia). What I’m trying to do is eventually become a motivational speaker to teenage girls and tell them about my experiences, as well as present this with statistics. It’s a huge job, but I’m actually getting somewhere. </p>
<p>Do some research on what happened and possibly try to present these to health classes around your area. You could also organize a fundraiser for an organization that donates their money to awareness.</p>
<p>I am glad that you are getting the support you need now.
I think it’s terrible that this perpetrator seems to have escaped without any consequences.
It’s also terrible that you still have to see him. At a minimum, your parents could talk to the neighbors and ask them to find another gardener.</p>
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Congratulations on a great plan. I think being a social worker might just be frustrating, as there are so many people in the case load, but that would be a possibility. There’s teaching, or being a motivational speaker, or starting / joining an organization specifically organized for that purpose… I think if you just become aware over the next three years, you can end up with a great major pointed in that direction. Good luck.</p>
<p>There may be a rape hotline or a crisis hotline in your community. Such hotlines often are staffed by volunteers. If you’re old enough, you could take the volunteer training. If not, perhaps you could help with their training by writing down your experience and your suggestions for how a hotline worker could help if a young person called who had had an experience similar to yours. </p>
<p>Many children/teens who have behavior problems have been sexually victimized and either haven’t told anyone about their victimization or told and were blamed or otherwise didn’t get the help they need.</p>
<p>You might consider careers – social work, counselor, psychologist – that would allow you to work with troubled young people.</p>
<p>In addition to hotlines, programs that you may be able to volunteer with now or in a couple of years (some require you to be 18) would include Boys and Girls Clubs, Big Brother Big Sister, and Guardian ad Litem. Guardian ad litem program has trained volunteers represent abused/neglected kids in court. I know college students who do this, and they find it a very fulfilling way to make a difference.</p>
<p>Here’s a link to some info: [Guardian</a> ad Litem](<a href=“http://www.nccourts.org/Citizens/gal/]Guardian”>http://www.nccourts.org/Citizens/gal/)</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your ideas 
I was talking to my mom, and I’m not really allowed to counsel girls or anything…but do you think I should be a spokesperson? Should I start my own thing or join one?</p>
<p>I don’t think it would be a good idea to be a spokesperson at your age because unfortunately, some ignorant people blame rape victims for what happened. This kind of unfair comment would be very hard to cope with at your age, I think.</p>
<p>I do think that there could be possibilities for you to be able to share your experience with people who are being trained as social workers, crisis counselors, etc. They could learn a lot from you, and due to the kind of training that they’re in aren’t likely to be the kind of people who’d blame you for what happened.</p>
<p>You also could consider writing about your experience and publishing it – possibly under an anonymous name – in, for instance, a teen or women’s publication. Many such publications contain personal essays.</p>
<p>Good call Northstarmom, I’ll keep that in mind… all I want to do is help :)</p>
<p>RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) is a large organization that helps victims of sexual abuse. Here’s their page on volunteering: [Volunteer</a> for RAINN | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network](<a href=“http://www.rainn.org/get-involved/volunteer-for-RAINN]Volunteer”>RAINN Virtual Volunteering | RAINN)</p>
<p>Since you’re interested in helping prevent sexual assault, you might be interested in articles from this site called Scarleteen. It provides a lot of information about sexual education, gender, and sexual assault. The woman who runs the site is a survivor of sexual assault. Here’s something from her blog: </p>
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<p>Another option is becoming a sexual health educator. I have a friend who worked with an organization and did that when she was a teenager. Here’s an article that talks about how good sexual education can prevent sexual assault: <a href=“http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/05/11/how_can_sex_ed_prevent_rape[/url]”>http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/05/11/how_can_sex_ed_prevent_rape</a></p>
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<p>Has the therapist, you and your mother filed a report with the police? I know this young man’s father is a police officer, but he did break the law, assault with deadly weapon.</p>
<p>I don’t know what resources there are in your area. We have support groups at the hospital. Once a year, a group of mental health professionals take over local HS and speak on different topics. Once I was presenting on eating disorders, and a client of mine asked to come and share her experience with the problem and the recovery. She was invited back by another Health teacher.</p>
<p>It takes courage to put yourself out there, but the results for your feelings and the effects on others can be significant.</p>
<p>Your therapist should be knowledgeable on filing police report and local contacts.</p>
<p>livelylegend,
Kudos to you! You have found your way back and even trying to help others. You have come a long way out of your dark place from this horrific experience. That is something to be proud of. I do agree with Northstarmom, maybe when you get a bit older and some additional experience you could be a spokesperson. Keep your confidence and go after what you want!</p>
<p>Do not be a victim. </p>
<p>Simple as that. </p>
<p>Don’t be depressed about what another person did to you. Don’t get depressed because “the system” didn’t handle it right. Don’t be depressed if your parents have a coniption fit. </p>
<p>You can’t control any of those things. </p>
<p>What you can control is choosing not to let this event ruin your life. </p>
<p>You can do positive things in your life to prevent future events, sure, but even if you don’t you owe no one anything. It was one event. An isolated event. It shouldn’t ruin your life unless you vicitmize yourself again but getting all screwed up about it. </p>
<p>I hear people say “I can never trust again,” and such, why, people do bad things every day and again it has nothing to do with you. You control you not other people. </p>
<p>Hope this helps. Peace.</p>
<p>ACCecil, don’t worry, I’m not letting it ruin my life. I am fine around guys, and did it mostly by myself. I’ve been to my therapist twice now (two weeks) and dealt with it myself for five and a half years. Thank you for words of motivation :)</p>
<p>Thank you sun_shine </p>
<p>bookworm, I live in a ridiculously small town, (population like 500). I have until I’m 23 to go to the police about it. Unfortunately, everyone knows everyone in my town (its a lot like desperate housewives) so I’m waiting till I’m going away to college to do anything about it, because I don’t want to be back here for a long time. </p>
<p>Woah, thank you kaxane, Ill definitely look into RAINN :)</p>
<p>I’m sorry you experienced such a traumatic event at a young age, livelylegend. </p>
<p>I would definitely look into possibly getting involved with RAINN – it’s a great organization. I’m not sure if you’re interested in online opportunities as well, but I really like Pandora’s Project. It’s a nonprofit organization for sexual abuse survivors and they have a ton of resources. There’s a very active online message board and chat room, lending library program, etc. It’s possible that they may have more ideas about how you could help, or you could become an active member of the online “community” if you feel comfortable doing so. </p>
<p>With that said, however, I think your focus right now should be on helping yourself. Wanting to help others is certainly admirable, but you’ll also likely be doing a lot of hard work in therapy and might benefit from some support of your own.</p>
<p>Thank you zpmqxonw, I’ll look into Pandora’s Project.</p>
<p>And you’re right, although I do want to help others, I do need to help myself first…</p>
<p>livelylegend:</p>
<p>Thanks for showing the courage to share your experience. I admire your desire to help others who may be suffering with the same abuse. I think as you help others you’ll also find your caring and understanding of other will help you heal even more. </p>
<p>I have a friend who works at private school called West Ridge Academy and they have twitter page and blog where they post some great articles on troubled teens. Situations like you have had an more. It might be a good reference as you study to become a therapist.</p>
<p>West Ridge Academy Twitter <a href=“http://twitter.com/westridgeacad[/url]”>http://twitter.com/westridgeacad</a> </p>
<p>West Ridge Academy Blog <a href=“http://blog.westridgeacademy.com%5B/url%5D”>http://blog.westridgeacademy.com</a> </p>
<p>All the best.</p>