<p>Yesterday I sadly stood in line to offer condolences to a family of a man who had died, not from a physical disease or accident, but tragically by his own hand. The anguish and bewilderment of his loved ones was indescribable and I will never forget the looks on their faces as I hugged them and expressed my sorrow. This man was gentle and kind, very generous and a proud parent of two wonderful kids. He also left behind a loving wife and a successful career. He was active in his church. I met him through our son’s school and have volunteered with him over the past 10 years. No one who knows him can understand or explain what happened, at least those of us outside his immediate family. From the outside, he appeared to have the kind of life anyone would wish to have. There were several hundred people at the visitation alone. He touched many lives through his career and generous philanthropic work. </p>
<p>Some of you may have mourned a similar loss. (I have been in this situation with young adults, but never someone of my own age. This individual was in his early 50’s).
How did you process a loss this devastating? How does one comprehend the pain and hopelessness someone must be feel to take their own life? Intellectually I know there are no easy or satisfactory answers but I am in need of some wisdom and understanding. And I ask for prayers for healing for his beautiful family.</p>
<p>Oh, I am so sorry. I can only offer that the man in question must have been in incredible pain to commit such an act. Unfortunately, success in life, a loving family, good circumstances cannot always prevent severe depression. I am sorry he didn’t reach out to someone and get the help he needed.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to his family and all of those who knew him. It’s obvious that this has touched you personally because you consider him to be your peer. Our family has suffered the loss of several family members to suicide.</p>
<p>It is incomprehensible but sometimes mental illness ( namely depression) can be insidious and may not be obvious to casual friends or family. In addition, we have all heard the cliche that suicide is “a permanent solution to a temporary problem” but at that time the problem may seem so insurmountable that there appears no way out! It is often incomprehensible and very sad indeed! The immediate family suffers the most.</p>
<p>Severe depression can be hidden, even from close family. Therapy and drugs do not always help. It is a day to day struggle. Some days are worse than others. If one is really bad this can happen. </p>
<p>It is not something that can be wished away nor is it anyone’s fault. It just is.</p>
<p>HeartArt. I am so sorry. You could have written your post about my father, who took his own life almost 14 years ago. (can it really be that long ago? It seems like yesterday). A kind, successful, loving, smart, wonderful man. Happy, joyful, and positive… until depression made finding that joy so difficult for him. We, his family, knew he was struggling (but not the extent, as no one expected this action), but his friends, colleagues - they had no idea. In fact - my mom told me that at his workplace, it was rumored that he died of a brain tumor, even though the cause of death was not kept secret. They just couldn’t, wouldn’t believe that HE of all people, would end his own life.</p>
<p>I choose to consider depression as much of a physical ailment as, say, pneumonia. Cancer. Kidney Failure. Whatever. As for being able to comprehend the pain and hopelessness…you can’t. I can’t.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. Feel free to PM me if there’s anything I can do.</p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear of this tragic loss. My family has been touched by suicide as well, and the scars are deep. As JustaMom says, it is an illness, like any other physical illness. The person who commits the act is trying to stop the emotional pain and hopelessness. It’s not a decision to abandon the family because the person isn’t thinking that way. Their thinking is very distorted.</p>
<p>There are many wonderful websites available to offer support for grieving families. Just google “survivors of suicide” and you’ll find many resources.</p>