@ToneDef @Twoin18 Kids have dreams (some parents have them for their kids, that’s a whole other conversation.) Any kid getting some $$$ from Tulane has worked their tail off for at least 3 years to get to this point, that kid is entitled to dream and shoot their shot**. G’Town is clearly the favored school.
**assuming they have the proper application guard rails in place
And can really afford Georgetown without jeopardizing the rest of the family finances, and future retirement of the parents. This is a family decision only the parents can make.
$160,000 in loans will be about $1800 a month in loan repayments. I would suggest the family put that amount into a dedicated savings for at least six months and see if that’s sustainable.
Not to mention the student is considering grad school afterwards.
Of course, parents should be having the tuition limits conversation at the outset of the process, “Here’s the pot of funding we have for your college and possibly post-grad,” but I’m of the mind that if the child is putting the level of work necessary where these schools are realistic admits, they are entitled to apply wherever they want.
We considered this question with S18 and asked him if he’d like to apply just to see if he could get in. He decided it would be worse getting in, knowing he couldn’t afford to attend, than not applying in the first place. So he didn’t apply (despite having studied for and taken the three SAT subject tests that only Georgetown required). He applied to Oxford as a lottery school instead, since we knew it was affordable.
What’s the point of “shooting your shot” when the only possible outcomes are disappointment (you didn’t get in) or more disappointment (you got in but can’t afford to attend)? Better to apply to places like UVA or Duke where there’s a very remote chance of a full ride than Georgetown where there’s not.
Many parents and students, especially first timers, aren’t always in the know about merit options at all colleges. My kids were super independent and one applied to a school there is no way we could afford (Villanova, got into honors). Oops, not happening, enjoy your time with merit at UDel honors instead. Worked out great. Did she work her butt off in HS? Absolutely. Are we forfeiting our retirement? No. It’s bad enough she has a lot of grad school loans.
With a 4% loan origination fee, 7% interest and 10 year payback $2,150/month.
And that interest rate might be optimistic. 8% throws it to $2,250/month.
Agree with your suggested approach of trying to see how sustainable it is for them by putting that amount in savings each month. One would think that if there was that much of a budget surplus each month there would have been savings built up over time such that it wouldn’t need to be 100% loans. Everyone’s personal situation is different though (and not judging!!)
@Twoin18 What an awesome kid for possessing that level of self-awareness! So cool. Some other kids might want to know, though. My point is that the student is entitled to make the decision either way. And honestly, I don’t think that we always know if those are the sole outcomes. My kid applied to a competitive OOS school that they thought was going to come in at 40-50K per, came in at $18k. I also think that in the 2024 environment, kids should be applying to more than 2-3 schools.
(btw, we also played the Oxford/UCAS lottery ticket. Always a smart move for academically competitive kids that can be trusted with a passport.)
I hope you aren’t suggesting that a 17 year old kid understands enough about debt, forbearance, credit scores, etc. to be “entitled” to make a decision like this on his/her own.
It is important to research whether there is any possibility of merit. I agree that sometimes it can be a huge surprise: D18 got a merit scholarship (OOS tuition waiver) at UT Austin of which there are a literal handful each year for the whole university (and ended up with a full ride elsewhere). But not at Georgetown where there simply aren’t any merit scholarships available.
The bigger problem with applying “just to see” is that it leads to families making unwise financial decisions under the pressure of “we can’t let our kid down after all their hard work”. If there is some possibility of merit and its agreed that without winning merit they can’t attend, the pressure to make a financially problematic decision is much reduced. But it can still be there: S18 was initially very keen on UVA because he got an Echols scholarship, but that doesn’t provide any money and without a Jefferson scholarship it wasn’t financially feasible.
“I hope you aren’t suggesting that a 17-year-old kid understands enough about debt, forbearance, credit scores, etc. to be “entitled” to make a decision like this on his/her own.”
@blossom, they are entitled to apply to whatever school they choose. Should they be informed of financial roadblocks and what not, of course, but again, all of that is beyond the scope of my point. If a kid works hard with a sport and/or academics, and has a reasonable chance of admittance, they are 100% entitled to take their shot and apply where they want, again, as long as they make sure they have locked-down options.
@Twoin18 Absolutely, 100%, research is a critical component of any school on your child’s wish list. Merit aid, scholarships, completely agree.
Wow, what a great run he had! We toured UVA, I loved it, walking the campus felt like the set for an '80s college movie. Didn’t love OOS prices or applying into majors thing.
Anyone can apply anywhere they choose. But I think it’s very unfortunate when a student applies to an unaffordable for their family college…gets accepted…and then is told it is financially not doable.
Yes…finances should be discussed up front. In the Thumper Family, we parents had to agree on the applications being sent (was not a problem). Then once acceptances came in, we let our kids make the decision.
BUT we were full pay, had a solid retirement plan, were two working professionals, and had a plan to pay for any college without taking parent loans or cosigning loans (we would have done neither).
I hope this family had discussions about finances before applications were sent. I hope.
The question I have is - if the student got into both Gtown and Tulane full pay (or $60K pay requiring full loans), what would the parent have done?
Because back to the point that the monetary discussion should happen up front - yes - in theory, Gtown, with no merit aid, if not affordable to this family (and it doesn’t appear it is) should not have even been applied to unless the NPC showed an affordable #)…dream school or otherwise.
Tulane would have been a long shot - but does have merit - and the OP was fortunate. But that’s sort of the I’ll apply - and hope it becomes affordable.
But if Tulane came with little money, what would the affordable choice be?
For this family - it doesn’t matter since it did come with money.
But for those lurking, it does matter - building a list has to include the financial aspect, not just I want to go here. Where you want to go is not irrelevant if your family can’t pay for it.
I don’t know what the situation would be for this family if the Tulane freebie didn’t come through. Hopefully they did properly plan and there was another affordable admit.
Not in my house.
Kid wanted to apply to a match/safety type school which had a reputation for OK academics, great location, and fantastic social life, food, dorms amenities.
We were full pay everywhere and were not chasing merit. And I would not budge on this one. Kid already had a fine safety (a public flagship although not our own) with superb academics and “fine” everything else (nothing fancy but perfectly adequate.) I was NOT paying the difference between superb academics (public) and OK academics (private). Not gonna happen. Not because I couldn’t afford it (we ended up full freight at a private anyway) but because I was willing to pay for more rigor, more depth, more intellectual engagement, but was not willing to pay more for better parties and a more exciting fraternity scene.
And I certainly wasn’t going to engage in this debate come April when decisions were due!
I question the use of the word “entitled” in the context of college applications. My kids were all entitled to my full attention to what they wanted, where their intellectual interests were, what their long term goals were. But none of them were “entitled” to apply anywhere- it was a family decision.
Kid applied to the safety the day after we had this discussion- was admitted a week later- and poof- the rest of the safety schools went off the list.
Do you tell your spouse that he/she is “entitled” to go car shopping anywhere he/she wants- or do you both do your research on what you can afford, what makes sense from a safety/mileage/reliability perspective and then shop around based on that very narrow list?
And I will add…for a history major, it is my opinion that Tulane has as much “rigor” as Georgetown.
Alas the OP hasn’t been seen in 3 days… 
And it should be made clear that admission but too expensive = rejection.
It also means that if a merit scholarship is necessary to afford the school, the reach/match/likely/safety classification must be based on the scholarship, not admission.
“Not on my watch!” That’s awesome! Look, we’re closer in agreement than you might think.
First of all, you’re absolutely right - that’s not an April debate. If anything, those conversations should be had in late summer before applications go out.
Look, the type of student I’m talking about - Top 10 in their class, elite everything, the one who has done all that we as parents have asked of them, yes, they are entitled to apply wherever they want. I’m not talking about a Lehigh vs Penn State discussion. Also, generally speaking, the type of kid who forgoes high school parties, doing donuts in the Kroger parking lot at midnight with their knucklehead friends, and instead practices diligent study patterns and consistent sports/music/EC preparation/performance, has a good enough head on their shoulders to make reasonable decisions. That kid, is, yes, in my view, entitled to apply where they want.
Of course, the high-achieving academic equivalent of the spouse and the car, would be a highly-successful spouse who makes a healthy living. Yes, that spouse is entitled to ask me to go window shopping at the Mercedes dealership with them. Whether we buy that 4-door EQE is a matter to be taken up at Starbucks on the way home. 
I think the discussion still has merit (ha!). Ideally, college budget conversations, as well as a discussion of any parental limits on college choice, should happen BEFORE kids send in their applications. Why waste a $80 application fee if there is no way a student can attend that college?