<p>I know is question will be better served here.</p>
<p>Currently I am in 11th grade and volunteer at a elementary school. I have been tutoring I kid for a year now (I started with him Jan 2004). He is in his second year of kindergarden. I am getting a little concerned. He has good days and bad days. I know that he is perfectly capable of doing the things such as the abc’s, reading basic words such as [and the is cat dog], and basic math because he can do them when his grandmother is sitting next to him. If he took performed those activities with his grandmother by his side for the teacher, he would go to first grade tommorrow. But that is not the case. Instead he gets easier work for the mentally disabled and still does not do it in class. </p>
<pre><code>He is not willing to try if I am the only one there. He just completely unfocuses and yells random numbers and words. I know he is not trying at that point. Week after week has gone by like this. I really want to teach him a work ethnic but its like he has shut off the world. He lacks interest if his grandmother is not there.
Does anyone have any ideas? I am there every week for 1 hour, sometimes I come twice. I usually work with him until he quits on me which is like 15 min on bad days and 30 min on good days. I need something to capture his attention so we can get some learning done. He still misses one or 2 letters on ABC’s.
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<p>I know his grandmother is trying, she reads with him every night and checks his homework. So its not like he is being neglected.</p>
<p>It seems to me that he is behaviorially/emotionally disturbed. Have you talked to the teacher about his academic abilitites and what you have observed are his problems? One of my kids has this issue. He is 12 years old now and in a small, structured environment which has really helped him. Part of his problem is ADHD, a lot of unknown. He would be in special programs at the public school but is functionally very well at his current school. He is very much above average intellectually, but cannot always deal with people or environment well.</p>
<p>That make so much sense, wow!!! Thanks! It does look like he has ADHD. Today we were counting numbers on two dice and adding them. Then I would ask him to pick up that many counters. He performed this a little better then the traditional math problems. He can only work for 10 min under those conditions. </p>
<p>You are probably right, he needs probably needs constant individual attendtion. But I don’t think the family can afford that kind of small school. Its just him and his grandmother. He lacks a mother and a father. </p>
<p>A lot of times I would like to talk with the teacher but I come to the school about 4pm and the elementary school lets out at 2:30pm so I never get to see his teacher. Maybe I should write I note and ask, but it feels kind of rude. Its like I am questioning her ability to teach.</p>
<p>You are not questioning her ability to teach. I am a bit surprised you are not working with the teacher unless the grandmother is paying you to tutor. You should write a report on his progress and your observations so that the teacher can tie in with the curriculum.</p>
<p>Also, if you’re tutoring through a program (with your high school, through the school board, etc.), then talk to whoever is in charge of the program. My son did tutoring through a school board program 2 years ago and had all sorts of forms to fill out and he reported to someone on how the 2 boys were progressing, what their problems, etc. There was also a process of some sort for him to interact with the teacher.</p>
<p>I see a few things going on here[ul][<em>] the “mystery” of why he performs better w Grandma - is he more comfortable with her there? wants to please her? You are the ally of this boy, and his teacher and his Grandma. I would hope you could confer with all of them re how best to serve his needs (as well as whoever may serve as a resource at your tutoring program) [</em>] how to keep him engaged when he is with you. You seem to have hit on this a bit already with your dice/counters vs. traditional math problems. I teach older kids at our local correctional facility and have found they take to “creative” approaches. So when “Millionaire” was the hot TV program, I used that format (multiple choice questions, “Is that your final answer?” phone-a-friend, 50-50) and that kept them going. I’m not up on the parallel currently for young kids, but if you can use whatever that is (sponge Bob?.. board games…) that might help. [li]teaching him a “work ethic” that will stay with him when neither you or Gma is there. Again, conferring with teacher/Gma/other resources re possible ADHD is what is needed here. But each little success with you will contribute.[/ul][/li]He is lucky to have you, as you are not just putting in the time but really creatively focusing on how you can do even better for him. You are a gem.</p>
<ol>
<li>talk to teacher and grandmother</li>
<li>talk with head ASP teacher</li>
<li>make power ranger games—> he seems to like them a lot along with hotwheels</li>
</ol>
<p>The one other thing is if I do all these interactive learning games, I am afraid he won’t be able to work with a pencil and paper in class sitting down.</p>
Yes, I hear you. Disclaimer: I am not an educator by training, so no expertise, just the love of doing it and some “in the trenches” with these type of kids. That said, my own feeling would be that whatever ways you can get this kid to become and stay engaged and (here’s the key) have some success is good. Most kids (and grown-ups too) will engage themselves better in something they feel they will have success at. So, you are just using creative techniques to build up that experience of success.</p>
<p>I don’t have much advice but I have a couple of suggestions that worked with my kids.
It could also be the time of the day. By 4 a 6 year old is probably tired. You might try breaking up the tutoring time with a break for something physical. 15 minutes of math and then a game of handball. Also a good game to try is Alphabet bingo. It is great for recognition of letters and also matching skills. You can take turns being the caller. It is usually available to purchase at educational stores or you could make your own. They also make a sight word bingo and also an addition version.
Good luck</p>
<p>I am wondering if he thinks that if he looks incapable of doing the work, he won’t have to go to school, and then would be allowed to spend the day with Grandmom, whom he seems very attached to.</p>
<p>I also am wondering where his parents are. Did they die or abandon him? If so, that might add to his attachment to his grandmom.</p>
<p>Anyway, it really doesn’t sound like a tutoring issue, but an emotional issue, and I agree with those who suggest that you write a report about your observations, and give it to the grandmom to share with the school. The school may be able to provide helpful counseling for them or to steer them to affordable counseling.</p>
<p>I have had good results teaching chess to children such as you describe. In my experience, many students enjoy learning how the pieces move and are willing to sit still more than they usually do and think about the game. I like to think that these results carry over into their other work.</p>
<p>Thank you very much for your efforts. I admire how you keep at it, keep trying to find a way to better reach your student. You could be a tremendous force for good in your student’s life. You are terrific! :)</p>
<p>I had a similar problem my senior year of high school when I tutored a 4th grade boy who was having trouble with math. Based on observing him for a few months, I started to think that he didn’t just need some extra help.</p>
<p>Sometimes young people are in over their heads when tutoring these kids. Alot of times there are serious problems that we simply don’t know how to handle and we’re stuck trying to get them to do things when there are much more serious obstacles. The best thing you could do is talk to his teacher or a school psychologist.</p>
<p>As well as checking ADHD or ADD, there are other things that could be here…slight autism is a possibility, it is more common than people realize and some symptoms are similar to ADHD or ADD. The fact he can do some things when Grandma is there sends up a flag to me. I would never assume anything about a child, but I do think all possibilities need to be looked at…a lot of misdiagnoses have been made, with medications given that don’t do anything…as well vision, hearing, tests need to be done again</p>
<p>so tread lightly and I would suggest wrting a detailed report on what you have observed and give to the teacher. </p>
<p>My fear is having this big boy around a bunch of kindergartners…with frustration, a kid will lash out (bullying) or retreat (depression)…</p>
<p>PS- you are a good kid and very observent…just do the best you can, and get those adults involved…the kid could end up getting shuffled around with…but don’t feel bad if things move slowly…that is the nature of some things.</p>
<p>I’m reading this, as an elem. counselor who has worked in elem schools for years, and wonder if the school has looked at the boy in terms of assessment for possible learning disabilities. The one comment about autism struck me too, but if he can do things one on one, and seems to learn in a different manner (ie: hands on manipulatives vs. pencil/paper), it could be a processing deficit. That can manifest itself as emotional problems too if the child is so frustrated and has no other way to deal with it. It’s sometimes hard to tease that out in a young child, but you said he’s repeating kindergarten, another red flag. You’re doing great in tutoring him and obseving this. Writing down what works/doesn’t work will be helpful. If you have a connection with the grandmother, you might find out from her if the school has considered doing an assessment for special education services. She has the right (if she’s legal guardian) to ask for that, and at least have the school review his progress to see if it’s warrented. Given what you’ve described, it sounds like it should be seriously considered. You’re not in the position to do that, but perhaps the grandmother needs you to help her advocate for this to be considered, if it hasn’t. Hope that makes sense!</p>
<p>I would not assume Attention Deficit Disorder. If this were the case, then there shouldn’t be the change when Grandma is there. Being more comfortable or motivated does not change the process that goes on in a child’s brain when he’s ADD/ADHD, I would think, especially at this age. I speak as someone who herself is ADD. I would agree with the suggestions to get everyone involved (Grandma, teacher, etc) and to see about getting him seen by a professional who might be able to make a more accurate diagnosis (at least we would hope).</p>
<p>update: I haven’t posted here in a while on this issue.</p>
<p>I talked with the school and his teacher through notes. They consider him special so now he learns at a different pace until he gets his act together. The school feels that he is maturing at a much slower pace then the average kid so while he should be preparing for second grade, he has the mind set of a kindergardener. But they think they are going to try to put him in 1st grade next year because in my school system they can not hold a person back for more then 1 year in each grade. We are making progress 10 mins at a time:) The thing is to keep the thing we do simple and then keep moving to different subjects. I feel kind of ADD doing this, but it seems to catch his attention for sometimes up to 20 min!!!</p>
<p>He can read it, the, and, he, she, I, you, me and some common words like mat and cat. This is much better then last year. But his reading needs to seriously improve if he is going to make it through first grade. I remeber reading the boxcar children in first grade so we have lots of work to do. </p>
<p>He can read colors!!! Finally!!!
He no longer things LMNOP is a letter!!!
he some numbers are backwards, but the teacher told me kids will correct this on their own eventually. </p>
<p>Math is still a big problem because I know he can do them if I interject question while playing a totally unrelated game. You know counting the sorry pieces if I have 3 and he has 4. But he still can’t do it sitting down. </p>
<p>Maybe I will try to teach him chess, but that seems a little too difficult; it was 2 grade before I learned. </p>
<p>He does not have ADD, I confirmed that with the teacher. Rather he thinks something is hard so he avoids it. Then is gets behind and starts to distrust himself. He probably has lack of self-esteem. This is easily confused with ADD especially in smaller kids. When games get harder he will avoid them the same way he does work so I think autism is out of the picture too, but I am not postive. </p>
<p>His case is a little heart-breaking too. Both his parents are either dead or still are drug addicts. His gradmother took him in and he has lived there ever since. Yeah, so he has no male figure in his life making me one of the only ones.</p>
<p>Have they tested for other things? Vision, hearing? Autism? Seriouly, this kids will only keep slipping farther and farther behind…and having a big boy with a bunch of yonger kids will only be more frustrating and damaging…if you can, get grandmother to push for more tests…so much needs to be ruled out…</p>
<p>As for the austism, there are many different levels and kinds…I will find some information and send you the links to see if anything clicks…aslo, has any one considered fetal alchohol syndrome…if mother was a drug addict, or drinker, there could be something with that…good luck and keep caring like you do…</p>