<p>Do any of you have guidelines about TV/video etc. during the school week? My 13 yr. old is self motivated, comes home, does her homework. My 16 yr. old procrastinates to the point where I literally want to tear my hair out, watching TV “later, later” etc. My husband says we should say No TV on weeknights but that’s not fair to the younger one who has her act together. What do you think? Last year he got his homework done but not as completely or thoroughly as if he’d stsrted earlier in the evening. He basically runs out of gas.</p>
<p>Try “no TV unitil your homework is done”. If the 13 yr old is done, she can watch TV. If the 16 yr old hasn’t finished his yet, he needs to go to his room (or somewhere else where he isn’t distracted by the TV) to do homework before he can join the 13 yr old.</p>
<p>Actually, I need to amend my previous post. Some kids need a little decompression time after school, before diving into the books again. So maybe your S could be allowed TV until dinner (or for one hour, or some other set time), then no TV until the homework is finished.</p>
<p>No TV on weeknights, Mon -Thu. We started when they were young, they just go into the habit of not asking to watch TV. By the time D1 got into high school, she was so busy with schoolwork and busy dancing, she really didn’t have time to watch TV. With 15 year old D2, we do try to limit computer usage (FB).</p>
<p>We found it was easier to have the same rule for both kids. We don’t get into - you like her better, you think she is a better student…Same bed time rule for both kids too, 10pm on weeknights until out of HS.</p>
<p>I have no problem in having different rules for different children. One of my children completely manages himself, his time and his schoolwork in an appropriate manner, and I respect that and let him make those type of decisions. He is well prepared to manage himself in college in another year.</p>
<p>My 14-year-old daughter has plunked herself in front of the t.v. way too much this summer, and I will tighten the reins this school year until she proves that she has the free time to be spent on t.v. If anything she may be allowed to select one or two special shows during the week to enjoy as her homework and activities allow.</p>
<p>Children need to learn to manage their time, but sometimes we need to step in and manage for them when they don’t seem to be able to make appropriate decisions. My oldest, a new college freshman, was very restricted and had to earn more freedom to make these types of decisions his senior year. It seems that he eventually did get much better at it; we will see what college brings…</p>
<p>We have always had the rule no video games during the school week - only Friday nights thru Sunday nights.</p>
<p>As far as TV, my kids enjoy a little wind down down right after school (on the occasion that they are actually home right after school and don’t have student council, sports or whatever). My youngest (12) usually has a snack and watches 1/2 hour of Full House or something. My son (17) will grab a snack and put ESPN on - usually falls asleep for 1/2 hour instead of watching, but then wakes up refreshed and ready to tackle work. </p>
<p>To me, the biggest distraction from homework for my son is text messages coming in. He agreed last year that is was distracting him and learned to literally put his phone aside when he was doing heavy duty studying.</p>
<p>Because of team sports and club commitments my daughter was not able begin homework until 7:00 or 7:30 on most evenings so (with some encouragement from the parental units) she figured out fairly early during middle school that she just didn’t have time to watch television. What worked for her was trying to schedule in a specific show (or two) during the week. Mindless decompression in front of the box was for the weekend. Interestingly, she enjoyed cooking shows. Full House was also a personal fave.</p>
<p>I don’t monitor the kids unless I happen to notice they have been vegged in front of the computer or the TV for more than an hour or so during the summer. During the school year, homework is after dinner. I don’t monitor or put controls in place what they do after the homework is done with the exception of making sure they get to bed at a reasonable time. I had one son who preferred reading a book. One kid that I call the vid kid because he can be abit of a TV addict and one kid that is involved in waaay too many sports so simply doesn’t have much time for TV and falls asleep right after the homwork is done. The TV addict I keep a closer eye on. There is some benefits to mindless decompression, but a fine line between too little/too much. I’m sure each kid is different and each family has their own tolerances.</p>
<p>When they reached those ages I never monitored TV for either of my kids. But neither was allowed one in their bedroom. To each his own. My feeling was that at 13 and up they could figure out their own time management but that they needed their sleep and TV in the bedrooms is a detriment to that.</p>
<p>Yes, my kids don’t have TV in their bedrooms, either. I think the suggestion of no TV after dinner would work for my eldest, anyway. Thanks for your advice on this.</p>
<p>I did not monitor tv watching in my house. They were pretty busy with school sports and school work, so I knew that when they sat down and watched tv, they needed that time to destress. They did not have tvs in their rooms.</p>
<p>We cared for foster children when our own were young. Some of those kids came to us addicted to TV; parents had used it as a sitter. It became a real issue.</p>
<p>We ended up with a rule of “no more than 30 minutes per day of screen time.” That included video and computer games, as well as TV. My kids much preferred using their time for games, or “banking it” for weekend movies.</p>
<p>Our schools gave a lot of homework (mostly busy work), and my kids had instruments to practice. There was actually very little free time. Their “decompression” was usually sitting at the kitchen table having a snack and chatting about their day.</p>
<p>That’s just how we did it, and it worked for us. But I don’t consider TV evil or anything - I just needed to offer choices I was comfortable with.</p>
<p>D has never watched TV, except when she is eating sometime she has weather channel on. She seems like me thinking that it is very boring. No guidelines.</p>
<p>We began a “no electronics of any kind on weeknights” when my kids were in early elementary school. I have the same situation with one kid who is very organized and gets his homework done, and another who never gets started until bedtime. </p>
<p>In middle school, they seemed to need a little decompression, so I let them have 30 minutes of tv/electronics after school. Now they’re both in high school and the older one is still a major procrastinator. I leave them to manage their own work now, but I always worry about and nag the older one. He doesn’t watch much tv, but spends hours IMing and fussing with his itunes library.</p>
<p>If you have to monitor this with teenagers, how do you think they’ll self-monitor when in college?</p>
<p>I’m not sure I follow, Pizzagirl. For example,</p>
<p>If you have to monitor when middle schoolers, how do you think they’ll self-monitor in high school?</p>
<p>If you have to monitor with elementary schoolers, how do you think they’ll self-monitor in middle school?</p>
<p>I mean no sarcasm - I have 6 year old piano students whose parents firmly believe they should be totally independent when it comes to practicing. And I have teen students whose parents still make practicing a requirement. Each has a different idea about when parents should back-off, and how much “responsibility” a child should take for his own schedule. </p>
<p>You get my drift — everone has different cut-off points. My MO is that I will help them develop good habits while they are under my roof with the hope that some of it sticks when they are gone. “Helping to create good habits” to one person is, I guess, “monitoring” to another.</p>
<p>(This is all hypothetical, of course. My kids are all grown. None took a TV to college, and only one roommate had one, and D asked her to use headphones.)</p>
<p>I just meant - I totally get monitoring TV with younger kids to inculcate good habits. Just like when your kids are young, you may check to see that they’ve done their homework, etc. I just mean that as they grow older, at one point you have to trust them to allocate their time appropriately and be responsible for the consequences. I totally get stepping in if there is a real problem and the kid’s flunking because he’s watching TV all day. By the same token, if a teenager is clearly devoting quality time to schoolwork and doing well, I don’t see a need to have a no-TV-during-the-week just for the sake of having such a rule. Hope that clarifies.</p>
<p>Yes, it does. Thanks. I guess in our house, by the time they were older, the “rule” was so ingrained - and my kids were so busy - the issue never came up.</p>
<p>We had a no TV on school nights policy, in part to make sure school work was done, and in part because 99% of TV is crap. We made some exceptions; e.g. watching nature shows with Mom (nothing like family bonding by watching dung beetles together) and Grey’s Anatomy (before it got even lamer than when it started). Moderation in all things.</p>