<p>I never watched it much but we did host movie nights and sports nights. We also had old school nintendo hooked up and we’d have video game nights with friends.</p>
<p>Didn’t stop us from joining clubs or making friends.</p>
<p>Also, my roommate freshman year drove me nuts with the TV. She watched infomecials every night till two or three am. So annoying.</p>
<p>At my house growing up we had TV in every room. I got my first one when I was like six… A seven inch black and white TV that got thirteen channels. I remember being so excited when I got my 13 inch TV that got 36 channels because then I could watch nickelodeon. :)</p>
<p>That being said I never watched much TV. I think when its available to you all the time its just meh.</p>
<p>TVs/video gaming consoles weren’t as big of an issue at my LAC when I went because most of the students…boys included weren’t really seriously into TV or videogaming consoles. </p>
<p>Any TV watching required could be done in the dorm lounge and was practically always available except during popular film nights because most college classmates had other more outgoing things going on. </p>
<p>My observations were more from visiting friends’ dorms at other elite colleges. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This varied by campus culture/housing regulations. At my dorm, there was a premium placed on being quiet in the evenings and the RAs were strict with noise violators during evenings/quiet hours.* Those who were inclined to hallway conversations were always directed to the large lounge areas well away from the dorm rooms. </p>
<p>This was underscored by the fact that the RA locks the dorm piano every evening at 10 pm to prevent con students from disturbing the entire dorm through practicing at a convenient spot rather than having to trek some blocks to the conservatory practice halls. </p>
<p>Granted, the prevailing campus culture wasn’t “Rah! Rah!” live loud and proud 24/7 like I’ve observed with other university dorms. </p>
<p>Closest issue with which I had conflict with a 19 year old freshman roommate was when his online MUD gaming addiction got to the point he was playing all night and preventing me from getting enough sleep for my 9 am classes and causing one of his Profs to use me as a messenger to tell him to come to his office to explain his missing several morning classes in one week. </p>
<p>After a confrontation, we came to an agreement that after midnight, he must take his computer and play his Muds at the dorm of his friend with all afternoon classes. If he wants to screw up his undergrad career…that’s his business. He doesn’t have the right to take me down with him through sleep deprivation.</p>
<ul>
<li>The urban college dorm my younger then undergrad friend lived in were also strict about noise violations. Granted, a large part of that was because it was next door to some residential apartment buildings filled with folks who weren’t shy about complaining to the university or even calling in the local cops to order them to quiet down after midnight.</li>
</ul>
<p>I think only one of S’s friends had a TV freshman year. Generally, people watched what they wanted on their laptops. I gather that they all got together once a week in the dorm lounge where there was a tv to watch The Office.</p>
<p>When I was in college I think I only ever knew one person with a personal TV in all four years.</p>
<p>I would stay out of it, except to point out to your son that if the TV noise is annoying to him, he could pleasantly ask the roomie to use headphones.</p>
Nowadays having cable, or even an antenna, isn’t always necessary since one can just connect the TV to the network and stream content from any number of sources. this is basically what most students do anyway with their laptops but it can be done with a big flat screen as well.</p>
<p>
It isn’t that so much as it’s - no matter what your opinion on this is or your desires, you have no control over it so there’s no point worrying about it that much. Your S can’t do anything about it either other than try to manage around it. Think about it - in this case the roomie just happened to say he was going to show up with a TV and hence your angst but he could just as well have said nothing and showed up with one or he could have not shown up with one and then a month later decided to get one. If your S got some other roomie at this college or another the similar potential issue exists.</p>
<p>And as I and others have said - you ain’t seen nothing yet! There are all kinds of potential roomie issues, including some much more difficult and serious than this TV one, that might be on the horizon. I hope none manifest and it all goes smoothly but there are all kinds of stories CCers and others could fill some threads with that are much more difficult situations than the TV.</p>
<p>Thank goodness you had friends at other elite colleges. Oberlin has its fair share of students with televisions…or computers used for streaming…in their dorm rooms. Yep they do.</p>
<p>That’s probably more recent as in most dorms, it’d be notable if there was more than 1-2 folks in a dorm of 40 or more people with a TV in their room when I attended. </p>
<p>Most college classmates had other more outgoing things to occupy them…whether classes/studying/practicing their instrument, doing various campus ECs/activities, road trips, organizing campus-wide political protests, etc. </p>
<p>As for TV in the freshman dormroom…while I didn’t want it for myself and was happy none of my roommates brought/desired to bring a TV, my main concern is if the one bringing the TV intended to turn the shared dormroom into a “Social/party central” space.</p>
<p>If it’s the latter that’s not an optimal situation unless all roommates are 100% onboard and more importantly…won’t be disturbing each other to point of undermining academic performance, disturbing neighboring dormmates, or disturbing neighboring local residents if the dorm is next to a residential area. </p>
<p>I am actually shocked there are parents who feel that excess noises in dorm situations is ok because “it’s college” “that’s the way it is/supposed to be in the dorms”. While there are campuses like the Rah! Rah! Party 24/7 type campus cultures, there are others where this attitude wasn’t tolerated due to campus culture, campus regulations, and/or residential noise laws which are applicable to local college dorms.</p>
<p>cobrat - I hate to break it to you that you are not the guru when it comes to Oberlin campus culture. You may know what your circle friends did, but not the whole campus. Your group of friends may have preferred quiet, none “Rah! Rah!” environment, but I can assure you that not EVERY Oberlin student felt that way, and their attitude was tolerated and accepted. It is inconceivable to me that EVERY student at Oberlin behaved exactly the same and had the same attitude as you. One thing you do very well is you project your own opinion as if it is the universal truth.</p>
<p>I went to Colgate, a very small LAC, many years ago. It was known for big Greek life, but there were many students who never participated, and there were students who pursued music, dance, sports, art. There were liberals, conservatives on campus when it came to social issues. I, like most posters here, could never say, “students at my school never did…or always did…this kind of attitude wasn’t tolerated” because most college campus are very diverse, no one student is alike. But cobrat doesn’t seem to think it is possible. He sees select few doing something, or he doesn’t like how some people behave, then such behavior must not be “tolerated due to campus culture.” Give me a break.</p>
<p>News flash!!! Having a TV in one’s room doesn’t make it “social/party central.” If it was that easy, I am sure a lot more socially awkward freshmen would give it a try.</p>
<p>I am thinking that if a student was socially awkward they might spend a lot of time in their room watching tv. But that said in these days it’s so easy to stream shows to a laptop or movies to a phone that one can stick in a set of earbuds and park themselves anywhere, tune out the world and watch a screen.</p>
<p>Honestly, t.v. is the last thing I would worry about. </p>
<p>Stupid drinking would probably top my list, as this has been the biggest roommate problem for my kids and my friends’ kids. Late noisy nights, ‘missed bathroom opportunities’ and random vomiting are much more annoying than someone watching Spongebob or sports in the next bed. Believe me.</p>
<p>ps I am going to give CSI college insurance a shout out here as they pay for damages to personal property resulting from described ‘random vomiting’.</p>
<p>I never said having a TV necessarily makes it “social/party central”. </p>
<p>However, it does validly bring up such concerns for parents like the OP and/or kids with similar outlooks that such a potential exists and they need to 1. Figure out if that’s the case and 2. If so, is it something they are 100% onboard with or not. If not, this type of incompatibility can cause such serious problems that a roommate change is advisable if the roommate bringing the TV wants the “social/party central” and is not willing to make reasonable accommodations for the roommate with issues about it.* </p>
<ul>
<li>I.e. Barring social activities/guests after 5 pm as another poster has mentioned is ridiculous. However, doing the same after quiet hours start at 11-12 midnight is reasonable for most…especially in campuses/dorms where quiet hours are enforced.</li>
</ul>
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</p>
<p>You’re right about not having the same attitude. The prevailing attitude when I attended had much stronger anti-TV vibe of the “Kill your television” variety and that watching TV shows and such was “too lowbrow/mindless” among most or among the more radical folks…“too bourgeois/consumerist-oriented”. </p>
<p>My true attitudes weren’t that extreme. </p>
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</p>
<p>While they may not have participated, many of them may not have cared for living in a dorm/being around classmates who partied loud into the wee hours of the morning, drank heavily with associated effects from heavy inebriation, were exceedingly socially cliquish depending on local frat/sorority culture, etc. </p>
<p>Those were factors why many Oberlin classmates made it a point to avoid colleges with heavy pan-hellenic Greek dominant campuses. </p>
<p>They were also factors why several colleagues who lived close to such campuses in the Boston area constantly complained about the noise, vomiting on their streets/garbage bins, and vandalism of their property. </p>
<p>Something I can relate with as my Boston area apartment was close enough to two campuses known for the heavy drinking/Rah! Rah! Party 24/7 culture and saw some of the same on my block.</p>
<p>cobrat - how would you know? Did you take a survey of everyone at Oberlin? My sense is that you probably had a small circle of friends you hung out with, just like all of us, who may have similar outlook in life, but it doesn’t necessary make them the norm, or the campus culture. I would suggest for you to stop projecting. What you and your friends did in the 90s is very outdated relative to what the current students are doing on campus. Even if there was some sort of culture at Oberlin so many years ago, it is probably a very different place today.</p>
<p>My actual experience with tvs in my sons’ college housing:</p>
<p>S1 brought a tv every year (now a senior) no problems really. Both roommates used it for occasional sports/tlc/cartoon viewing. More of a problem is when the roommate has a gf/bf and they skype at every opportunity (and everyone has a laptop, it seems). Lot of rolled eyes from S1 regarding that.</p>
<p>S2 freshman last year, brought tv and video games, room actually was ‘party central’ for the first semester. S2 quickly grew tired of that (studies a lot). Brought tv home for winter break and never brought it back. Some disappointment from hall mates upon his return but they quickly got over it. </p>
<p>I think that a tv situation is a good beginner’s lesson on how to negotiate and make decisions when living with someone else. Bf/gf issues and drinking issues are much more difficult and will probably be the things that actually cause you grief regarding your child’s roommates.</p>
<p>The frequent ragging I overheard and observed many classmates across many different dorms subjected those who were known to have TVs in their room. They’ve also had a tendency to politicize it through associating them with “mindless Bourgeois consumerists” or something like that. </p>
<p>I thought it was so over the top I enjoyed getting a rise out of them by bringing up the fact I enjoyed watching really “lowbrow” TV shows like “The A-Team”, Transformers/GI Joe, or WWF* as a little kid and to stop being so damned snooty just to **** them off. </p>
<ul>
<li>A fib. While WWF was extremely popular in my old NYC working-class White/Latino neighborhood while I was a kid, I wasn’t really into it. Because it was everywhere among elementary school classmates, I couldn’t help…but know of Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, The Sheik, the dude who looks like Scotty from Star Trek in Tartan garb, etc.</li>
</ul>
College students party and drink into the wee hours with or without Greek life. No different at Oberlin. I am sure there were a group of students, whom you were not friends with, also partied until the wee hours</p>
<p>When I think about all the possible distractions that can derail a freshman academically and/or socially, a TV in the room is pretty small potatoes, as others have said. Of course, as parents, we will continue to worry and maybe even obsess about all that could go wrong. But it really is time to throw the kid into the pool and hope like crazy that he makes it to the edge okay. He needs to feel as if you think he can do it himself.</p>
<p>rmldad, I understand the parental anxiety. I’d say you’re within your rights to say something like “wow, I hope neither of you finds the TV too distracting” - once. I don’t think it will have any real effect, but at least it puts into the kid’s mind, and not for the first time, “Oh, yeah - Dad is expecting me to work hard at school.” But to attempt any input into the roommate relationship (especially before there is one) can’t have the result you want.</p>
<p>You might want to prepare yourself for the inevitable “dumping” phone calls, when the kid vents about everything bugging him (possibly even the TV in the room) and then hangs up and goes on his merry way, while you are left with a host of new things to worry about. It’s a process. :)</p>
<p>The last paragraph of frazzled’s post is SO true. I remember it firsthand, back in the stone age when I was at college…Pick up the phone (pay phone BTW, located in a little closet in the common area egads!) wait for Mom’s opening “How are things going?”…vent about every person and thing that bothered/frustrated/saddened me since our last chat. Of course everything I ranted about was either fixed, settled or adjusted to by our next call…but I now wonder how many sleepless nights my mom had worrying about things on my behalf. As I send my first off next month I’m really going to try to work the adage, Don’t sweat the small stuff…and a TV is most definately small.</p>
<p>While Obies had their vices when I attended, they were heavily weighed towards weed and psychedelics. Most were able to balance their experimentation with academics/other ECs. </p>
<p>The ones who took it to excess were heavily stoned and stayed in their rooms/fellow stoner rooms. While they had issues with going to classes or being reliable in meeting up for something, they were pretty mellow<em>, cool</em>, and otherwise weren’t as obnoxious or belligerent as many drunken students my colleagues/friends, neighbors, and I’ve encountered in the greater Boston area. </p>
<p>While a few did drink**, alcohol was regarded by most as “too establishment” or ones for “conventional people”. Considering many classmates came from homes with parents who were part of…and continued to live the '60s era counterculture, it really isn’t too surprising if one thinks about it. </p>
<ul>
<li>Reasons why I and many other classmates were more than happy to give them copies of our notes for classes they’ve missed or sometimes, even try to get them out of their rooms to go to class, live life outside their rooms, get them some help. </li>
</ul>
<p>** Wasn’t to the same degree as to what I’ve observed at various campus parties at Rah! Rah! Party 24/7 campuses in the Greater Boston area. Not even close.</p>