UC Personal Statement

My first sale was sweeter than the lemonade I was selling…
Are you hooked?! I would really love some feedback/ revision tips for my personal statement. Please let me know if you’d like to read it, it would be much appreciated. (Also brand new to this website I have no idea how it works but someone suggested it to me)

I can read it if you want!

Okay. Are you in college or still in high school?

I’m also a senior in high school, so if you don’t want me to read it, I completely understand (: