I would trust your son’s judgement.
UCSC is one of those schools that elicit strong emotions either for or against.
I am sure he knows how he feels.
My kid was deciding between UC Davis and Willamette after casting off several other large and small universities.
She decided Willamette and Salem were too small for her, and she was spot on. Davis is large, but she has found her people in her department.
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Exactly this. And UCSC is a great school.
There have been times when I have been tempted to over state my opinion with my 3 adult kids with respect to school, jobs or other adult decisions. But so long as they were making a well researched decision for themselves, I held my tongue.
Invariably, college kids go through a rough patch. And you don’t want to hear, “But YOU were the one wanting me to go here.”
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i think that’s where i tend to overstate - not quite clear what is guiding the decision making. but, i’m ready to step out.
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My concern is budget - can u make UCSC work in subsequent years - housing - without straining your current life or retirement ? Going paycheck to paycheck is dicey.
If confident you can vs the others - and he loved it from the get go - how can you say no ?
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all college is going to strain our current life and retirement! the EFC is quite insane for a “middle income” family in San Francisco.
That’s where CC comes in - but that’s a personal decision and obviously you’ve decided on a four year. Personally I hate to hear that though.
Best of luck whatever you and him decide - which sounds like already has happened 
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I feel you. Three years ago, I posted a thread here asking for input on my daughter’s final three choices: UCLA, Kenyon and Smith.
I was in love with the idea that she would have lots of attention from professors, lots of advising and support, a small community where she could be seen and known, etc. I too went to a huge public school in CA (SDSU) and had often wondered what it would have been like if I’d chosen a small school. I really wanted her to choose a LAC.
She picked UCLA and never looked back. I had to let go of that vision and embrace hers. And I can tell you that she made the right choice for herself. She’s thrived at UCLA. That’s not to say it’s been easy. She was rejected by clubs, she has had to get savvy about getting classes she needs, her experience has been marked by TA strikes and protests.
BUT! She has learned from teachers who are the foremost experts in their fields–they are regularly quoted in the media, have won national teaching awards, write books AND they have welcomed her to office hours. She’s also learned to advocate for herself. She’s learned to dust herself off and compete against thousands of Type A successful students. She’s joined clubs I never thought she’d been into. She has TONS of friends (and she used to be reserved in high school) and can’t walk through campus without saying hi to people. She has made her huge school feel like a real community.
If your son wants to go to UCSC, try to see it as he sees it. It will take time to let go of that vision you hold right now, but I promise you it gets easier. Good luck!
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awww thank you SO much. sounds super similar and love your advice.
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Your son might want to reach out to the Music Department for more information.
The UCs in general strongly encourage participation in ensembles from non music majors. Exceptions might be UCLA and UCSF.
I have fond memories of playing in the UC Davis Symphony during my undergrad years. It was a very good orchestra of mostly engineering, pre-med and pre-vet students.
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@ThirtyNinePalms15 I am a huge supporter and fan of LACs. However, fit is king at LACs. If he is not excited by any of the LACs on his acceptance list, that means that he didn’t feel a sense of fit.
It is easier to attend a large public school like UCSC without it being a really good fit than attend a much smaller college like Willamette.
Your son is also an introvert. It may sound counterintuitive, but LACs are often not comfortable places for introverts. Part of the LAC philosophy is a high level of participation in classes, which is not fun for introverts. Most of the classes are also small, which is also not always good for introverts, especially the classes with 10-20 students. They are great for discussion and debate, but kids who don’t want to have a discussion with 15 other kids who they only know vaguely aren’t going to enjoy this sort of arrangement.
For many introverts, “being a face in the crowd” provides a sense of anonymity and ability to disengage when things get too socially intense.
PS. My kid really enjoyed her time at a LAC which was smaller than her high school, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. But she is the sort of kid who thrives in those settings.
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You may be eligible for the Middle Class scholarship via the California Student Aid Commission. Middle Class Scholarship (MCS) | California Student Aid Commission
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The only caveat is the cost of housing in Santa Cruz - you’d have to budget at least ~$1,800 a month for housing/food/cost of living in addition to tuition.
If you can add $18,000 to tuition/fees without parental loans and hardship, the you have to trust your son that he’s making the best choice for him.
If you can’t afford it (ie., it’s going to impact your retirement, you’ll have to take parental loans..), you have to be upfront with your son and let him know how you tried to make it work but UCSC is out of budget,yet you’ll help him figure out the next step - finding among his excellent list of acceptances the one closest to what he likes about UCSC (the forest setting? The beach? The colleges? The way the major is structured? The vibe/students? Proximity to home?..)
Willamette is in a city, Whitman is in a rare pocket of relative sun and touristy with wine country&the most prestigious one on his list, Lewis&Clark has city+known for Environmental studies, Humboldt has nature, beach, and well-known for environmental studies …
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I’m going to be the contrarian here.
My decision making model for college is that if parents are paying the bill, they have 50% of the decision.
In approaching this situation, I would simply say, “We have serious reservations about UCSC and aren’t willing to pay for that option. You have 4 other great choices which we are comfortable with ant the choice of which one of the four is all yours.” Let him convince you otherwise if you can. It should be an interesting conversation and might lead to more research in the next 2 weeks.
I agree that it is his life, but you have wisdom which has been developed over a life time of experience. I don’t believe that should be discounted. Plus you actually spent 4 years at UCSC, so you’re not talking out of blind prejudice. I just think that your perspective deserves to be honored in this process as well.
A lot of great points have been made in this thread. I particularly agree with the point about introverts often being better off not being under the spotlight at a small school. My GS chose State U over smaller colleges and it’s worked out great for him so far. These are not easy calls, and it’s worth banging heads until you reach a decision that everyone’s comfortable with. Clearly you are not comfortable with his preference at this point. A private college counselor could be helpful at this point.
You haven’t mentione$ how your spouse feels about this.
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Yes, to be more specific you’ll be paying for a triple dorm the first year (about $17K total), after that you have about a 50/50 chance of an on-campus apartment (where a triple room would run $4200/quarter plus food so about $15-16K per year). The lottery is independent each year, once you are off campus you can’t come back. Only once you are off campus do you need the higher budget, likely about $21K for a double for the year if you don’t stay all summer (so food is less then).
Do make sure that the comparisons with Oregon schools include differences in things like travel and insurance (will your current insurance cover OOS? Presumably it would be fine in Santa Cruz).
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This conflates the affordability and the suitability of the college. If the parents can’t afford UCSC then they can veto it on cost grounds. But refusing to pay because they think it’s a mistake to go there (even if it’s affordable) is something completely different and may lead to resentment later on.
A better approach would be to ask your kid “what are the benefits to you that would come from spending the extra $10K(?) per year for UCSC?” As others have pointed out, being close to home may be a big part of it. Forcing your kid to go 8-10 hours drive (or a flight) away may backfire in those circumstances. Likewise being an introvert who wants a big school where they can be anonymous.
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Just wanted to share that both my introvert children have done better the bigger the school has gotten as they have moved through school years. For one it’s not wanting to stand out because of being an introvert, for the other it’s because the size of the school made it easier to find their tribe. I think the idea that introverts always do better in smaller schools is a misconception. ~ not to dismiss other valid concerns you mention, or the fact that some introverts do do better in smaller schools. But I’d definitely leave this aspect of the decision up to him and what he feels comfortable with.
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Sorry if my suggestion conflates those two in your mind. Not my intent.
Frankly my intent is to provoke a deeper conversation. Remember that I said, “Let him convince you otherwise.” I’m not saying to force a kid into anything. Didn’t he opt to put those schools 8-10 hours away on his list? Again, I’d like to provoke a deeper conversation by taking a stand. Let him convince with arguments like the one you just proposed. Let me force him to look more closely at the alteeprnatives.
Lots of things may breed resentment later on. But I can’t lead my life worrying that if I take a stand on something, it may breed resentment. I’ve seen situations where parents get blamed for not taking a stand, such as “Why didn’t you stop me from . . . ? You should have protected me when you had the chance.” Parents get blamed for lots of things. All you can do is make the best decision you can which you think is in your child’s best interests.
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Thank you! All good insight. Our insurance (Kaiser) seems to be fine everywhere, Whitman has some ridiculously comprehensive on campus health center that I think covers it. He has reignited interested in Humboldt - my husband is driving him up there for a Monday tour.
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Best to see - not listen to an on again off again gf.
Where is she going ? Is that clouding things ?
Is the $ save substantial vs ucsc ?
If I’m seeing right Humboldt is $24k for tuition, room and board. They pad for transport and personal. Santa Cruz doesn’t appear to lost any figures. I assume higher though as other UCs and then housing risk later.
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