Ok I tried to put as much information as possible in the title.
I am traveling to my nieces college graduation. Her dad isn’t there, so we are the family she has. My sister loves to stay at expensive hotels and booked a really expensive 5* hotel. $250/night, ridiculous valet charges.
My D decided to come and support her cousin, she’s bringing her boyfriend or she could have stayed in our room. She could not afford expensive hotel so she picked a hotel a 15 minute walk away from expensive hotel for about 1/2 the cost. It was either that or not come.
I’d really rather save a couple hundred dollars and stay at the cheaper hotel. It has great reviews and is in a great location. We are not fancy hotel people.
Should I bring it up with my sister or let it go? And stay at the expensive hotel, because she thought it was a great deal for the very fancy hotel.
When I’ve picked places for family events, I go with the most affordable option because that’s who I am.
I would have absolutely no issue staying at the less-expensive hotel & telling my family member that I will be staying a 15 minute walk away. No reason needs to be given.
To be completely honest, I’m not even sure why you’re concerned or feel the need to bring it up with your sister as if you need pre-approval. A 15 minute walk is hardly anything, you have my blessing to stay at the cheaper hotel and mention it to your sister in passing as if it’s nothing. Because it really is no big deal.
S is graduating in June. The hotels that are a 5 minute walk from his apartment and adjacent to campus are $700/night. I’m staying a 20 minute walk/5 minute subway ride away for less than half that. If his wealthier aunt and uncle want to stay in on of the $700/night hotels, I’d have absolutely no problem with it. In fact, they’re going to be at the top of my list when they ask for recommendations.
Stay at the cheaper. Just tell her that is what DD is doing, and you want to be by her. And then just tell her you’d rather just spend that amount anyway. Absolutely nothing wrong with the truth!
Another vote for the cheap hotel. I’d rather spend the money on a nice celebratory dinner out, or for a grad gift, or just save it.
The additional thing about pricey hotels is the tax. Hotel taxes are usually well above the sales tax rate. It sure adds up when you are paying $250/night.
When D graduated from college, H (who is clergy) and I stayed in a nearby facility for retired missionaries that also offers rooms like a B&B. It’s very basic accommodations (no TV, for example) but is just fine. The breakfast is fabulous.
H’s parents also came to the graduation. We told them where we were staying, but they are definitely used to nicer accommodations. They booked themselves at a much nicer hotel that was conveniently located near where our place was. It cost 4x what ours did (and didn’t include breakfast).
It was all fine. I don’t think they would have been comfortable at the place where we stayed, and we couldn’t afford the place where they stayed.
I don’t think that you need to be reluctant to tell your sister unless it’s already booked and can’t be cancelled. I agree, though, that $250 for a 5* hotel is a steal.
The key is that you’re all going to support the graduate. It sounds like lodging where your D is staying is a fine choice. Your sis is staying where she wants to. I’d stay where I was most comfortable and let the other party know what my plans are and they can stay put or move, as they prefer. 15 minutes of walking is good for everyone who isn’t infirm or having some health impediment that interferes with the ability to walk a short distance.
Generally, I would have no problem telling my sister or anyone that I found a cheaper place and will stay there. If, however, either your sister will be at the more expensive hotel all alone OR if the rest of the family is staying at the more expensive hotel, I might stay there too just to either support her being by herself or to be sociable.
We recently went to a wedding and the hotel chosen was more expensive than some others but because everyone was staying there (friends), decided it was worth the extra dollars which ended up being worth it.
You don’t need your sister’s permission, but you might want to ask her whether her deal is dependent on a minimum number of rooms being booked. She could have negotiated a package deal by booking a certain number of rooms-- and could possiblly by on the hook for higher costs if you don’t participate. So gently inquire in a positive way. You shouldn’t feel any obligation to stay in the pricey hotel, but probably something you need to let your sister know about well in advance.
I can see why it would be a difficult subject to bring up. Saying that you want to be near your daughter seems like a good approach, but you don’t want a situation where your sister is all alone at the expensive hotel. If that appears to be the case, maybe you could invite her to stay with you at the affordable hotel with the idea that you and she will spend the cost savings on a fabulous graduation dinner or party.
Thanks for the advice! The fancy hotel can be canceled and no special deal. I booked through the hotel site.
And that was my sister’s reason for picking the fancy hotel, that it is never that cheap. We must be picking a time that isn’t that busy as there are some decent deals on hotels for that weekend.
I’m going to make sure my husband is ok and book the hotel my D is staying. I do want to stay where she is.
I don’t understand why you need your sister’s permission to stay at a different hotel that you choose, unless you had previously told her that you would stay in same hotel that she chose. Although it may be desirable to avoid having the family scattered among several hotels, that has already happened, and it seems like you prefer the one that your daughter is in anyway, so there would be no additional scattering.
Who’s closer to the better bars? That’s where I would stay.
But it doesn’t really matter. It’s a once in a lifetime thing for your sister, so may as well splurge a bit. After paying what they did for college, $250 a night is “crumbs.” Just go and have fun.
I now have booked both hotels and can cancel both, no penalty.
The only people going to the graduation are my h and I , my D and her bf. My sister and her 17 year old son. That’s it. My mom felt it was too much to get around a big city and it is the right decision.
Sister called me that she found this great deal, $250 for this great hotel. She was booking it. I said fine and booked. My D had some financial setbacks (not really but she owes taxes and has had a bunch of things come up). So she looked for a cheaper hotel and found one that she booked. It’s not half but still a couple of hundred dollars cheaper.
Haha, the better bars will be anywhere D and niece are.
