My daughter was accepted to University of Maryland, College Park (out-of-state) and Virginia Tech (in-state). I’m try to get comfortable with the thought of paying an extra $20K a year to send her to UMD. For parents who sent their kids out of state, how did you get comfortable with the decision despite the cost?
What major?
Except perhaps for IR and CS I wouldn’t pay 20k extra for UMD over such a reputable university as VTech. 
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I agree. If a major that UMD is very strong in (CS, some engineering fields, business) or has other compelling factors like an honors program she really likes and the extra $20k is not a financial burden.
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IMO spending the additional money comes down to what your family can comfortably afford (no loans, no hardship). Take into account any grad school, other siblings who will attend college, etc.
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I’ll be the contrary one here. As parents, did you put a cost limit for college before applications were sent? Or did you tell your child they needed to choose the less costly option before applications were sent?
I say this, because the Thumper Family had these financial discussions before applications were sent. Neither of our kids chose the less costly options, but we were fine with the costs. If we hadn’t been, we would not have allowed our kids to apply.
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Did you discuss finances ahead of time? Is grad school in the picture?
One of my kids went to an OOS public university and it was definitely the right decision…for her. It was more than our instate public, but still came within our budget so we let her choose.
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We are in NC. My d22 applied to in-state publics and some private schools but we took OOS publics off the table because of the cost difference. (She did not want to go further South where there are sometimes good deals for OOS students).
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She got int the Accounting program, but there is a chance she might get her pre-med requirements and pursue that.
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We didn’t rule out the out of state schools because diversity was a factor in our school selections.
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Did you discuss a budget during the application process? She can do premed requirements at the less costly option. Med school is expensive, if she goes.
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We didn’t put a limit on the cost. One thing that Maryland offers that VT doesn’t is more diversity, which might be a better fit for her. I’m thinking that she’s only going to have this once chance in her life to experience this phase in her life. Maybe the environment should be a consideration in our decision.
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If you didn’t put a limit on costs and if both schools are affordable (no hardship etc) then I would let her choose.
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Does she like UMD a lot better? Why? I see these as pretty much peer institutions, with a lot of similarities. Of course UMD is a lot more urban in location/feel but otherwise I’m not sure the price difference reflects a big value difference. My kids will likely all go out of state, but the costs were not significantly different and the in state options were not completely comparable. I would be willing to pay more, but I would want a pretty good reason.
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We did. But I was willing to send her to the environment she’d feel most comfortable in. Honestly, she did even that much put effort in her VT application because she wasn’t thrilled about the mountains. It sounds like she should just choose where she wants to go, and I should just find a way to accept it.
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I would accept her decision IF you can pay for it without hardship. It sounds like she knows which school is the better fit…for her.
It sounds like med school/additional degree may be in the picture…or maybe not. Would the extra funds be available to help pay for another degree?
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I would have her visit both one more time, and have a frank discussion about where that 80k could go (grad school, down payment for a house). If she really feels a strong pull to UMD, and you can afford it I would do it.
Only IF you are telling her that this money will be available to her for these things.
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So the biggest draw for my daughter was the diversity of the UMD campus. Her high school didn’t feel as diverse, and she’s a minority. And VT suprisingly is much farther from us than UMD. So she’s getting more diversity in a shorter travel distance than VT. I think with VT, she’s just feeling like she’s getting farther and farther away from a diverse area.
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Whatever we save would go towards grad school if she needs to go on that track.
I wrote earlier that my daughter attended an OOS public university that was more than our instate option but still came within budget. We let her choose…and she made the right decision 100%.
She is in grad school now and we do have some money left to help pay. Would she have had more had she gone instate or taken the big scholarship elsewhere? Yes…but she still made the right choice and we have no regrets. Between the money she has left from undergrad and what she saved by working first…her graduate degree is affordable.
I would help her make a list of pros and cons, including money for grad school, and let her decide.
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