<p>That is one of the reasons they also keep the location of “Project Grad” secret, so folks can’t secrete “stuff” on the premises for later. Our HS has the event at Dave & Busters. The seniors are only allowed to bring their cell phones & no beverages & get on the bus from HS & taken straight to D&B. The bus brings them back to the HS the next morning.</p>
<p>Really alarming that kids feel the need to drink and take drugs at younger & younger ages, while their brains & bodies are still forming.</p>
<p>Agree that withholding driving is a good idea because who can know whether the kid will combine drinking & driving. Very tough issues to have to deal with, especially when there are folks giving lip service but basically letting the kids do what they want. </p>
<p>In HI, I’m told that some of the HS kids will go out to the park or beach to drink/do drugs, tho both are illegal in public locations. I guess that increases the risks & potential criminal charges for them.</p>
<p>Classof2015, you mention in #9 that your son is an athlete. Did he (and you) have to sign a co-curricular code? We made it clear to our kids that, having signed the code, we would report them to the athletic director if we ever discovered that they were in violation of it (i.e. drinking).</p>
<p>I don’t know where you grew up, but based on where I grew up 15-16 is not a “younger & younger age” with respect to alcohol and drugs. Drinking and moderate marijuana use were almost ubiquitous at my high school by the time we were 16. The drinking age in my state then was 18, and lots of high school socializing happened in bars. I don’t think I was turned away from a bar more than 2-3 times after my 16th birthday. If I walked to three or four bars within half a mile of my house on a Saturday night, I would see three-quarters of my high school class.</p>
<p>Farfallena – thank you. I never thought of that before. I’ve always held it over his head that if he engaged in any inappropriate conduct, I would not let him play sports, but I never thought of the school as a reinforcement to that ultimatum. I know he definitely signed a code of conduct. The only problem in his eyes is that the football team (which just won States) are the biggest partiers in the school. So the hypocrisy/turning a blind eye is endemic to our little tight knit community. Throw up. But that’s a great idea.</p>
<p>I’m also thinking of just telling him: your driving age just got moved back a year. I cannot let him loose on others.</p>
<p>JHS – we probably grew up in the same town. From 7th grade on, kids “partied” (i.e., drank) at the railroad tracks and there were plenty of bars eager for 16 year olds’ money. This is not a new problem.</p>
<p>I think if a teen truly wants to drink, he or she can easily obtain alcohol despite the most stringent supervision. Kids ask older siblings to buy alcohol, they raid the refrigerator for a beer. If wine is being served with dinner, they quietly pour some in a cup. </p>
<p>And kids are excellent liars. They will never admit to having a drink. I do think that most kids occasionally sample alcohol in a minor way and that’s it. A few kids want to get seriously drunk regularly but I think they are in the minority.</p>
<p>Word does spread about where you can buy alcohol, cigarettes & probably other things w/o ID and no one knowing–kids do have their own network as well as some having access to “fake IDs,” which have been discussed in other threads.</p>
<p>Yes, when folks want to do something, all we can do is make it more difficult/challenging and keep our kids as busy as possible, hoping they make good choices and good decisions.</p>
<p>I also want to say that while this thread is focused on alcohol, parents really need to be hyper aware of the opiate issue. I work in this field and opiate addiction has risen dramatically, a coworker just told me today that it has risen over 900% in the past 10 years. Yes, 900, not 90. We see an ever increasing number of kids in their late teens and early 20’s. This is a heart wrenching addiciton for all involved.</p>
<p>Ice (crystal methamphetamine) is also rife around our island state & nationally. It has ruined so many lives and is responsible for a lot of violent crime and desperate actions by addicts. It is easily manufactured and harms the innocents who live where it is being made. </p>
<p>There are a lot of minefields and temptations that kids have to navigate these days–we all try to give them the best tools we can to make good and healthy choices.</p>
<p>D was just mentioning a couple days ago that some kid in one of her classes (large public suburban hs) was dealing drugs, so I casually got into the whole thing about how you start out doing the drugs, but that costs money, so then you have to do something to get money and you start selling drugs. Or maybe you become a prostitute because that’s a way to make money and you can’t make money in the usual ways because you are too spaced out on the drugs you are trying to pay for. Or you start stealing from people. And the whole thing is a vicious spiral down into the pits… </p>
<p>I have a great way of making it all sound so damn unappealing (I hope! :))</p>
I agree, JHS, although we were in a state where the drinking age was 21, and we were 30 miles from the border of an 18 yo state. Kids were always making that dangerous trip, and too many of them didn’t make it home. I’m not big on the current 21 limit, but at least it’s better to have all the states with the same drinking age.</p>