<p>I am currently a freshman student at a community college attempting to apply to A&M, UT, and UT Dallas. UT is my top choice as I visited the school recently and feel in love with the place. I am having difficulties writing my statement of purpose however. I don’t want to exceed 600 words as I don’t want to spend too much time explaining very little but I also want the admissions office to know me in detail. I plan on applying as a Radio-Television-Film student with the goal of becoming a visual effects artist. Since I am writing my statement of purpose for both A&M and UT I want to have at least one unique paragraph for each school. </p>
<p>For the case of UT (which, again, is my top choice) I wish to talk a bit about how director Robert Rodriguez (among one of the most famous alumni of the program) inspired me to become a visual effects artist. I used to watch the extras on the DVDs of the Spy Kid’s movies when I was in fourth grade and actually learned how to chroma-key at a very young age all due to Spy Kids 3D: Game Over. </p>
<p>Like I said however I don’t want to exceed more than about 600 words (although I might be able to push to 750). I feel my first paragraph is great and just needs some fine-tuning but the rest of my essay I am not to fond of. I don’t know if this is due to the fact that I am over-looking things. I have literally just finished this essay over about the span of two days (I took many breaks so my brain could think). I would love for somebody to critique my essay or possibly give me advice on what my essay should focus on. I feel my essay is all over the place right now but I don’t know how to fix this without leaving out important parts (namely how I balanced 30 to 40 hours of work and still managed to get a 3.8 GPA and how I have a large knowledge base of post-production programs).</p>
<p>Also I am aware of all the errors I have made. Feel free to still correct them however so I won’t forget to re-check. Also I have a blank on purpose. I couldn’t find the right word. I also have not included a concluding paragraph as I don’t want one until the rest of my body is complete.</p>
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<p>Topic A: Statement of Purpose
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admission committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and the other application information cannot convey.</p>
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<p>I just realized posting my essay public is a bad idea. If you wish to critique me go ahead and give me a PM.</p>