I’m curious which colleges are like this? It been a long time since I’ve been in college, however my feeling was that this sort of thing goes away mostly with maturity…and you just don’t see it as much at any college as you would high school. But I guess maybe I’m wrong.
Well, I’ve heard that Miami of Ohio is a little like this. And University of Richmond. I have a friend who is a college counselor and has visited many schools and those are her impressions. Knowing the kids who have gone to these two schools from our town, this is no surprise. SMU is another one. Vanderbilt too.
When I went to school, my roommate was ultra-wealthy. At the end of the school year, she found a dozen un-cashed checks from her parents in her desk that she never needed…and she was shopping constantly. Always had a ton of money in her checking account (unlike me who hovered around $200 if I was lucky). We were friends but I never really felt connected to her because of this wealth. And she transferred to Brown after freshman year because Northwestern had been her second choice. LOL.
There will always be disparities in how much spending money students have. I know at Pomona there was a lot of commentary about which students headed off to Coachella. But it’s not like she feels that she is surrounded by ultra wealthy trust fund kids. She knows they’re there, but so are the kids on full scholarship, Pell Grant, first generation, etc. My D lives in sweatpants and Birkenstocks and feels judged for wearing Birkenstocks instead of regular flip flops.
Maybe it’s more about the attitude of the school that is important too- if they choose kids who have prioritized community service. Or maybe having professors who run their classrooms to encourage collaboration instead of cut-throat academics.
Of the schools my kids have visited I wholeheartedly second/third/fourth Whitman, Bates, Carleton, UVM, Lewis and Clark.
Would also add Colorado College to this list for sure. And for slightly less selective, Puget Sound and Willamette.
Students at Rice are not pretentious. School has 4,000 undergraduates.
You know, Tulane may be worth a look, now that you bring up the community service issue. Not only do they look for commitment to service in the students’ applications and offer special scholarships for those going above and beyond to serve their community, but they require service as part of their curriculum. Tulane has a great relationship with the city of New Orleans, which has unique opportunities for service. Their merit scholarships are very generous, as well.
“Down to earth” and “pretentious” are both subjective. Give us a little more info on your definitions or all of this help is pretty much just guessing.
@marvin100 If you read through all of the posts, I think it becomes pretty clear. Not a ton of obvious money - fancy cars, handbags, etc. Not an abundance of spoiled kids. Kids who are friendly, not snotty. I think I mentioned above that most schools will have some kids like this but I’m looking for academically strong schools without what I perceive as the prep school vibe. I went to school with a ton of prep school kids and, coming from a suburban Midwestern high school, it took me a while to find a niche. Hoping to help our kids make a more informed decision. If you know much about Carleton, it seems to be the epitome of what I’m suggesting.
Ah, okay. I felt this way about Williams (I was a west coaster with no money to speak of)–in a way, very rural schools are good for that because there’s nothing to spend money on. Kids around me must have had big bucks, but there were no clubs or nice restaurants, no luxury shops or anything like that.
@marvin100 your comment makes sense to me about rural schools. Again I am operating off of stereotype but as an example I’ve always had the idea that Columbia would be an example of a school where you would quickly notice whether you were in the haves or have nots. The more opportunities you have for off campus activities, especially ones that are expensive, such as clubbing, skiing, etc., the more I would think you’d notice the disparities.
While I identify with your desire to have a non-pretentious yet academically elite student body, forget about it. The wealth in this country is so bifurcated that the second any school rises in the rankings it is set upon by those that can most afford to choose to go there. That is the bad news for you. Here is the good news: at every school you can find your contingent of “down to earth” (read not wealthy or flashy) people, whether due to a modest upbringing or simple lack of pretense. You can find them anywhere. I grew up poor, and I realized early on that I would have to get comfortable in my own skin and not envious or off put by wealthy people if I wanted it get the same education that they got. I wanted a top notch education and I wound up at Tulane undergrad, Harvard Kennedy and and NYU Law School and, yes, I did find my non-snobby friends and they are my friends to this day. I still don’t feel connected to the “pretentious”, but I have no regrets whatsoever! Best of luck to you!
Maybe it goes without saying, and echoing the sentiment above, but people can be well off and still down to earth and unpretentious. In my experience, the worst and most pretentious are the “wannabes” who are social climbers.
Northeastern is not what I’d consider in the same vein as some of the other recommended schools, but the student body is very unique imo. There is a decent contingent of very wealthy international students but for the most part I don’t get a “prep school” vibe or culture at all. While Northeastern is a great school, we are all aware it is not quite top-tier. Due to the experiential education/co-op model, we really value practical experiences. I have felt that the environment is not competitive in the typical sense at all, because while grades are a significant factor in applying for co-ops, past work experience, extracurriculars, interviewing and networking skills, etc. are also all taken into consideration.
In addition, the school has a robust honors program that typically throws out merit scholarships like candy with high scores/grades; your son sounds like a solid bet. I also would like to believe Boston is the greatest city in the world and makes for an awesome college experience, but ymmv.
Feel free to pm me for any specifics!
@MurphyBrown interesting analysis! I guess I’m more comfortable with the last two kinds of “money”- the kind of families who know that money isn’t meant to be showy and who teach their children the value of working hard and caring about other people. Want to stay away from schools where the kids are entitled if you know what I mean. Our family does very well but we are conservative in our spending and don’t put value on “things”. We could buy our kids the best but prefer to give them older iPhones and a strict budget for clothes, etc. And I know what you mean about the really old money. I have a few friends like that from college who still buy sweaters at Costco! They don’t feel the need to prove themselves to anyone and feel that “for those who are given much, much is expected.” Any school with a motto like that would be on my list
Perhaps the existence of greater SES diversity can allow the differences to be more obvious. Columbia has 30% of its students on Pell grants (i.e. from approximately the lower half of the family income range). This is higher than the rest of the Ivy League (Harvard is next at 19%) and higher than all of the USNWR top 25 LACs.
But don’t many rural schools have a “wet” reputation, so perhaps some students are spending it on alcoholic beverages?
I would also say that, in my mind, “pretentiousness” doesn’t necessarily relate to wealth, especially in academic circles. Some of the most pretentious people I know are not wealthy but overly-impressed with their own accomplishments at the high school level. Save me from 18-year-olds who think that a high number on an IQ evaluation or a perfect score on a national test represents “success”…because, in actuality, those are, at best, measures of potential that is yet to be realized. An academic environment with students who are excited by and engaged in their work is inspiring and energizing. One with too much focus on grades and awards tends to be stressful and draining, in my experience.
Bringing the discussion back to my original post, I wasn’t necessarily talking about how much money students have per se. I was asking more about schools where kids accept people for who they are and not what they wear or what they drive. That’s sort of what I mean by down to earth. Friendly. Non-judgmental. What I dare say that I call a general Midwestern sensibility. The crux was that I’m looking for schools with that kind of overall feeling while still offering a very strong academic rigor that doesn’t pit students against each other for grades but rewards collaboration.
Would Kalamazoo College be selective enough? Might fit the other criteria.