Of course, worrying about whether a college that is otherwise a good fit is selective enough could be another kind of pretentiousness… (the kind of pretentiousness that causes a student to think that anything that could be an admission safety is too “lowly” for him/her)
Maybe. Williams (at least when I was there–dunno about now) had a “no private parties” policy, though, so I never felt out of the loop on Friday or Saturday nights. Kegs were plentiful and they’re meant to be shared 
EVERY college is “wet” with a few exceptions.
@ucbalumnus I’m not concerned about selectivity because of the way it might “look” to someone else. We are not a pretentious family in any way. I’m sure many of the lesser known colleges that fall under the CTCL category would fit the friendly and collaborative description and I appreciate the comment that Kalamazoo could be a fit. I guess I was just trying to narrow down my question a bit in my opening post and, since our son is a strong student, he may have a shot at more selective schools. We all need safeties that we love, though, so I’m happy to get information on any school where he would fit. In fact, a school like Kalamazoo may be a better safety than Indiana University or University of Wisconsin if he ends up preferring small schools.
Believe it or not, some of the schools mentioned here as friendly and selective like Bates or Kenyon would raise eyebrows in our neighborhood. I don’t think most parents around here know about these schools. If you’re a strong student here, you shoot for the biggies like Northwestern, Notre Dame, or the Ivies. Our super laid-back neighbors sent their girls to Bowdoin and Carleton a few years back and it was hardly seen as pretentious. People didn’t even know what these schools were!
I suspect this is correct. WUSTL has been mentioned repeatedly and has only 6% Pell. I don’t think that makes it “less pretentious,” it just makes the disparities less noticeable.
OP, take a look at Clark. Super friendly students when we visited.
@usualhopeful I think WUSTL shows up as a recommendation on this list because it’s filled with nice, Midwestern, down to earth kids who just happen to have money. The full-pay families who we know who send their kids there are among the nicest people we know.
Not sure if bringing Pell Grants into the equation makes the feeling of a school more or less friendly. I understand your point about diversity, though, and that might be a separate question and something to be aware of during visits. In my book, diversity is a good thing.
By my observation, there are many very, very wealthy international students at WUSTL. That, combined with lower FA funding than many schools and the pre-professional vibe, didn’t give me the less pretentious, less competitive vibe on campus and seemed to counteract the “Midwestern nice” more than some other Midwestern colleges. I really like WUSTL for a lot of reasons but unpretentious didn’t come to mind. If you haven’t already, I’d suggest visiting to formulate your own first hand impressions.
But some are more “wet” than others, right?
Sure, @ucbalumnus . Just look at Princeton Review’s rankings in the Lotsa Beer, Hard Liquor, and Party schools categories:-)
I expect there will be beer and drugs where our kids go to school. Not looking at Wheaton College! 
Are you limiting your search to the Midwest and Northeast?
@carolinamom2boys No. Colorado College on the list. Probably not far south schools, though, as he hates heat and humidity. Maybe Pacific NW if the school is fairly close to an airport. CA not his thing.
Post #5: “Everyone enjoys visiting NYC.”
In my best Jimmy Stewart voice: “Well, well just a darn minute here!”
Haha, my son truly dislikes NYC. We live an hour away, he never wants to go in. Complains when he has to:-)
Sorry @homerdog All of my suggestions are Southern schools . Good luck in your search.
This may be peculiar advice but you should take a look at the applications for each school. I’m a strong believer that the application actually tells you a lot about what type of student the school is looking for. For example, back in the day Columbia was not on the common app and it asked you questions about the most recent art exhibit you had visited and the last travel experience you had. I hadn’t recently traveled, however, and the most recent ‘art exhibition’ i had been to was the student art gallery (a pretty simple hallway containing the art rooms) at my high school. I was a smart kid and I ended up being able to pick between a handful of ivies and selective colleges when it came time to matriculate but I didn’t think I would really fit in at Columbia if it was attracting students who were regularly going to art exhibits and traveling (things I considered luxuries). In contrast, Penn’s supplement was called “Page 217” and it asked you to write page 217 of your 300 page autobiography. I felt as though Penn was meeting me on my terms and asking me to give them insight into who I am and who I hope to be, not who they expect me to be. As a consequence (and for many other reasons), I chose Penn over Columbia and haven’t looked back since! I found it to be about 1/4 pretentious rich kids and 3/4 hard working, down to earth, lower-upper middle class kids who wanted an outstanding education without the pomposity of some of our peers. In addition to checking what their apps ask, I think your best bet is to try to find students whom you trust from your hometown who have matriculated at those schools and see if you can get an understanding of their experiences. If good kids from your town are at Bowdoin or Pomona and they’re happy, then you know that students like them can thrive there. If everyone you trust at perhaps Dartmouth or UChicago is miserable, that says a lot too. But start with the apps and go from there- they are surprisingly telling
Eh. I’d say there is still a big difference between a wet campus where alcohol is openly allowed to be on campus, and a dry campus where it has be hidden. Dry campuses push most of the social life off campus.
I’m not sure how “wet” a school is is a factor in determining the “pretentiousness” of it’s student body. Can someone explain it ?
@carolinamom2boys yeah. I think that part of the thread was off topic a bit.
Maybe it has to do with whether you need a corkscrew to open your wine or can screw off the top or open a box . @homerdog