Urgent! Bad first Quarter

Parent Cafe
21

<p>now,there may be other distractions besides drugs and drink and parties</p>

<p>for instance…CC…no sorry…but you know what I mean, girls can get sucked into WoW, etc just as easily as boys</p>

<p>my D would look at facebook pictures all the time…drove me nuts…(she is in HS), so the rule, and yes, it was a rule, was that there was no facebooking (well, 10 minuites to check message) but that is all, no looking at pictures, nada, during the week, she would look at one persons, then another…</p>

<p>it was very distracting for her and it took me putting my foot down, so in the OPs D case, maybe she was avoiding work etc by going online</p>

<p>something I never ever ever do ;)</p>

22

<p>Seems like she should get back on the horse, and go back. </p>

<p>First stop, the academic help center. Son’s school has very accessible academic assistance, peer tutors, and mentoring available. Yes, the student should talk to professors, but they can also get help from peers, which is less intimidating.</p>

23

<p>It’s only been a quarter - I’d recommend she go back. Hopefully reality has hit home with her and she’ll figure out what the problem was and resolve it. She needs to understand that she’s in the driver’s seat on this. It’s her decision as to whether she’ll be successful or not - it’s no longer up to the parents. She needs to come to terms with it. The problem was ‘not’ that she arrived the night before classes started (plenty of students do that). The problem ‘may’ have been exacerbated by her illness. She needs to look inwards and make up her mind what she wants to do.</p>

<p>If she straightens up for the next quarter she’ll likely do fine in the end and all will be well.</p>

24

<p>“I definitely don’t agree with those who say that she is in an easy major, and probably did not even put in a minimal effort. What?”</p>

<p>That would be yours truly, but apparently I didn’t articulate what I meant clearly enough. </p>

<p>I have no way of knowing how hard she tried. But if she tried and got those grades, there’s a problem somewhere. The truth is that it’s pretty darn hard to get grades that bad in college these days–especially a top tier college. At least it is for a kid who has always been a good student and had a high ACT, who attends classes regularly and studies. And if the D’s major is communications, it’s unlikely she’s taking organic chem and multivariable calc. And if she was only taking 3 courses when the norm is 4, then the problem isn’t that she overloaded herself first quarter either. </p>

<p>Maybe like the person one of the other posters described, she has a learning disability. One of my closest friends got a D first semester of college in French. It later turned out that she has a hearing loss which had never been diagnosed. She lip read her way through life WITHOUT KNOWING that was what she was doing. In college, the oral part of the French exam was given using head phones. She honestly didn’t realize that the reason she couldn’t understand what the recordings said was because while she could hear some sounds, she couldn’t hear well enough to get the words and, for obvious reasons, she couldn’t lip read. My friend could have studied French 24/7 and it would not have helped. She would have had exactly the same problem if she had been given oral exams in English through a head set. </p>

<p>My D has a friend who came to her the night before he took his SATs. He had bombed the verbal portion of his PSATs-- a score well below 500. He hadn’t studied at all for the SAT, and was really bummed out the night before it. So, he asked my kid–who is good at standardized tests–for help. She asked him to show her his PSAT report. He hadn’t bothered to look at anything other than the score. She looked at it and told him that it was obvious that he actually knew the material. He got almost every question he answered correct. But, he didn’t answer very many questions. Because she knows him well, she knows he’s a slower reader. She told him cramming that night wasn’t going to help. However, the next day, he should skip all of the reading comprehension problems and go through the rest of the exam. Only after he had finished the rest of the verbal section should he try to do the reading comprehension section. That way, he would finish more of the test. He followed her advice and broke 600.</p>

<p>More importantly, he recognized that the fact that he was a slow reader was a problem he had to deal with. He went to a Sylvan learning center. He took a diagnostic test and learned that he was a REALLY slow reader. So, the summer before college, he took a reading course and upped his speed by more than 100 words a minute. </p>

<p>He is eternally grateful because when the heavier reading load of college hit, he was prepared. He may not have made it through college if he had still been a slow reader. Fortunately for him, he figured out what he needed to do BEFORE he started college and avoided a catastrophe. </p>

<p>I think the OP has to help her D figure out what the real problem is. I don’t think the girl has done that, based on what her mom is saying. </p>

<p>I don’t think arriving at school the day before classes began is why this kid had a problem–and that seems to be her explanation. Something else is going on–the D has a learning disability, the D has a hearing or vision problem that wasn’t an issue in a small classroom but is in a large auditorium, the D is suffering from depression, the D was so homesick she couldn’t function, SOMETHING. </p>

<p>Throwing the OP’s daughter back into the deep end without figuring out what the problem is seems to me like a pretty good way to guarantee she drowns. If a kid says I “partied too hearty and now I know I can’t do that,” and I felt that was sincere, I’d send the kid back to school in a heart beat.</p>

25

<p>Wow, thanks for the great insight that you provided! I read every word and just want to make a few comments.</p>

<p>With the Quarter - as opposed to Semester system, things are compressed, and the students sometimes don’t have a clue as to where they stand since there are sometimes only two major grades - the exams. Most kids do fine with this system, but for procrastinators like my daughter - the result was disaster. This was part of the problem. I think the main issue was poor study habits.</p>

<p>She got the probation letter from the school. She has to get at least a “C” (2.0) next Q to stay enrolled, and she must attend special counseling sessions. An option which she has agreed to, is to take a remedial 3 credit class covering time management, note taking and study strategies. It was a humbling experience for her to realize that she would have to take a class with underachievers, but she realized that she has a lot to learn.</p>

<p>So she has agreed to go take the remedial study class, attend tutoring, academic counseling, and to stay in close contact with her academic advisor.</p>

<p>Thanks again for the great advice and I’ll keep you posted!</p>

26

<p>I don’t know if this still exists, but back when I was at a state u (1977) there was, (what at the time was called), “weeding out” of students. Due to the huge student body (in my case 17,000) this highly regarded state u weeded through the freshman class in an effort to make room for the next group coming in. </p>

<p>I even remember profs talking about giving lower grades so that those who “would not make it through to graduation” would be placed on academic probation, and potentially lose financial aid/scholarship funding, thus being forced out. </p>

<p>Unlike a private school which probably has a vested interest in hanging on to every enrolled student, even the weaker ones.</p>

<p>I wonder if she is dealing with something like this.</p>

<p>Does anyone know if this still happens in state universities?</p>

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<p>I like the sound of that, twinkle. Sometimes the bad stuff turns out to be the best learning experience. Good luck to you and to her.</p>

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<p>I like the sound of that, too.</p>

<p>It seems that the school doesn’t let students like this one fall through the cracks.</p>

<p>That’s very promising.</p>

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<p>TWINKLE - it sounds as tho the questions have been pretty much answered - and that that the school has a good plan in place for studnets like yours. I would look very positively at the program that they have proposed and give your gal the chance to try again. Sometimes kids have to fall on their faces before they pick themselves back up and move on. All is not lost - just sounds like she needs some good support at school - which they obviously seem to be able/want to give her.</p>

<p>Going away to school can be such a huge adjustment for some kids - and some just have a real hard time adjusting to all the changes in their lives. She seems to realize where she stands and is willing to try again and agrees to the supports that will be in place. As long as she is willing and follows thru - encourage her as much as you can. She may just surprise you.</p>

<p>Classes that she has not done well in can usually be repeated - for a better grade - so that is also a possibility for her. </p>

<p>Thinking good thoughts here for you and your gal. :)</p>