<p>My daughter started college in September 2007 at a top tier University out of state, that has a quarter system, and majored in Communications. She recently shared with us her 1st Q grades: C, D, and an F. Another class was dropped several months ago.</p>
<p>She got off to a bad start due to a high fever and arrived at school the night before classes began. She said this caused a ripple effect that she was unable to compensate for. That combined with procrastinating, poor time management, not seeking help from professors or taking advantage of tutoring, led to disaster. We know that she does not take drugs or abuse alcohol, so excessive partying was not the problem. </p>
<p>We are considering the following:</p>
<li>Let her return to school in January with the promise that she will learn from her mistakes</li>
<li>Have her enroll in a local public university and live at home. It is not too late for that</li>
<li>Take the rest of the year off. Let her get a full time job for now and start school from scratch at a different school in the Fall of 2008.
(Is this an option? Can you make a quarter or semester of school go away and start fresh?)</li>
</ol>
<p>These are the important facts. I am leaning toward #1, my spouse is pushing for #2 (or #3 is that is an option). </p>
<p>We were in close contact with her by e-mail and cell phone, and knew that she was having a rough time, but we were surprised by just how bad she did. She did very well in High School high Bs mostly honors classes, and got very good ACT scores.</p>
<p>Tuition and fees are due in two weeks so we must decide ASAP. Thanks!!!</p>
<p>I think, if it was my D, that I’d give her one more quarter to get it together. I agree with Haz that it doesn’t quite add up … but I think I’d give her a shot. </p>
<p>She is likely to be on academic probation … so perhaps there is some sort of support from the school to help her get her act together?</p>
<p>Personally, I just don’t “buy” her explanation. It’s pretty hard to put in a minimal effort to study and get grades THAT bad, especially when she dropped a course and is in a relatively easy major like communications. </p>
<p>I think it is probable that there is something else going on and until whatever the real problem is is solved it’s unlikely tht her grades will be much better. I would suggest that you contact the college and ask whether it is possible for her to take a leave of absence. That, IMO, is the very first piece of information you need to know. Second question, if she takes courses during that leave of absence, can she still return? Third, will she get credit for those courses? Fourth, what GPA must she have for the year to be able to come back for the second year. (Some colleges give everyone a full year before asking them to leave for academic reasons. However, she might have to have a 2.0 or some such GPA to return for sophomore year. It might be really hard to do that with a 1.0 for one quarter–asssuming that the withdrawal doesn’t count against her. I’m not saying I know the answer–just that you need to know it before making any decisions. ) </p>
<p>Assuing she can take a leave, she should. Otherwise, I think it unlikely she will suddenly cure whatever the problem really is and get good grades. If she can take classes during that absence, she should live at home, work part time and take some classes. </p>
<p>If he grades were 3Cs after dropping a course, I might buy the explanation. But, I just don’t buy this one. Maybe she was homesick. Maybe she had some awful experience that traumatized her. I don’t know. But her story makes NO sense to me. </p>
<p>In any event, I think you need more information. before making a decision as to whether she should return.</p>
<p>It sounds to me like she just wasn’t quite ready for school (time management skills, unwilling to seek out help when needed) and getting off to a slow start just made things worse. It’s possible she is very homesick. I think you might be right about her needing to take some time off, re-group, figure out her issues, and start fresh.</p>
<p>Another thought - is she possibly suffering from depression? That would need to be dealt with, probably by a professional, before she could re-gain her footing and start again.</p>
<p>“We know that she does not take drugs or abuse alcohol, so excessive partying was not the problem.”</p>
<p>One can not do drugs or abuse alcohol and still be a party animal. However, I would give her a second chance with a strict warning that it is her last chance.</p>
<p>First plan of action would be to develop a plan IF she is to return. Seek out what resources her school offers…for personal adjustment and for academic adjustment. Learning from her 1st quarter would require a plan to improve life in second quarter would it not? Plan for future success requires effort and knowledge of resources to accomplish the steps of her plan. Threats many times are not the solution.</p>
<p>I am not generally a fan of escaping a problem. I am more a fan of looking at it, squarely, and figuring out what’s needed to address the situation. I believe that is how people grow and learn. So, I would lean heavily toward #1, but that is me.</p>
<p>I also agree with Japher about the validity of having her make the choice and supporting her in it.</p>
<p>It is definitely possible in college to not really know how badly you are doing until the grades actually come out. But I agree with others that you may not be hearing the full story here, in terms of whether she really tried to focus on her studies. Hard to see what kind of ripple effect arriving the night before classes could cause to the academic success of a student. Messing up the initial social adjustment, maybe; but derailing the academics when she didn’t miss a single class day? Hmmm.</p>
<p>Does she still like her field of study? Is that part of it? </p>
<p>What <em>is</em> she doing with her time? Since she is not drinking/using to excess, is she still partying to excess? Spending time with BF? Playing bridge or online games? I think this is what she needs to figure out.</p>
<p>Some kids are reluctant to seek help and she appears to be one of them. But, if she is to return, it seems to me it is either a matter of her putting in the time for her academics or seeking help by going to prof ofc hours, having study groups, using the academic support services.</p>
<p>I don’t see what either #2 or #3 accomplish in terms of identifying the problem and making the necessary changes. They both seem, to me, to be avoidance tactics.</p>
<p>My best friend freshman year at Harvard did something very similar first term freshman year. She had serious culture shock. She was totally unprepared to write research papers, she turned out to have a LD that made learning a foreign language very difficult (she took German). She was in three courses that required many serious papers plus German. She quickly lost her way in German and just gave up. I tried to tutor her, but she was so far behind it was impossible. Similar things happened with the paper. She got into such a panic about them she’d procrastinate and not have time to write them properly. She left with an F in German and a bunch of incompletes and poor grades, attended U. of Florida for a couple of years where she learned to write papers under less stressful circumstances. Then she woke up and thought she’d like that Ivy degree after all. She came back and did fine though she didn’t become a straight A student by any means. She ended up getting excused from the language requirement BTW. She was smart enough second time around to see what the problem had been in German. Oh yeah, and she married my brother. :)</p>
<p>You can’t make a quarter or semester “go away.” Any college/university your daughter wants to attend will require her to submit transcripts of her previous work, which they will consider when making an admissions decision. </p>
<p>I agree with previous posters in this thread; your daughter’s explanation for her grades doesn’t make any sense. Ultimately she should decide what to do next as she will have to live with the repercussions of her decision. If she wants to stay in school, I would let her know that I will continue to pay her tuition, fees, etc. only if she agrees to improve her grades dramatically.</p>
<p>Adding my knowledge of the transfer process to echo what dntw8up has said. You cannot “start from scratch.” </p>
<p>Any school you wish to transfer to will ask you to list every college/uni you have ever attended (even for one course) and will want transcripts from each. You cannot leave them off. At most schools she would be considered a transfer applicant, at some she might be able to apply as a freshman, but she will still need to report her attendance at this university and provide the transcript. </p>
<p>At some open enrollment schools or non-selective schools, this quarter might not hurt her chances of admission. At more selective schools, if she wishes to apply to such, she can overcome the bad record by showing improvement at this same school, by enrolling elsewhere and showing improvement. So this record will not prevent her from moving onward and upward. But it cannot go “poof.”</p>
<p>I know 2 situations where parents told me that they ended up bringing their children home. First case: Son had and was used to a lot of support with papers and hw in high school from his mother (who was a teacher in a public school, BTW). He went to a mediocre private school and could not handle it on his own. His parents gave him 2 or 3 semesters, and brought him back home. He went to a community college and then transferred to a 4 year college. The other person that I know attended a large state U. His brother went to the same state U. and did well. Despite advice and tips from his older brother, he did not do well. He kept asking for one more, and one more semester. His parents gave him at least 2 semesters before they said that was enough. He was able to transfer to a SUNY and he graduated. The mother thought the problems were fraternity related. The initial school that he attended was large, with a big frat population.</p>
<p>I’m with jmmom.
As long as the school allows it, I’d let her go back. When faced with a similar decision in the past, H and I decided the school should set the terms. We were not going to strain our relationship with our child.
The school will have some guidelines for probationary status, like limited credits. Also some schools will let a repeated course count in the GPA, and not the first grade, if taken within some proscribed time. The low grade course is still listed as taken, of course, but it is not in the GPA calculation.
If you knew she was struggling, what message does it send if you yank her now?</p>
<p>I think a first year dean should be contacted by your daughter. She should work this out.</p>
<p>As mathmom points out, it is entirely possible for someone to do badly; there is a ripple effect. My own D would have gotten an F for first semester Ancient Greek if she hadn’t had the good sense to drop it.</p>
<p>These may be particularly difficult gateway courses designed to weed out students; there is a C.</p>
<p>The student and dean should together analyze the situation and its significance and then the parents should be advisors and sounding boards.</p>
<p>I personally would consider taking a leave and maybe taking a couple of classes at a local U, if that is a possibility, with a plan to return to the top tier U next fall, having figured out what needs to happen to be more successful academically. If my child insisted on going back, I probably would allow it, but with misgivings. It looks like she is in danger of flunking out. </p>
<p>The high fever – did it cause some sort of ongoing health problems or something? Mono? How is her health now?</p>
<p>my nephew was taking 3 classes as well his first semester…pretty much the same grades</p>
<p>he had too much time, thought, oh I can get it done later…etc</p>
<p>he was on probation…he didn’t leave school, he didn’t transfer, he tried again his second semester and did well</p>
<p>we don’t need to run and start somewhere else immediately if there was a rough time of it</p>
<p>the big thing is D needs to be really honest with herself…because transferring won’t help if the same attitude transfers with it</p>
<p>sometimes a student gets so far behind, they get embarrassed, lost, feel hopeless…but if they go back to it with the right tools, a plan, communication, etc, they can apbsolutely succeed</p>
<p>can’t imagine that leaving school and going home would do much for the ole self esteem</p>
<p>I say give it another shot, but with a serious plan- </p>
<p>checking in with profs weekly, at a minimum
setting up study groups
a solid study schedule
being honest with the reasons for the failure</p>
<p>for my nephew having TOO much free time was the problem…being busier is much better</p>
<p>I definitely don’t agree with those who say that she is in an easy major, and probably did not even put in a minimal effort. What?</p>
<p>First of all, no freshmen are really taking classes in their major yet. Most freshmen at a State U are taking required classes along with 300 others in the auditorium. That in itself can be ovewhelming and scary. </p>
<p>Schools with a quarter system tend to move at a very intense pace. There are tests and exams ALL the time, and doing badly in a couple can easily mess your grades. If you start the quarter sick, do badly in a few tests, feel upset and hopeless about it, and from there things can quickly spiral downward.</p>
<p>She can probably answer best what happened, and analyze what she can do to improve time management, asking for help, going to TA’s, professor’s office hours etc. </p>
<p>If she is willing to pull herself up by the bootstraps and have another go at it, I would let her. Making her return home could give her a sense of failure, unless that is what she chooses.</p>
<p>If the school says she can come back and she wants to I’d let it ride. So long as she wants to do better no beating up on her is going to change the last grades. Just look ahead and offer to help if she needs it.</p>