<p>Here is the beginning of my USC applicant essay. What do you guys think> What are my strong/weak points and what can I fix? Any and all help will be GREATLY appreciated. And this is just the beginning, so im not even close to being done yet. </p>
<pre><code> How Great, Thou Art
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<p>What I say is right, is right, because Im your mother and mothers are always right
-Tatyana Gunko</p>
<pre><code>It is a truth universally acknowledged that every well meaning mother who cares for her children will always be right in everything that she says and believes in. My mother is a perfect example of such an incredible role model. History and statistics have proven that she is incapable of ever being wrong. She single handedly predicted the sheer impossibility of a black man becoming the president of the United States. Whenever the secular, Jesus-hating scientific world would shed light on the validity of people being born homosexuals, my bold mother would defiantly label this as hogwash. This prodigious mother of mine also has the amazing ability to always know what is best for me, regardless of the rhetoric of my counter-argument. The pathos of her argument is always cemented in her credentials. Her credentials? She is a mother, wisest of the wise, great conqueror of the realm of knowledge; always right and never wrong.
Believe it or not, growing up with an all knowing mother isnt as easy as it sounds. Constantly being reminded of the errors in my logic and the inferiority of my ascribed status has definitely taken its toll on my pride. I mean, I have always considered myself to be a pretty smart guy, but apparently there is much I have yet to learn in order to be considered intelligent. All of my life, my fearless mother has never hesitated to enlighten me on how I can one day reach her level of genius. Ironically enough, the constant blows to my ego are what shaped the person I am today. These werent blows that changed my mind, or made me understand my mom more clearly. No, these never ending reminders served as a figurative knuckle sandwich that helped develop the individual I am today.
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<p>HEres the rest of the essay. As you can see I dont trash my mom in it as much as oyu would think. What do you think? </p>
<p>A Lesson in Humility
What I say is right, is right, because Im your mother and mothers are always right
-Tatyana Gunko</p>
<pre><code>It is a truth universally acknowledged that every well meaning mother who cares for her children will always be right in everything that she says and believes in. My mother is a perfect example of such an incredible role model. History and statistics have proven that she is incapable of ever being wrong. She single handedly predicted the sheer impossibility of a black man becoming the president of the United States. Whenever the secular, Jesus-hating scientific world would shed light on the validity of people being born homosexuals, my bold mother would defiantly label this as hogwash. This prodigious mother of mine also has the amazing ability to always know what is best for me, regardless of the rhetoric of my counter-argument. The pathos of her argument is always cemented in her credentials. Her credentials? She is a mother, wisest of the wise, great conqueror of the realm of knowledge; always right and never wrong.
Believe it or not, growing up with an all knowing mother isnt as easy as it sounds. Constantly being reminded of the errors in my logic and the inferiority of my ascribed status has definitely taken its toll on my pride. I mean, I have always considered myself to be a pretty smart guy, but apparently there is much I have yet to learn in order to be considered intelligent. All of my life, my fearless mother has never hesitated to enlighten me on how I can one day reach her level of genius. Ironically enough, the constant blows to my ego helped shape who I am. These werent blows that changed my mind, or made me think differently. No, these never ending reminders served as a figurative knuckle sandwich that helped develop the individual I am today.
Human nature dictates that we never like to be told that we are wrong. Even if there is doubt in our convictions we humans still have the tendency to continue stressing the validity of our argument until kingdom come. There is nothing worse than that deep excruciatingly bitter feeling of being proven wrong. I am one of many people that can definitely use a lesson or two in humility. But in all fairness, so can my mother. There has always been a hint of irony in her constant suggestions for reforming my humility, but never hers. This doesnt mean that I feel as if I know more or better than my mom; no, far from it. I understand that wisdom grows in correlation with age and experience. But the differences in our surrounding cultures, my mom being raised in the Ukraine and me living most of my life in America, prove to get in the way of reaching almost any kind of common ground.
Through countless arguments, never ending battles that ranged from food preferences to systems of values, I began to notice the circular framework of our disputes. In other words, there was never a clear winner over any debate, only satisfaction from both sides in getting our points across. As I grew older and the arguments continued to increase at an exponential rate, I began to ask myself the question: whats the point? Not once did either one of us convince the other of our line of thinking. Not once was there a compromise reached. Then one day, it hit me: through all these circular arguments lay the groundwork for my greatest lesson in humility.
I have now come to realize that compromise cannot be reached by ignorantly trying to prove someone your point. Compromise can only be reached by willingly trying to understand the other person. After a great deal of self assessment I began to see that all my arguments with my mom had little to do with me trying to convince her of anything. No, they were more directly associated with trying to get her to understand me a little better. Without a doubt, I know that my moms intentions have always been the same.
Growing up in a family of divided cultures has not been easy. But it would have been much harder without any sort of initiative to try and understand one another. Sure it hasnt always been the most pleasant experience to bite the bullet and be fed things contrary to what you believe. But with any kind of compromise sacrifices must be made. I know with all of my heart that my mom loves me and only wants the best for me. Even though our opinions may vary greatly, I have come to the conclusion that compromise can only be reached through the willingness to understand one another. From that foundation of understanding grows a deeper connection between people. And thats what is important to me, not necessarily being right all the time, but understanding that in order to figure someone out it is more important to do the listening and not the talking. And my ears are wide open.
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<p>mgunko: Someplace in here you have the potential for an interesting, thought-provoking essay, but right now you are at the level of cliched generalization:
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<p>IMO it’s very tough to write an essay about your mother without coming across as self-centered and immature. </p>
<p>If I were you I’d a) lose the mocking tone in paragraphs 1, 2 (the rest is better) and b) be far more concrete about how you understand the statement above. What exactly did you learn about humility? How did you reach that conclusion? How has it changed your relationship to your mother? </p>
<p>I’d also be careful about making sweeping statements of fact that start with things like “Human nature dictates” or “It is a truth universally acknowledged.” If in fact, those things are true, you don’t need to tell us. We already know. Your goal is to tell us something that we don’t know; that only you could write about being taught a lesson.</p>
<p>Thanks for the reply and Ill look into it. The reason I put in “It is a truth universally acknowledged” is because it is a literary allusion to Pride and Prejudice, which starts out the same exact way, and also mocks Mrs Bennet in the same manner.</p>
<p>But thanks for your input, but of other people who read it appreciate the mocking tone becasue it hasm ore of my voice in it for I am a very sarcastic person. And I feel as if I make up for the mockery with the rest of the essay by portraying mu growth in understanding. </p>