Here’s another story of notification karma: last year we got a notice on M9 about a package coming from M&Ms in NJ on M10. “OMG,” I thought, “there’s a school sending M&M’s as their congratulations swag; how cool!” Well, it turned out that it was my sister sending a gift to my kid to let my kid know that no matter what she was a proud auntie. :x
That said, there is something to wanting to know in advance to prepare yourself emotionally. Because if you find out when your kid finds out, you have to simultaneously deal with your emotions and your kid’s emotions, and that can be tough for some people, present company included. I was with my kid when 4 emailed decisions were opened, and the one waitlist was a real toughie because as a mama bear I was mad as a hornet about it, and also sad for my kid, but I had to hold myself together because my kid was going through some strong emotions too. Granted, this is part of the job description, but I think helping yourself out whenever possible is a good thing, obviously within the bounds of the law and in the spirit of good citizenship (and what that means I suppose is at the heart of this “debate”). The kid and I got through it ok, mostly because there were other acceptances. But if it had turned out that there were NO offers of admission I think a heads up would have really been appreciated.
As my experience illustrates, this idea of preparing oneself may also impact a parent’s decision of whether to open the emails in advance of their kid.