UVAorBust's Essay Critiquing Service

[UVAorBust]

<p>Hello All,</p>

<p>Well, after being a member of this site for over a year, I figure it is time to give back. I will be reading essays and critiquing them for you. During the summer I’m going to attempt to open my own essay consulting website. But, until then, I’ll attempt to help everyone here out.</p>

<p>Details
I will be critiquing your essay, NOT editing
I will be critiquing ONE essay
DO NOT PM ME!!! IF YOU DO I WILL NOT READ YOUR ESSAY!!!
If you send me your essay, POST ON THIS THREAD</p>

<p>How To Send Me Your Essay
If you would like me to read your essay, please send it to: UVAorBust (at) gmail.com</p>

<p>The format of the email should be as follows:
College Confidential User-Name + A link to your profile
School the essay is for (If Common-App please indicate)
Question you will be answering
Essay</p>

<p>Once you receive a PM with my critique, please post what you think.</p>

<p>NOTE
Obviously, I’m not a Dean at a college or an english major. However, I do feel like I have a great deal of knowledge regarding college essays. I’ve read A LOT of member’s essays, and enjoy hearing other’s stories. If you do not like my opinion that is fine, just please don’t complain about it.</p>

[UVAorBust]

<p>This is the essay I put the most amount of time into. It was for UVA and answered the question “Discuss your favorite place to get lost.”</p>

<p>

The distinct aroma envelops my senses. My teeth sink through the goo of the cheese. The crackle of the crisp bacon mixes with the rush of the flowing yolk. The hot sauce, ketchup, salt, and pepper create a smorgasbord of flavors. There is no experience quite like this; the taste of the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich (or “BEC”) is incomparable.</p>

<p>When I was younger, I was the pickiest kid around. If it wasn’t waffles or buttered pasta, I wasn’t eating it. My enlightenment occurred in sixth grade. After basketball practice, my dad took me to my favorite deli. I was going to order the classic—a buttered roll—but my dad had finally had enough. From this point, I would no longer be allowed to reside inside this fortress of taste bud security. Dad ordered me a BEC with the works. </p>

<p>What I experienced next was pure ecstasy; it was as if Joshua and his trumpets had brought the walls crumbling down… again. I sat in the car questioning my sanity. Had I spent the last twelve years of my life eating food that was as tasteless as cardboard? </p>

<p>My infatuation with the BEC lives on. This sandwich has evolved into something more than a mere snack; it has become the light at the end of the tunnel. After a test-packed day of school, a long day of work, or an emotional day at home, the BEC offers me an escape. During that momentary indulgence, my mind, senses, and entire world are encompassed in this earthly form of Heaven—the BEC.

</p>