<p>There are many CC posters who have mentally ill siblings. Who sees to their proper care? Their families. who makes sure they go to hospital when they are psychotic? Their families. Community service boards? Ptoooey.</p>
<p>The Chos aren’t poor, naive immigrants who wouldn’t know where to find help (Wade Smith is their lawyer. Their pastor offered help). These are extremely bright (daughter accepted into HP), willfully blind people who continued to financially support their dangerous son (phone, hotel, computer, stripper, car). They then foisted him onto the Virginia Tech Campus because they were unwilling to accept their son’s horrific illness.</p>
<p>They are morally culpable. </p>
<p>Korean American communities are talking about the cultural stigma they attach to mental illness–a stigma which may work in homogeneous Korea but does not work in the context of a violent pluralistic society like America.</p>
<p>The Chos aren’t poor, naive immigrants…how do YOU know???
who wouldn’t know where to find help…how do YOU know??
(Wade Smith is their lawyer…so what - most likely retained by the daughter
Their pastor offered help)… not that unusual - and many times not wanted<br>
These are extremely bright…how do you know this???
(daughter accepted into HP…how does this determine how bright the parents are???),
willfully blind people…???..how do YOU know this???
who continued to financially support their dangerous son… he was not deemed to be dangerous til he was well into his early 20’s
(phone, hotel, computer, stripper, car)… many parents financially support their college kids - and who is to say that charges on a credit card bill would define exactly what it really was???
They then foisted him onto the Virginia Tech Campus because they were unwilling to accept their son’s horrific illness… how unfair of an accusation this is…yes he may have been different - yes he may have been odd - but so are many other kids his age and they still go off to school, etc…</p>
<p>They are morally culpable… boy you are very quick to point all the blame on his parents - when you really DON’t know all the details. He showed NO signs of being dangerous to himself or to others prior to 2 years ago - well into his college career. Once any kid leaves home for college - how many parents actually KNOW what their kids are really doing or into</p>
<p>Sure - maybe some things fell thru the cracks - but to blame his family for all of his ill is completely wrong. As is stated in that article - many many resources failed him - and he failed himself as well.</p>
<p>singersmom, I just read your post now. I must have skipped over it. The quotes from their D’s notebook, I am sure will now be a treasure for her family. Honestly, I don’t know how her parents got through the service, nevermind being able to read from his daughter’s notebook. I hope that those quotes will help the family find some kind of comfort.</p>
<p>The Washington Post article pointed out how incredibly difficult it is in VA to force mental health services on anyone not willing. He was an adult. It is almost impossible to get them involuntary admission if there is not gun in their hand at that moment they are screened. Last year someone shot and killed 2 police officers. His father had tried to get help for his son but was unsuccessful. They had a whole article on what he had tried to do to get his son help. VA needs to change their laws. They are one of only 8 states where it is this hard to commit someone or get them help.</p>
<p>New immigrants who can afford Wade Smith, who have a daughter who is a Princeton grad and a mortgage-free house in pricey Northern Virginia are in the top percentile of well-adjusting immigrants. Statistically. </p>
<p>The son was essentially mute throughout high school. The family conveyed extreme worry for his mental state when he was a primary school student. That is knowledge. They had a Princeton student for comparison. That is knowledge. </p>
<p>There is a very negative stigma to mental illness in Korea. </p>
<p>Parents from all cultures do not normally continue generous financial support if the child is refusing to address critical health matters. The Chos generousity is a strong indicator of their decision to ignore the risks of his extreme (mute and friendless) behavior. The mother asked his roommates to take care of him–telling them that he was strange and needed help. She knew.</p>
<p>Despite a massive mental handicap, this boy was a matriculating college student. He must have been phenomenally bright in order to compensate. As an Asian female accepted into harvard and Princeton, I’d wager that Cho’s sister is at the tippy top of the intellectual gene pool. Two very bright children equals one or two very bright parents–usually. Genetics.</p>
<p>What’s unfair is that families must assume the horrific health burdens of the children they produce. That’s unfair but that is life. If families don’t assume that responsibility, then the state is left to pick up the pieces. What’s amazing is how many families assume that duty with grace.</p>
<p>Cho wasn’t a functioning adult. He was a fully supported–even over-supported son–one who felt free to charge strippers to his credit card. I know a lot of boys who have budget issues. None would dare to charge strippers and hotels to their credit cards.</p>
<p>I think the family has culpability here. I understand how they could have made those choices–I’ve seen and experienced that level of denial myself. It is a tricky path to walk but they gambled the wrong way. For him and for those 32 kids and families. That’s my opinion–as someone who has had immediate family hospitalized ten times for psychotic behavior.</p>