I’m all for trips! Where are you planning to go?
My daughter was in a similar situation with limited family and friends to come to a party. Her closest friends had graduated one or two year before her. But we still wanted to celebrate.
Instead of a graduation party, we had a “College Send-Off” party later in the summer. We had a handful of family, neighbors, etc. But the bulk of the guests were my friends, and I am grateful that they came and provided the party atmosphere. 
@Mommertons- that’s such a great idea, this is basically my DD dynamic with her friends, so I really think something like a “later in the summer party” would work great.
@doschicos- I’m thinking of either Hawaii or New York, leaning more towards Hawaii because it’s her favorite place, and she could rest and relax, soak up the sun, we could do a lot of activities that we’ve never done, etc.
NYC would also be fantastic, she’s never been, but it would not be as relaxing.
@abasket, you’re right in that I should get her input as to what she wants to do…I’m fairly sure she will want the trip, but I might be off on the departure day. Hawaii prices go up after mid June, which is one reason arriving the next night after the graduation seems like such a score! But, it is her graduation, after all, so I’ll have a chat with her about it today.
Again, thanks so much for all your suggestions. I appreciate you all taking time to answer my question.
Here’s what I’ve done once or twice with my mom and my husband:
I make up plans for one or two tentative trips— in your case, Hawaii, NYC and I’ll throw in Disney World just because it’s one of our family favorites.
Come up with the resort/hotel you would stay at, possible restaurant choices, things you would do.
Print them all up, put them into a binder, and wrap it up… maybe in the school colors of her college… Present it to her on May 1st, College Decision Day as a gift. She can read all about the choices, and let you know which option she would prefer in plenty of time to make reservations.
My kids went to other kid’s graduation parties the week of graduation. The rest of the summer they did the usual stuff. Work mostly. We took a week in Vermont later in the summer. They really enjoyed hanging with their firends. My oldest hates travel, so of course we wouldn’t have done a trip for him anyway, but if your daughter would like a trip, I think it would be a great idea - ask her what she thinks, and whether right after graduation makes sense. If there’s a big difference in price that’s a good reason to go sooner.
@bjkmom- Such a great idea to wrap up the trips and give her a choice. Yeesh, you guys are all so creative!
I hesitated asking my question, but am so glad I did.
I’m realizing we are in such a rut living day to day with such serious health issues to deal with all the time, that I’m forgetting to lighten up and have some fun with this. It is a celebration after all, not another trip to the ER for god sakes.
A trip is a great idea. The day after, maybe not so much. I would definately check with your D. Have a great time whatever you decide. Here’s a story for you…
I took my D and her best friend to Isla Mujeres for a four night vacation two days after graduation so they could attend the parties of their friends. But, her friends’ party was scheduled for the following Sunday, a large catered affair for more than 100 people. (I threw a much smaller informal party the day of graduation for D). Long story short, due to several airline complications attempting to get home, friend attended her very expensive graduation party via Skype from a Cancun hotel room. Many tears all around, mostly disappointed ones. We got home late night the day after the party. I felt helpless.
Our daughter will be graduating middle school in May. Ceremony 4:00-6:00. Parents hosted party 6:00-10:00. Then, 8 8 hours later she and my wife are off on a two week adventure in South America. She does not know about it yet and we are debating if we should tell her or not. Right now leaning towards surprise. We did same type thing with our son several years ago. His surprise was total (we packed and loaded car while he was sleeping), he didn’t learn our final destination until we made our connecting flight to Australia.
I second the end of summer party idea, @thumper1 . My kids’ friends had parties right around graduation, and getting to them felt like an endurance contest rather than a celebration. Sometimes there would be three in one day, and the kids would feel obligated to stop by so that no one felt hurt or left out. It was the norm at their school to do it this way.
My daughter had hers the weekend before graduation (because it was also her 18th birthday) and we figured that unless she robbed a bank or something, she was going to graduate, so it wasn’t a premature celebration. It was nice because hers was the only one that weekend, so almost everyone was able to come.
But a party at the end of the summer, before everyone heads off to college, would be ideal.
Maybe set a budget and give her more input about where she prefers to go. There may be somewhere she’d really want to go that you haven’t even thought of yet. And , yes, check with your daughter about the timing. And have fun!
Can I presume you are talking about HS graduation?
We are a family of 5 (D23: Junior at a CSU, D20: CC now - will be at a UC this fall, and S19: will be in community college in the Fall).
HS graduation around here passes with little more than us five going out for a nice dinner at the location of the grad’s choosing. Nothing crazy, no giant parties, no family, etc. We don’t even buy/send graduation announcements. It is not that we don’t celebrate the event, but rather HS graduation is just an expectation. Most kids would have to work hard at NOT graduating from HS.
I agree with the upthread comments to simply ask her what she would like. If it is a family vacation, or other family event - so be it. It might also be a good thing to think about giving that money to her so that she can get a good laptop, hold for school supplies, miscellaneous items, do some upkeep on the car if she is taking it to college.
Maybe she will surprise you with her answer.
We do not have any family in town, and Kiddo #1 is not a “party person.” Honestly, I didn’t even know who I would have invited to a party. As it turned out, college orientation was offered for the morning after graduation, so Kiddo and DH drove through the night to get her there. So, based on our experience, leaving immediately for something is totally doable. (And Kiddo #1 had a much better time making new friends at orientation than she probably would have had at any graduation party.)
I think a trip in lieu of a party is a great gift, and I love the wrapped up choices idea.
In our case, I offered to fly two of Kiddo’s friends/roommates from a summer program in for a reunion. The fourth drove up. We hosted the reunion and provided plenty of junk food and snacks. They had a great time and Kiddo loved it.
@SFBayRecruiter- I’m sure you meant no offense, but for some kids graduating high school with their class is actually a big accomplishment, and one for which they have to work very hard. Mine is one of those kids.
See post #19
Edit: Accidentally repeated post
@My3Kiddos- your situation sounds like ours, and My DD is not a big party person either, so I think this trip will be extra fun for us.
It’s nice to read what other families do/don’t do to celebrate high school graduation. Honestly, it never would’ve occurred to me to host an all day open house until I was invited to her friend’s party last year.
I’m happy with planning a trip, and am appreciative of all the suggestions on how to make the planning/big reveal more special.
We have done some family trips with our kids as well and built a lot of happy memories with them. I think your trip idea is awesome, as long as your D thinks it is too!
Our kids sometimes are overwhelmed if we want them to choose. In such cases, we choose 3 or so things we would love and think our kids would also enjoy and have them choose among them or veto.