I’m a single mom, and am trying to find a way to celebrate my DD’s graduation that doesn’t involve a party.
In a nutshell, we will not have any family in town for my DD’s graduation. This is mainly due to strained family dynamics and the fact that her grandparents are elderly, live out of town, and can’t make the trip. She will have a graduation night event put on by her school, but after that I’m not sure what to do to fill the void of having no family, and not many friends, to help her celebrate the next day, once she gets home from the school event.
Last year, her closest friend’s mom planned an all-day open house the day after the graduation, so her daughter’s friends, and teachers could come over to congratulate her. Is this the norm for graduates these days? We simply aren’t close to enough people for something like that, so I’m thinking of planning a trip for us, which would leave the next evening.
I’m curious to know if you all think a next day departure would be too soon after an all night graduation party? Would it be better to leave a day or two later? (I can get the best rates (First Class!) on flights if we leave the next evening.)
Graduation is a time for celebrating, so I want to make this special for her. I’m just sort of stumped as to what to do.
Ask her. My kids graduated and one left with her boyfriend’s parent on a trip the next day. They came to our state for the graduation and then went to the Florida keys. Other child went home with her grandmother and uncle for the summer the day after. Neither had been invited to a lot of post grad parties so I don’t think they were missing anything.
I would ask her. She might want to stick around for her friends’ graduations parties. But maybe not. Honestly, in my opinion, graduation parties are usually really boring. I like the trip idea. Maybe she could invite a friend?
I think the trip is a wonderful idea. Definitely ask your daughter about the timing but don’t be afraid to let her know about the cost considerations. My son left on a trip the day after graduation. In his case, having a big trip to look forward to (and pack for) right after graduation probably helped keep him from getting overwhelmed by the fuss of graduation hoopla.
We are going the trip route too. Our experience is that most people (at least in our neck of the woods in OH), don’t even do grad parties on graduation weekend and stagger them through the summer. We are leaving a couple of weeks after graduation but we have some extenuating circumstances.
We’re leaving for Disney World about 3 weeks after graduation. We’ll have a party in between there somewhere-- but I have a huge family and we’re all local.
Speak to your daughter, but in a positive light… “Hey honey, I want to give you a trip as a graduation gift. Here are the destinations I’m considering. It turns out that the best day to leave is right after graduation; how would that work with you?”
We’re doing this! My daughter also has all night party for graduation through the district and then the afternoon of the following day we’re all flying out for our summer family vacation – 2 weeks this year! Long flights but I figure she’ll sleep better b/c she’s so tired and my younger one can sleep anywhere.
Thanks everyone! You’ve helped ease my sense of worry about all this. I also really like your suggestion @bjkmom about speaking in a more positive light about it all. Your way sounds sooooooo much better than how I had it playing in my head!
The flight I’m hoping to get leaves at 4pm and arrives around 9pm, so she can sleep then. Maybe I can get the hotel concierge to put some graduation decorations in our room, so it would feel extra special when we get there.
I love hearing what you are doing/have done to celebrate, too, so thanks for sharing.
@Trixy34 - I agree, or at least that’s how I felt at my DD’s friend’s party last year.
It was a lovely gesture on her mom’s part though, and I know her daughter appreciated seeing people. She was was exhausted from being awake most of the night, so by the time I got there it felt a bit more strained than celebratory.
You’re not filling a void. You want to honor your daughter’s accomplishment, and a trip is one way to do this.
We gave our kids a choice, a party or a trip. Our daughter opted for a party, but our son wanted to go to NYC to see a Broadway show with just our immediate family. (My mom did come to his graduation but flew home two days later.) We left the Tuesday after his graduation because the hotel and show tickets were cheaper and because he started work the following Saturday. We had a blast. We took the train down from Boston, which was an adventure in itself because Amtrak is the WORST, ate lots of NYC street food, visited the Disney store, museums, Central Park, and, finally, saw a show. It was a great family bonding experience.
I think a graduation trip is a great idea. But you could also have a little party later in the summer.
The Thumper Family did this for both kids…
We had a cookout at our house the first week of August for our kids and any friends they wanted to invite. In our case, we also invited some neighbors and local friends. No out of town family was invited (they had been here graduation weekend). The beginning August timing was great as it didn’t interfere with ALL the post graduation parties happening in June. Plus, it was just about when kids were getting ready to leave for college, so it was like a farewell party.
It was lots of fun, and gave us something to sort of look forward.
My D on her own requested a trip rather than a party. I was all for it! She was totally uncomfortable about a party. We didn’t do the trip right after graduation but late June. Win-win!
Bottom line: her choices should be considered first and then your ability to honor those choices should come next. So, if she’d like a trip or a party - once that is decided then you can offer the degree to which you can do either.
Side note: it was interesting to me - fine, but interesting - how few cards/gifts she got from family or local neighbors/friends who we would have invited to a party but didn’t since we didn’t have one. It just made me realize that when you have a party and people come they assume they must come with “gifts”. And I kind of hate that that is true.
Ohh! Love the idea of a get together later in the summer. I would never have thought of that.
Seriously, I appreciate all your suggestions more than you will ever know.
In our circles, there really isn’t a lot of hoopla around HS graduation - gifts, cards, family parties, etc. It’s interesting to read the differences here.
@doschicos -We don’t have family around to help celebrate, which is part of the reason I’d like to do a trip. It’s a long story, and frankly sort of depressing, something we deal with each holiday too. It’s always the elephant in the room, so to speak. I really want the focus to be on her and all she’s achieved.
She’s been through an awful lot during the last few years, fighting off multiple cancer scares, while handling all the stress, pressure of high school, and the college application process. For some, high school graduation is no big deal, but for her it’s a huge achievement to be graduating with her class.
